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Codependency Articles
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- Do You Support Each Other? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWe all have dreams, wishes and goals. There are things we want for ourselves, our partner, our family. Sometimes though we find that it is difficult, if not impossible, to make our wish a reality. We may want to start a new business, go back to school, learn a new trade, pick up a new hobby ...
Views: 1904 - What To Do When Your Partner Triggers You - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2018 from Dominica ApplegateEver call up your girlfriend and start off with these words “Oh my Gaah, you are never going to believe what he did?” Chances are you've been in or you're in a relationship now where you get triggered. It's actually rather challenging to not be triggered when you're in a relationship, as ...
Views: 1901 - Love Addicts: 7 Steps To Feel Good About Yourself - by Submitted on May 09, 2013 from Jim Hall1.Don't make other peoples thoughts, feelings, or actions about YOU. In other words, with healthy emotional boundaries, don't take responsibility (or blame yourself) for what another person may do, say or think? You are not responsible (i.e., your partner or ex partner). As an adult, you are ...
Views: 1894(2 votes) - Affirming Your True, Authentic Self - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2013 from Darlene LancerEach time you affirm your true, authentic self, every cell in your body cheers “Yes!” When you negate yourself, it has negative biological consequences. To build self-esteem and affirm your true self, try this: Take action to meet your needs. Express who you really are. Think good thoughts ...
Views: 1892(1 vote) - The Trap of Perfectionism - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2014 from Darlene LancerPerfectionism is an addiction, meaning we’re repeatedly unable to stop our perfectionist behaviors. Like other addictions, perfectionism varies in severity and can have negative consequences. It harms our self-esteem, make us unable to accept other people’s differences and their mistakes and ...
Views: 1892 - WHY ROMANCE TURNS TOXIC - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2018 from Darlene LancerMost everyone wants to fall in love, especially codependents. To us, love is perhaps the highest ideal, and relationships give our lives meaning and purpose. They enliven and motivate us. A partner provides a companion when we have difficulty initiating action on our own. Being loved also ...
Views: 1892(3 votes) - Addiction and the Brain - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2010 from Lisa EspichHow can he be so selfish? He can clearly see how much pains he's causing - why doesn't he care? I can't take the stress any longer. He's destroying all of our dreams. Our lives have become Hell. Isn't he tired of living this way? These are the typical thoughts that run through your mind when ...
Views: 1891(2 votes) - Become Irresistible! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciI have noticed that when we have the foot to the pedal, we are moving so fast that we actually miss the beautiful scenery around us. We go about life trying to get things accomplished to such an extent that we burn ourselves out and end up actually accomplishing less... So, what's the point? ...
Views: 1891(1 vote) - NARCISSUS AND ECHO: THE HEARTBREAK OF RELATIONSHIPS WITH NARCISSISTS - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2017 from Darlene LancerThe poignant myth of Narcissus and Echo crystallizes the tragic problem of relationships with narcissists. They were tragic Greek characters in a story told by the Roman poet Ovid in Metamorphoses. Sadly, both partners are locked into a painful drama, where neither feel satisfied or sufficiently ...
Views: 1891(3 votes) - Romantic Jealousy - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninPathological envy is not the same as romantic jealousy. These two emotions have little to do with each other. Romantic jealousy is the product of a violation of trust; a breach of romantic exclusivity of intimacy; and a denial of possession. It also involves damage to the self-esteem and ...
Views: 1883(1 vote) - The Female Bully and the Codependent Part II: “A Smelly Turd in a Pretty Package” - by Submitted on May 18, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownIn Part One, we discussed some characteristics of the serial female family bully, the way she bullies, her targets and her end game. We looked at some interesting characteristics also seen with the codependent; poor self-esteem and inability to speak her truth or express her anger. In Part ...
Views: 1866(1 vote) - Recovery from Rejection and Break-Ups - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2016 from Darlene LancerBecause our nervous system is wired to need others, rejection is painful. Romantic rejection especially hurts. Feeling lonely and missing connection share the evolutionary purpose of survival and reproduction. Ideally, loneliness should encourage you reach out to others and maintain your ...
Views: 1864(1 vote) - Sons of Narcissistic Fathers - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2016 from Darlene LancerSons of narcissistic fathers are driven by lack of confidence. Raised by a self-centered, competitive, arrogant father, they feel like they can never measure up or be enough to garner their father’s approval. Their father may be absent or critical and controlling. He may belittle and shame his ...
Views: 1863(1 vote) - Narcissistic Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2016 from Darlene LancerSince writing Codependency for Dummies, countless people contact me about their unhappiness and difficulties in dealing with a difficult loved one, frequently a narcissistic partner or parent who is uncooperative, selfish, cold, and often abusive. Partners of narcissists feel torn between their ...
Views: 1862(2 votes) - Your Relationship is the Key to Your Success! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciOur relationship is one of the biggest, most powerful asset and gift we have in our life! It is a true "treasure chest" worth a fortune. It can deliver unimaginable heights of satisfaction, peace, joy, love, happiness and success!! To cash-in on this fortune we have to polish the "gems on ...
Views: 1857(1 vote) - Financial or Emotional Crisis? Get Security Today! - by Submitted on May 07, 2014 from Emma ViglucciMoney. Money is a hot topic in many relationships as there are intense emotions attached to money as well as a range of meaning around it. Partners have different ideas about the importance of money, what it means to them, its purpose, its role, how to manage it, and even how to earn it! Couples ...
Views: 1849 - Getting Triggered and What You Can Do - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2017 from Darlene LancerGetting your "buttons" pushed or getting "triggered" is an opportunity to heal and grow. The more hurts we've endured and the weaker our boundaries, the more reactive we are to people and events. Our triggers - our buttons - are our wounds. Codependents are off the charts when it comes to ...
Views: 1848(2 votes) - E Is For Elephant - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Sara DillingerDon’t think about that elephant in the room. Whatever you do, do not think about the elephant. Just ignore it. Maybe it will go away. Of course, when you are told NOT to think about something, that is about the only thing you can think of. Even though there is no actually elephant in ...
Views: 1846(1 vote) - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 1837(1 vote) - Do You Have Dirty Thoughts About Your Partner? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWhen was the last time you were physically intimate with your partner? If you say a long time, you are not alone! A lot of couples share their sexual life is in the toilet. They struggle getting along, among other things, to the point that being physically intimate is the furthest thing from ...
Views: 1831 - Restructuring: Are You In Your Partner’s Circle…? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciCouple relationships experiencing difficulties can be categorized into two broad styles of relating: temperamental or tenuous, and can fluctuate between these extremes. These relationships are not satisfying, and not likely to succeed – enjoy couples’ inherent synergy, as the partners are spent ...
Views: 1830(2 votes) - The Harm of Enabling - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2009 from Camille StrateRegardless of our chosen field, or the manner in which we use your gifts, most of us have come across people in our lives who absolutely refuse to take responsibility for their actions, their situations, their own lives. It could be a family member, a dear friend, a co-worker, even a spouse. ...
Views: 1824(2 votes) - Being as Good to Yourself as You Are to Others - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2009 from Kari SamuelsIn the Intuitive Development class that I teach, I often ask people to close their eyes and listen to their hearts instead of listening to their thoughts. So often we get wrapped up in all of our responsibilities and worries that we don’t even know what our own needs are. We know what our ...
Views: 1822(1 vote) - Enabling - When Helping is Actually Hurting - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2011 from Lisa EspichIt is difficult to be in a relationship with an addict and not get sucked into enabling behavior. When somebody you love is suffering with an illness or a disease you naturally want to help. As a result, loved ones often step in to save the addict from the devastating consequences of their ...
Views: 1818(1 vote) - The Dark Side of Loneliness - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2015 from Darlene LancerMany people, especially codependents, are haunted by inner loneliness. Twenty percent (60 million) of Americans report that loneliness is the source of their suffering. In fact, our emotional reaction to rejection emanates from the area of our brain (the dorsal anterior cingulated) that also ...
Views: 1815(1 vote) - STEPS TO BE EMPOWERED AND NOT A VICTIM - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2016 from Darlene LancerIn recovery circles, being a “victim” is frowned upon. Decades ago, when I heard people say they were no longer a victim, I had no idea what they meant. Actually, a victim is an individual who has been fooled, hurt, or harmed, due to his or her own emotions or ignorance, an unfortunate event, or ...
Views: 1814(1 vote) - 12-Step Recovery and “Things of God.” A Perfect Match. - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2010 from Judy Herzanek~ by Joe Herzanek I’m often asked, especially by many in the Christian Community, if the AA 12-step program conflicts with Biblical Christianity. Some feel that the two just don’t go together. Personally, after three decades of studying and being part of both groups, I have to ...
Views: 1812(3 votes) - It Should be All Fun & Games! - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2014 from Emma ViglucciFun is important in our relationship. Having fun releases different chemicals in the brain that engender good feelings which get then associated with our partner. This is a good thing. Having fun with our partner should be a priority in our relationship. We can get huge returns on this ...
Views: 1811 - From Anger to Love - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2009 from Terri BrittAnger. No one likes the feeling. Your body tightens. Your blood pressure heightens. You feel out of control. Have you ever asked yourself why you get angry? The tendency in our world is to think that someone or something has made us mad. The truth, however, is that our anger comes from ...
Views: 1810(4 votes) - Fun and Pleasure… - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2014 from Emma ViglucciThere is a tendency towards passiveness in our relationship as time passes. Couples get comfortable in their routine, whether it is an efficient and satisfying routine or not, and lax in their relating, whether they are on the same page or not. They settle into whatever relating they have ...
Views: 1805 - How Much Do You Get Your Partner? - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2014 from Emma ViglucciThe majority of the couples that want to improve their relationship identify that communication is an issue for them. They share how they can’t see eye-to-eye, convey their feelings and perspective, or understand each other. They report they end up fighting every time they try to address ...
Views: 1804(2 votes) - Secrets and Lies: The Damage of Deception - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2017 from Darlene LancerTrust is a fragile. Secrets and lies jeopardize trust and can damage us and our relationships – sometimes irreparably. We all tell “white lies.” We say “I’m fine,” when we’re not, compliment unwanted gifts, or even fib, “The check is in the mail.” But in an intimate relationship, emotional ...
Views: 1795(1 vote) - Loving a Borderline - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2015 from Darlene LancerCaring about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. Being a borderline (having BPD) is no picnic, either. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time on the border between reality and ...
Views: 1792 - Family Co-dependence Stifles growth and development - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Jeanette RaymondDriving home from his last landscape design consult, thirty-three year old Craig’s stomach was in knots wondering if Sophie would have gotten over the row she had with her mother the other day. He felt bad for his wife who had tried and failed to arrange a family dinner, taking out her ...
Views: 1789 - Twenty Questions Identify Codependency Issues - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2015 from Randi FineIs Codependency a Problem in Your Life and in Your Relationships? Take the Quiz To find out if codependency is a problem in your life, please answer yes or no to the following twenty questions: Do you put others’ feelings, desires and needs before your own? Are you drawn to ...
Views: 1789(1 vote) - AUTHENTICITY HEALS: 6 STEPS TO BEING AUTHENTIC - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2017 from Darlene LancerAuthenticity is the opposite of shame. It reveals our humanity and allows us to connect with others. Shame creates most all codependency symptoms – including hiding who we are, sacrificing our needs, and saying yes when we rather not – all to be accepted by someone else. It warps our ...
Views: 1788(2 votes) - Why Women Date Bad Boys - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2017 from Merryl LentzBad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do when they come for you? For some women, the answer is, "Hurl myself into his tattooed arms." These women are captivated by his untamed wildness, fearlessness, nonconformity, rebelliousness, boldness, charm, charisma and independence. With testosterone ...
Views: 1787 - Domestic Violence: What It Is--Part One, in a Series of Six - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Gayle Joplin Hall“When I used to hear stories about men beating up their wives, I figured the wives were cheating around. I never, ever, heard my father raise his voice to my mother, so this was foreign to me. What goes on behind closed doors is someone’s own business, right?” – Dr. Gayle J. Hall, (my thoughts ...
Views: 1785(1 vote) - Learning to Take Responsibility - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2011 from Caroline NettleOften when we begin on the path of personal development or spiritual growth, we start to look at the behaviours that we have been practising to this point. We begin to see that our behaviours have caused us issues in our relationships with friends and family, and we gradually learn that we ...
Views: 1778(1 vote) - Symptoms of a Codependent: Here Are the Traits - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2014 from Mary DeYonI thought if I played by the rules and did everything the way THEY said I should like a good little Catholic girl, I’d feel safe. I’d grow up, get married and have lots of kids like my Mom and live happily ever after. Why would I even think that since Mom wasn’t living happily ever ...
Views: 1777 - Relationships: Does Rescuing Others Keep Them Stuck? - by Submitted on May 12, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAt times, one is going to feel the need to help another; either through someone asking for help or as a result of one offering their hand without being asked. And as human beings need help from time to time, it is good thing that there are people like this in the world. To help another ...
Views: 1775(1 vote) - The Biggest Cause of Anxiety - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2015 from Darlene LancerAnxiety is apprehension of experiencing fear in the future. The danger feared isn’t imminent and may not even be known or realistic. In contrast, fear is an emotional and physical reaction to a present, known threat. Anxiety is typically characterized by obsessive worry and an inability to ...
Views: 1774(1 vote) - How to Stop Being a Captive of Your Own Unawakened Consciousness - by Whenever you discuss matters of a spiritual nature with people you will invariably run into two distinct groups. There are those who claim to know the Truth, but who express their great certainty by attacking anyone who doesn’t see God as they do. And then there is the other group that comprises ...
Views: 1765 - Codependency - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownA No Nonsense approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term and long term. Is this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes. Ask ...
Views: 1764(1 vote) - Eat, Pray, Love…Your Journey to Awakening Part IV - LOVE - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Michelle Lee, CHLove In part four of our own more practical Journey to Awakening we discuss Love. On her journey Elizabeth Gilbert finds love in Bali. If you read the book you know that Gilbert’s journey was about finding and defining herself. Until then Gilbert, like many of us, lost herself in her ...
Views: 1762(3 votes) - How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2017 from Nancy CarboneThose with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as ...
Views: 1762 - What does Forgiveness mean - by Submitted on May 16, 2004 from Bob GrantYears ago I sat in a supervision group with a group of collages in which we discussed various cases. We were all new at this counseling thing, and frequently brought our “worst” cases to the group for any sort of help we could get. One particular day someone brought up a couple they were ...
Views: 1762 - Your Relationship is the Key to Your Success!! - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciOur relationship is one of the biggest, most powerful asset and gift we have in our life! It is a true treasure chest worth a fortune. It can deliver unimaginable heights of satisfaction, peace, joy, love, happiness and success!! To cash-in on this fortune we have to polish the gems on the ...
Views: 1761(2 votes) - Is Your Relationship Toxic? - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2017 from Darlene LancerHealthy relationships nourish and support us. Like poison, a toxic relationship is one that is damaging to us. Instead of uplifting us, it makes us feel worse. When it ends, we might experience post-traumatic stress or a lessening of our self-esteem and trust in ourselves and others. Although ...
Views: 1759(2 votes) - Are You Stuck in a Woman’s Role? - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2010 from Darlene LancerWomen assume many roles throughout their lives – as daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and grandmothers. Women’s roles have been largely determined by the rules and expectations of culture, religion, and the patriarchy, as well as biology. Have you considered to what extent your roles have ...
Views: 1755(3 votes)