Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Take a moment right now to think about your real intention when it comes to love:
Is it most important to you to get someone to love you - to get love?
Is it more important to you to be a loving person - to give love to yourself and others?At any moment, you have one of these two intentions, ... Views: 3200
Since the dawn of social networking websites, meeting new friends has been far easier now, than it was 10 years ago. But unfortunately, with the growth of technology comes the evolution of Married Personals websites, making it easier for cheating wives and husbands to prosper.
Media portrayal ... Views: 604
Have you ever felt confused when speaking with someone? He or she might be smiling but you were uncomfortable by how they were acting? Well, it might be a passive-aggressive behavior you are experiencing. Passive-aggressive behavior is a manner of interacting with others in passive ways as, ... Views: 2043
"Alcoholic" is one of those words that raises high emotions. We tend to think of an alcoholic as someone who is violent, dangerous, and self destructive. We may also visualize an alcoholic as being selfish and not caring about anyone but themself. Sometimes those stereotypes are appropriate, ... Views: 1315
A lot of relationships come with an expiration date. And when that day comes, you’d better be prepared for the best way to break up with your specific someone. It won’t be easy but it’s not something that can take care of itself either.
When breaking up, you can’t help hurting the other person ... Views: 885
“ “The only thing worse than being alone is being with the wrong person” Reuben Schmidt, 89 years old—happily married to Joyce Schmidt for 53 years.
Look around you. Do you see couples that are wonderfully happy together? Happy and joyful couples bless everyone they come in contact with. ... Views: 1423
Falling in love with love has been the subject of parody from the time of ancient Greece, to Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, to the present. The 1938 Rodgers and Hart show tune describes falling in love with love as "falling for make-believe" and "playing the fool."
Do real life people actually ... Views: 1389
No Welcome Home Made Jeremy Angry
There was no happy smile. There was no light in her eyes. There was no bear hug. There was no gasp of welcoming delight. Jeremy’s expectation of a warm and affectionate homecoming was decimated. Wasn’t it only yesterday that they had exchanged messages of ... Views: 1214
Is your beloved relationship honest, fulfilling and harmonious? Do you often have moments when deep love is flowing between your hearts? Do you wish for more depth, love and understanding?
Communication is a key to a good relationship. There are many books and workshops that model good ... Views: 1929
Snooping is probably one of the biggest mistakes one can make in a relationship. Most of us are guilty of it, although some would rather die than admit it. At one point or another, most people resort to digging through a partner’s personal effects, trying to find proof because of suspicions. ... Views: 469
Have you ever wondered how ‘that couple’ stayed together all those years? What is it they are doing right? What are the things that contribute to the success of healthy long term relationships? There are a few fundamental things that will improve the chances of a relationships success. Those ... Views: 15102
Most people would love to have "real love," yet often they have no idea what real love is. Take a moment to think about how you would define real love.
Defining love is like defining a particular color to a person who has never been able to see color - you have to feel it know what it is. ... Views: 3166
Whether you are in a long term, committed relationship or are in a new relationship, romance matters. After all, romance is what most of us are striving for. There is one thing to keep in mind though; romance and sex do not automatically happen in a relationship. In fact, most of the time ... Views: 612
Do you still define your ex in terms of your failed relationship, or do you relate to him/her strictly as "the other parent"?
How you frame your perception of your former spouse has a tremendous impact on your co-parenting relationship. The two of you may not be friends, but you’ll always be ... Views: 1980
Are you in an intimate relationship where violence is a part of your exchange? Does one or the other of you lash out physically toward the other? Do you want it to stop?
There is lots of information out there about intimate partner violence. Just google the term and today there were 4,680,000 ... Views: 1030
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Tonight, we heard the sounds of love! Over the years we have seen love, felt love, heard about love, observed love, and been in love. But tonight, we heard the sounds of love!
We heard love tonight through the magnificent sounds of the St. Louis ... Views: 3139
Relationships in a Recession – Part 1
Don’t let your relationship slide into recession
In this series of articles, I am addressing the effect that the growing recession is likely to have on a couple’s relationship, what stance to take and what action to take to prevent the slide.
In this first ... Views: 811
I am writing this from my winter home in Chacala, Nayarít, Mexico. The moon is full, hanging softly overhead in a warm tropical night sky. I can hear the ocean waves caressing the sandy beach, and mariachi music is playing in the distance. What could be more romantic?? In fact, this scenario is ... Views: 851
Could it be possible that we were lied to about love? I think so. I think we have been taught a big lie about Love. To understand the origin of the lie, we need to go back to a time, not too long ago, in a place, not so very far away. That is the time you were a small child.
In that time not ... Views: 804
When an apprentice called me to tell me his wife was thinking about leaving him, he was mystified about what more she could want from him. He worked hard, supported her so she could be a stay-at-home Mom, he mowed the lawn, and kept the oil changed in the car. He was always busy with tasks and ... Views: 3880
Are you looking for that perfect relationship, or is your relationship not quite as perfect as you want it to be?
That's because our intimate relationships are mostly based on fantasy -- a subconscious, idealized image, and a belief that a partner that matches this fantasy image will bring us ... Views: 3193
In my work as a relationship coach, I spend a lot of time on the road. (In fact, I’m writing this article in an airport right now.) Inevitably, when talking with my fellow travelers, one will mention they are in a long-distance relationship, and when they find out what I do, they all want to ... Views: 2212
Someone told me that love conquers all. Yes, that is what she said. She said Love conquers all. However, she did give me an exception. She told me that the only thing that love cannot conquer is a toothache.
Her assertion that the only thing more powerful than love is a toothache is worth ... Views: 15313
When the phone rang at the local drug store, the pharmacist was shaken to hear the booming voice of a very angry doctor on the line.
The doctor demanded to know why the pharmacist had dispensed medication to his patient completely different to what he had prescribed. Just how careless can a ... Views: 1659
If you've been around long enough, you're aware of the many things that can play havoc with domestic peace, even where the parties concerned are not short of goodwill and have the best of intentions.
High up on the list of culprits here are poor communication habits, either on their own or in ... Views: 1073
"In our disease defense system we build up huge walls to protect ourselves and then - as soon as we meet someone who will help us to repeat our patterns of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and/or deprivation - we lower the drawbridge and invite them in. We, in our Codependence, have radar systems ... Views: 1746
I have been playing with the idea that we create all of our relationships based on the needs they fill. It is not a very romantic notion, but I invite you to read, ponder with me, and let me know what you think. I am thinking of all relationships—romances, friendships, family, strangers, with ... Views: 683
Last night those words echoed through my dream state and when I awoke this morning I was determined to remember them and put the message to use. As a divinely human being and humanly divine being, I take them to heart. In this moment, they are more than a spiritual directive. They are a gateway ... Views: 698
Clothes are a part of a person’s individuality. What a person wears usually speaks volumes about his/her personality. Often, it is an essential factor in the dating game. The majority of the first impression a person creates is largely based on how the one looks—especially on the clothing style. ... Views: 1295
*Sylvia’s husband had a rule: If you can’t be home right after work, you had to call. When she rushed a co-worker to the hospital, in the confusion, Sylvia called about thirty minutes after she was due home. When she did phone home, he accused her of cheating on her and lying. The moment she ... Views: 4340
People who are making the change to a conscious and spiritually-driven life often discover that they are yoked to someone who is not prepared to come along on that journey. The partner is mired in his or her own negative thoughts and emotions, and meets any topic of spiritual enlightenment, ... Views: 1612
A masculine man loves to become aware of a need and fill it. That’s why they love to fix things, make things “better” for you when you are upset, and put a lot of focus on their work.
Many men only put attention on what is directly and specifically needed, which is why many bright, confident, ... Views: 767
Definition of Honest: truthful; trustworthy; genuine; open
Soooo, are you an honest person?
Your response is likely, “Yes.” However, if we look deeper in our lives, we may find our response is not totally true. And if we are really honest with ourselves, we may find that our lack of ... Views: 1825
Recently, we traveled to Southern Alberta to visit with Carol’s side of the family. Are they in-laws, out-laws, or maybe some of both? Regardless, I love them all.
As we approached our destination, we chatted about our expectations of how the landscape would look, based upon our memories. ... Views: 926
Spring is in the air. It is a time of new life. There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb.
Rhubarb? The darned stuff is the first thing to show up in the garden. For those of you who don’t know about rhubarb, it grows from a huge root-ball under the soil. A mass of stalks ... Views: 1554
Yahoo, it’s spring! It’s a great time to focus on the garden – and relationships. They are the same, aren’t they?
Imagine this…
As the grass began to grow, I knew it was time to connect with nature and get our garden ready for another productive year.
It was fun to work in the garden ... Views: 2612
If you want to create a working, supportive relationship with another, it is imperative that you be willing to be complete in the relationship you have with your parents. The dictionary defines complete as "lacking no component part; full; whole; entire." But what does being incomplete with your ... Views: 2179
When we embark ourselves in marriage, we embark ourselves in the most meaningful partnership of our lives.
Like all relationships, this partnership requires a continuous and mutual exchange of energy and, because of the nature and depth of emotions involved, communication and choices based on ... Views: 3813
In my work with couples, I often find a lack of trust at the root of many challenges they report.
Trust is a Verb
We have been taught to believe trust is a commodity to be earned by others. Once they have passed certain tests, then we feel safe to extend our trust. I would like to entertain ... Views: 5284
How important is physical compatibility in relationships? Well, it depends on the couple. For some people their physicality is of utmost importance to them. When it is, they often want their partner to engage in many of their activities with them. For some couples the physical nature of their ... Views: 12628
Turning Up Your Man Magnet! By Suzanne Blake, PCC
As a relationship coach, when I first meet with women who haven't been dating for a while, most of them use the same excuse for not getting out there. They all tell me that they have to lose five to twenty pounds before they feel they are ... Views: 1050
Ghost of Christmas Past
This is a story about learning to forgive.
The man I divorced 25 years ago, is still in my life: the father of my daughters, the grandfather of my grandchildren. I see his face in their features. I see his mannerisms in their smiles and gestures. My grandson looks ... Views: 782
The Seven Sacred Steps are very powerful tools to conjure the energy of extraordinary loving for yourself, your partner and others. They first must used to give yourself - body mind and spirit the great treasure of extraordinarily loving yourself.
The first sacred step is to Stand as a ... Views: 2902
What does it mean to tell someone “I love you”? How many times have people said that to you in your lifetime? The words are great to hear. They make us feel all warm and mushy inside. Of course, there are different kinds of love. Our minister may say “I love you” but it means something ... Views: 1290
The pain of not being heard, or betrayed, lied to or criticized are examples of experiences from our past that become sensitivities we bring into our present relationships. We become vigilant to these behaviors in others, and it takes only a hint of the original betrayal to cause a reaction. ... Views: 597
The concept of differentiation is central to the work I do with couples. In this article I provide a couple of definitions and identify the skills needed for differentiation, and some of the ways couples avoid doing this work in their relationships.
Differentiation is the active, ongoing ... Views: 668
Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downturn? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit:
1. Back to Basics. View this as an ...Is ... Views: 2170
No matter how young or old you are, or how hard things have been, it’s never too late to review what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s easy to lose focus on what you really want due to the daily demands of life. However, there’s always a way to look at your life differently, to ... Views: 4459
When you get dumped next the negative feelings start coming in to your mind. You may become suicidal or you can end up being all alone by yourself. You may end your entire social circle by not going out and not answering phone calls. This condition of depression is very painful. You may not feel ... Views: 654
There are many reasons why people are being dumped. You would never know if a relationship can last as it may look fine at the moment. But whatever may be the reason, you need to get over the bad experience as soon as you can. Life presents its own challenges to face in different forms. This is ... Views: 5537