Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
If you have been married for any length of time you know full well the amount of work that has already taken place. Yet, there is still more work looming.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some short cuts to experiencing more blessings in a marriage?
While there are no easy tricks or short ... Views: 607
It takes all kinds of people to make up the world we live in. In life, we have the opportunity to meet many people. Some of them we find are too difficult to deal with. These are the people we end up not liking and we try and avoid them as much as possible. Keeping well away from them might be ... Views: 2894
When there is a build up of anger in a relationship, healthy communication is clearly absent. Both ears and mouths are not working properly. Messages being given are likely to be interpreted through a filter that hears only what anger expects to hear. The message, as it might be offered, is ... Views: 1765
Exploring and improving the dynamics of Relationships is a lifelong process. In fact, I have learned that the quality of our relationships has a direct impact on nine areas in our life that are entertwined daily. A broken area can cause disruption in the remaining areas thus casusing an ... Views: 592
Having problems and challenges in life is something we all face at one time or another. For most people, problems drag them way down emotionally and almost completely drain the life energy out of them.
But it doesn't have to be that way. By making a few simple adjustments in the way you view ... Views: 1576
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
There is an old saying that many attribute to a Chinese proverb that goes like this – “May you live in interesting times.” To say that is an understatement of our world today is, well . . . an understatement!
We are experiencing unprecedented ... Views: 5687
The Menu
Dinner:
Artichokes with Basil-Lime Dipping Sauce
Lobster Tails with Butter
Dessert:
Chocolate-Dipped Strawberries
Drinks:
A rich, buttery Chardonnay such as Bryon Chardonnay, or Franciscan 2002 Chardonnay. Champagne works too
Whoever you break out ... Views: 2510
Question:
I have read so many books...many of them yours. All say that relationships are your Self reflecting back to you. I have never had a healthy relationship with a man. I had a childhood that seems to have left me feeling unlovable. Abuse and no real concern expressed for its impact ... Views: 767
"The answers to our problems don't lie beyond our reach. They exist in our laboratories and universities; in our fields and our factories; in the imaginations of our entrepreneurs and the pride of the hardest-working people on Earth. Those qualities that have made America the greatest force of ... Views: 523
As a staff support officer I am seeing an increasing number of people who are sadly splitting up having been together, in a lot of cases, for many years. They say that the magic has gone and they have grown apart, and perhaps they have taken each other for granted over several years. Each has ... Views: 1322
Having highlighted the problem of women undermining themselves and their girls in my first blog, I wanted to use the second to express the spirit in which I hope we can try to address it. How can we start to limit the pressure we put on ourselves around body image, aging and sexuality?
Here’s ... Views: 925
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Let’s face it – the economy of the USA is in turmoil. And the truth is, the unemployment rate is approaching 10%, and will probably exceed that rate in the coming months. The times are tough in America today.
Not good news, for sure. Tough ... Views: 4054
Of course it’s not completely true that men don’t attend therapy, however, women are more likely to attend therapy in greater numbers. According to Statistics Canada, there are also differences in the types of mental health disorders and addictions reported by men and women. Approximately 6% of ... Views: 2288
I believe the growing preference for texting has a lot to do with its impersonal nature. It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk. It’s also very easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear ... Views: 10367
When you asked your spouse to marry you, or when you said yes to the question, did you fully comprehend what you were saying at the time?
You were planning out the rest of your life at the moment and inviting another person to join you in the journey. But did you realize who they’d be ... Views: 1394
Dear Lisa,
I am a man, and I would like to know why my girlfriend dumped me! Women also do the dumping! Why do you NOT have a WHY WOMEN DUMP MEN column on your site? Is it only a figment of the mind that men are also human?
–Representing
Dear Representing,
Yes, men are human.
Most ... Views: 2625
Dear Lisa,
I started seeing this great guy for about a month. He made me feel pretty special and I liked him a lot. After I slept with him, he never called me again. I called him a couple weeks later and he says he’s emotionally unavailable. I feel duped and hurt, but I still want him to ... Views: 4766
Dear Lisa,
Why is it that when two people start dating for the first four to six months the relationship is fine, and then it falls apart? In the beginning, you’re calling each other all the time, emailing, spending time together, and then things start to go downhill and the man stops calling ... Views: 2586
1) “We Need to Talk.”
Nothing puts up a guy’s defenses faster than those four little words. Why? No woman ever says , “We need to talk — I’ve been thinking you should play golf more often.” or “We need to talk — my hot supermodel friend is going to spend bikini season in our spare bedroom.” ... Views: 1833
Dear Lisa,
I broke up with my boyfriend back in January. I was going through a lot of personal problems and he was working a lot. We lived almost 1,000 miles apart. I felt like he didn’t care anymore and thought I’d dump him before he dumped me.
The thing is, I don’t know why I thought ... Views: 3450
Don't make things worse by trying to get her back
The biggest regret guys often have is that during the break up they acted in way that was clearly out of desperation.
Usually guys feel a profound anxiety to do something to fix the situation and so they end up acting in a way that they ... Views: 14439
The recent tragedy between Rihanna and Chris Brown has left many people scratching their heads. How could someone as beautiful as her get into such a relationship? How could he do that to her? Why would she put up with it? Why did she go back to him? Abusive relationships are difficult to ... Views: 1415
As the Radio Love Psychic on the nationally renowned KXRK Radio From Hell morning show, I use a few sneaky tricks to get the quick, accurate reads on the callers. The first is that there are some unchangeable, immutable Universal Laws regarding people’s connections with each other. The next is ... Views: 754
The world moves at a tremendously fast pace. It’s virtually impossible to disconnect from work, social networks, media, news, even friends and family. Life is often an overload of emails, voice mails, instant messages, profiles, shows, kids activities, schedules, and the endless desire to know ... Views: 793
An unhappy marriage predisposes women to metabolic syndrome (the risk for obesity, diabetes, heart disease and stroke) according to a study by University of Utah psychologists (American Psychosomatic Society); by the way the unhappily married men in the study are just fine. Apparently, when ... Views: 523
Summer's a great time for evening walks, except for one problem - mosquitoes. Many couples like to walk at night. They'll be walking along, enjoying the cool air, when zap! One or both of them gets bitten.
Mosquitoes don't discriminate between genders. I don't know how they choose their ... Views: 1234
Pity or genuine desire for connection?
Watching Tom rapt in conversation with their guests made Roxy feel left out and unimportant. Almost as if he heard her wish, Tom asked her for her opinion of the movie they were all talking about. She could hardly speak. She didn’t want to be brought in ... Views: 9651
Do you want to believe in magical relationships--the click your heels three times--answer to having healthy, happy and intimate relationships? But does your own life make this desire look impossible? Do you sometimes think, if only I had a partner who was willing to do their fair share. Well ... Views: 980
Ever have one of those weeks when there is palpable, anger-inciting tension between you and a family member? Or you have had a crushing misunderstanding with one of your dearest friends? Or there is an incident at work that has had you mumbling obscenities under your breath and double-checking ... Views: 8582
Showing respect is a way of demonstrating love. The feeling of love or affection doesn't have to be present in order to give it. When you show another (or yourself) respect, you are acting out of love.
If someone said he or she loved me but consistently treated me with disrespect, I am ... Views: 1489
Call them SNAG’s – Sensitive New Age Guys or men that are genuinely trying to rescue an ailing relationship. Our practice now sees as many as 75% of males seeking counsel. So what has lead to this new revolution?
Once upon a time, the first stages of a marriage breakdown saw the wife looking ... Views: 1159
I’ve been working with a lot of couples over the years. One of the most common concerns they bring up are arguments that get too aggressive. Spouses end up getting emotionally hurt, upset and angry. While conflicts are a given in relationships, you can dramatically improve how you argue and ... Views: 1773
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Here is an undeniable truth about life – actions speak louder than words! We know, you’ve heard this all before! But the truth is, you can, and must, judge a man by his actions and not by his words!
Words are cheap. Actions mean everything! The ... Views: 10790
So much has been said of friendship and love that it seems on one level redundant to even write about it. In my own life I have found insight, understanding, awareness and suffering, as I engage the pursuit of its experience and the never ending conversations that occur around the dance of its ... Views: 1510
There comes a point and time in everyone's life when they need to let go. It's easier said than done, and even when most recognize the need to let go they can't do it.
Letting go is about freedom; freedom that can only be experienced through the disconnection of the things - or the person - ... Views: 2843
The following article originally appeared on www.midlifebachelor.com on June 14, 2009 ...
Choosing to invest in a new relationship directly affects your own level of personal happiness especially in the near-term ... and so it is extremely important to keep your eyes and ears open, and be ... Views: 7330
You’ve worked so hard to move forward, and you are finally manifesting the life you wanted. You’ve learned how to let go of self-sabotaging habits. But what do you do when what’s pulling you back is someone you love, or an old client to whom you have dedicated lots of time?
I am talking about ... Views: 11061
According to the most recent statistics, the divorce rate, often quoted (even by this author in psychology classes) as 50% of marriages, is actually closer to the low 40 percentile. (Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think, By Dan Hurley, The New York Times, April 19, 2005). But that does ... Views: 11738
"Man's greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman" so writes Napoleon Hill in his iconic book, THINK & GROW RICH.
According to Hill, men who accumulate large fortunes, gain power and fame do so to satisfy their desire to please women. If this is so, you have to consider: If a ... Views: 1687
As a relationship therapist, I meet women every day who know they are dating the wrong guy. They are bored, they feel lonely, and their relationship is unsatisfying—yet they stay. Why? As different as the women are, their reasons are shockingly similar. Here are the top four reasons I hear over ... Views: 1748
We are so intense about our relationships that it sometimes feels like we’re in a pressure cooker! Here are a few suggestions to release the pressure, remember what is real and enjoy your relationships more.
• Have more fun. Go for a drive. Take a walk or a hike. Cook a meal together. Watch ... Views: 1324
Lisa,
I believe that a large part of my problem is that I am what you referred to as a “nightmare girl.” I don’t know how to be one of those “dream girls.” I can hold it together for anywhere from a few days to a few months, but I get sooooo incredibly insecure that I end up losing it. I ... Views: 2791
Dear Lisa,
I just got jacked around pretty good by a gal. I’m too nice, as people say, I just don’t want to play games. I haven’t done anything yet that can be construed as being a jerk about it. (Just an email venting a little, but nothing mean.)
I have never been able to play the game ... Views: 1666
If you’ve ever said something you considered to be completely innocent, only to have your wife or girlfriend flip out, you may have stumbled on to one of these taboo topics:
1) “Relax”
You may think you’re being helpful, but to us, it feels like you’re being dismissive of how we’re feeling — ... Views: 2148
You like him, but does he really like you? Is there any way to tell how well a first date is going?
1) What day of the week did your date ask you out?
It’s generally a good sign if your date asks you out with a few days notice — it means he’s thinking about you and wants to lock in weekend ... Views: 6522
Dear Lisa,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. I moved back with my parents temporarily because we were fighting a lot. While I was home, he was seeing this girl he works with. I was really upset about everything even though she said she never slept with him. She assured me that she ... Views: 4668
What is Emotional Dependency?Lydia consulted with me because her relationship with her husband, Andrew, was falling apart. Andrew had moved out, stating that he could no longer tolerate Lydia's neediness and constant pull on him to make her feel loved and secure. Now that they were separated, ... Views: 7523
I’ve written about how we can get stressed over what might happen, when we jump to conclusions. Here I’d like to focus on one variant of this situation, the one in which we can almost forecast what is going to happen when someone reacts to what we say or do and, as a result, we stop ourselves ... Views: 2291
There is a prevalent theory making the rounds, time and again, that your thoughts are what create your emotions and therefore your stress.
One of the expressions of these is what is called “Appraisal Theory”, which has been summed up as follows:
Event ==> thinking ==> Simultaneous arousal ... Views: 1835
It was 1994 when the papers were delivered to my apartment; I had just joined the ranks of 50% of the population when my wife filed for divorce. As a single father my biggest fear was that someone would come in to my ex-wife's life and that person would eventually replace me as the figurehead ... Views: 1455