Self-Esteem and Self Confidence Articles

At the beginning of the year I spoke about a time in my life when I was speaking to Vijay Rana, an integral therapist, about projection. This article was titled,’ “There Is A Reason Why We Project Our Issues Onto Others!” In this article I said that we also spoke about repetition compulsion but that I would go into that at another time. So, without further ado, I going to talk about the conversation that I had in 2015/16 with Vijay around this topic. Trapped

What someone may find, that’s if they were to take a step back and to reflect on their life, is that there are moments when they end up feeling completely overwhelmed by how they feel. When this takes place, it could seem as though they have absolutely no reason to feel as they do. However, someone could experience life this way and not take a step back and reflect on what is going on. It could be said that it won’t be much of a surprise if this takes place, considering how intense these moments are going to be. Too Much To Handle

The Pretender Put up your hand if you ever feel like a fraud. A fake? A phoney? A pretender? Me too. Even in the middle of some (relative) success, I have often felt not ‘something’ enough. Not smart enough. Qualified enough. Experienced enough. Lean enough. Young enough. Old enough. Funny enough. Academic enough. In short; not good enough. A Literary Fraud Despite being a successful blogger with lots of subscribers and a large readership, I have often felt like a literar

Along with depression, anxiety is one of the most common mental, as well as emotional and physical, problems in today’s world. Emotional and physical was used above as both depression and anxiety is not always just a mental problem. Like depression, anxiety is often something that affects someone’s whole being, not merely their mind. So if someone doesn’t struggle with anxiety, there is a strong chance that they know someone who does. A Lot of Exposure

Even though someone has the desire to achieve something it doesn’t mean that they won’t also do things to hold themselves back. The trouble is that they might not be aware of the things that they are doing to undermine themselves. As a result of this, they can end up blaming other people for how their life is going and/or see themselves as a victim. It is then not that they are holding themselves back; it is that someone or something out there is holding them back. Releasing the Tension

Around ten years ago, I would add something called cacao to some of the drinks that I would make. This was a time when I would usually have an oat and milk smoothie for my breakfast and adding cacao would give me a break from the usual taste. The years went by and I stopped having this combination for breakfast and I stopped using Cacao. This all changed a few years ago when I started to put cacao in water and coconut milk and have it as a hot drink. A Powerful Experience

Majority of the people on this planet have managed to go on with their lives fearing other people’s judgment and image of them.rn rnIf I’m being honest, this was a huge problem in my life when I was that much younger. I always wanted people to like me, and when someone did show any dislike or disdain toward me it had a really bad affect on me and it massively shook my confidence. Luckily as I got older I began to look at these situations from a completely different perspe

We all know the power of a scope if you need to focus in on a target and hit it. We all need to develop and truly understand the power of the human mind’s scope. All of us have inside of us the potential to be as powerful as the most high-tech laser scope available today. A scope is designed to focus in on a target without getting distracted or losing focus in order to hit its target right on the bull’s eye. Now remember that all mechanical scopes are programmed by human tech

If someone’s life is not how they want it to be, they could end up reaching out for exte al support. Naturally, this is going to be far better than simply tolerating what is going on and suffering in silence. This could be a time when they reach out for the support of a therapist or healer. One could have mental and emotional challenges and/or their relationships might not be going in the right direction. The Next Step

If someone had a traumatic childhood, they may be in a very bad way now that they are an adult. Their early years would then have been incredibly difficult and now that they are an adult their life won’t be much better. What this could mean is that this was a time in their life when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. Either way, this would have been a time in their life when they were worn down, not built up. Life Carried On

It has been said that it is not just someone’s thoughts that influence their reality; it is also their feelings. Therefore, it is going to be essential for them to pay attention to what is taking place in their mind, along with what is going on in their body, and to make sure that they are not undermining themselves.

Earlier on I caught up with my friend, Wain Gordon, and we touched upon a number of topics. One thing that I spoke about was a how-to guide that I had put together to assist others in finding their purpose. He asked me a few questions about this and then he said that one of the ways that someone can get closer to their purpose is by looking into what comes naturally to them. After this, he went onto to say that some people are good listeners. A Natural Ability

nHow we talk to ourselves or our inner dialogue, greatly effects how we feel about ourselves, our self-esteem and self-worth. Often we are unaware of our inner dialogue because it becomes so automatic that we don't even realize it's there. When you begin to pay attention closely and listen for it, you will become aware of your thoughts. This gives us the chance to change our thoughts to ones that help instead of harm us. n n 7 Things You Can Do To Improve self-esteem n n1. Id

Now, although someone will have a head and a body, it doesn’t mean that they will find it easy to connect to what is taking place in their body. This doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to connect to the sensations in their body; no, what it means is that it can be hard for them to connect to how they feel. In general, it could seem as though they are emotionally dead and simply don’t have emotions. As a result of this, they could typically feel numb and even ‘dead’ inside, with this being how they have been for as long as they can remember. Emotionally Flat

1. Change Your Outfit Change Your OutlooknBy dressing in what makes you feel more confident, studies show your self-assurance will increase.nn2. Pay YourselfnKeep a jar in a handy place and pay yourself to pay attention to your words. When you hear yourself say the words, “I can’t”, “I’m fat”, “I’m a loser” or anything negative put in a quarter. You will break the habit of “negative self speak”.nn3. Play DatenG

A number of weeks ago I watched “A Dangerous Method” and this was about a stage of Carl Jung’s life. Watching this film gave me the urge to find out more about him and since that time, a number of his quotes have caught my attention. One that has stood out is, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls.” My take on this is that he was saying that people will do everything that they can to avoid their own pain. The Same Purpose

If someone was abused during their early years, they may find that it is not possible for them to put the past behind them. A number of decades may have passed since that time in their life, but it could be as if very little time has passed. And although their caregivers didn’t treat them well, they may still look towards these people to love them. This is not to say that this will happen directly, as it is likely to be something that takes place indirectly. For Example

Nowadays, it is not uncommon to hear about how oppressed certain people are, with this being something that is often spoken about on social media and in the mainstream media. This is often seen as something that primarily affects minorities and women. Therefore, white men are in a very privileged position, as there is absolutely nothing holding them back in life. In fact, white men are often portrayed as the ones who are holding everyone else back. A Way of life

Success gurus and self-made millionaires routinely preach the mantra that “Your thoughts become habits, your habits become your reality.” They suggest that knowing your purpose and living with passion is an unstoppable recipe for success. Once you’ve got it you’ll never turn back. n nWell, of course they aren’t wrong. Positive thinking IS very powerful. n nBut, why isn’t what they teach working for the vast majority of people? Statistics de

Naturally, someone’s life is going to be far more fulfilling if the people in their life are able to respect their boundaries. Having friends, family members and even a partner who can do this is going to make it easier for them to express themselves. When this takes place, these people will probably realise that one, along with every other human being on the planet, is not an extension of them. It is then not going to be right for them to tell one how they should live their life or what they should be doing in each moment of it. Freedom

Although some people feel safe in their body and as though they deserve to exist, there are others that don’t experience life in this way. However, regardless of whether someone fits into the first category or the second, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of it. Yet, even if someone is not consciously aware of this, it is still going to have a big influence on their life. How they experience life can just be seen as normal, and if this is a good thing or a bad thing will all depend on what their life is like. The First Experience

Self confidence is akin to a tool. It provides you with a sense of certainty, and helps you to manage your fears. Self confidence is usually built up through a history of positive experiences, and with an improved sense of self confidence you will find that your esteem and mental state will be greatly improved as well. nnnIf you find yourself unable to summon up courage to voice your own opinion, or to tell someone to back off when you need to, then it is probably a sign that

Listening Builds Self-EsteemnnIt has been said that, "Rapt attention is the highest form of flattery." When you listen intently to another person and it is clear that you genuinely care about what that other person is saying, his or her self-esteem goes up. His or her feeling of personal value increases. He or she feels more worthwhile and important as a human being. You can actually make another person feel terrific about himself or herself by listening in a warm, genuine, c

A Chinese proverb states, “words are like water, real action is gold.” Several people say that knowledge is power. But I say knowledge that is used is power. Applied knowledge is truly what is all about. Schools should also need to learn this as well. Do you think winners always win? No—but they always have the guts to do it. They may fall, but they get up. They learn the lesson and they move on. And so it can also be translated to your parenting skills. Get your kids t

What someone could find is that when they look back on their day or their week, there are a number of things that they wished they had done. They could spend hours wondering why they didn’t do something and beat themselves up in the process. The months are then going to go by and one is not only going to punish themselves for what they haven’t done and to feel bad, they are also going to miss out on a lot of things. For their life to change, they will need to do something about what is going on. An Important Question

If you are someone who has “failed” at something in the past and you are now struggling with the negative self-talk generated by these memories, this article is for you. If you have bought into the unconscious trap of how these memories of failure are useful to you then consider this question. If these negative memories are useful as a learning experience… then why do they generate feelings of low self-worth and esteem when you think about them? A lot of clients ask me,

If one was to engage in the grieving process, it could show that they have lost someone in their adult life. Then again, what it could illustrate is that their childhood was a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met. Consequently, one is going to be grieving a time in their life when they didn’t get the love and guidance that they desperately needed. It won’t matter how many years have passed since this time in their life as coming to terms with the fact that these needs won’t be met can be similar to coming to terms with the fact that a loved one won’t ever be coming back.

It would be easy to believe that the people who are emotionally unavailable are single and the ones who aren’t are in a relationship. Or, if someone is emotionally available and single, it could just show that they are taking a break after going through a breakup, for instance. This is then typically going to be something that is very black and white. However, while it may seem as though this is the case, this outlook would have very little to do with how things actually are. An Illusion

When I was reading ‘The Integrity Of Personality’ by Anthony Storr, there were a lot of things that stood out. This is a book that came out a few decades ago, but it is full of great information. And one of the things that stood out was when he basically said that a therapist can’t make a client do anything. He said that when someone is ready to behave in a certain way, they will, and that this is not something that can be forced. The Only Reason

If someone was asked if they would rather feel good or bad, they would probably choose the former. This would make complete sense as it is far better to feel good than it is to feel bad. Nonetheless, although this is what they are likely to say, it doesn’t mean that this is what typically takes place. If they were to take a step back and to reflect on their life, they may find that they spend a lot of time experiencing ‘negative’ feelings. A Frustrating Existence

Every day of life, everyone draws upon what researchers call the innate capacity for overcoming adversity: Resiliency. When dealing life's small hassles, such as getting stuck in a traffic jam or diffusing an argument with a coworker, or making the necessary arrangements to take care of a suddenly sick child, adults draw upon this internal capacity for resiliency. Children do this when they struggle through a difficult math lesson, figure out a way to get home when they miss the bus, or cope with an irritable parent.

Imagine a water pitcher filled to almost overflowing. Now, see yourself pouring a glass of water from that pitcher. Make sure the glass, like the pitcher, is full. The water pitcher represents what I like to call the fountain of self-esteem. The glass of water represents you. From the time you were born you came here full of self-esteem. The problem, however, is that you probably didn't stay that way. What happened? Life! And with each life-defining event such as graduating f

Although some men are able to form healthy relationships with women, there are others that are unable to do so. There are, of course, a numbers of reasons as to why this is. For those that are unable to do so, it can be because they lack confidence or are emotionally disconnected. Then again, it can be because they have a fear of intimacy and don’t feel comfortable getting close to a woman. Another Reason

As human beings, it’s our inherent yet dire desire to evolve and interact with the community and environment. As we grow from childhood, we learn new things and are exposed to new ideas that shape our perception of the world. Most of our lives, we chase intrinsic pleasures like happiness, purpose, and a life that brings us value. We keep trying to develop through a variety of resources to become better at who we are, how we live, and how we bring value to the lives of the o

Pretty much any self help book you can buy will stress the importance of having a positive mental attitude to life if you wish you achieve ultimate success.nnThink of the grand-daddy of them all, “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, still selling well today, despite being first published long ago, back in the fifties. The theme of that book has been picked up by numerous self improvement books and courses, and indeed it is a pre-requisite for success.

If you want to make someone think about something, you don't simply repeat the idea to them. You do repeat it, but not in a direct way. When you want to convince someone with something or when you want someone to think about something, you give them a reason to think about it. When you want to make someone believe, you simply touch their hearts and what would make them believe.rnThere is a trick that people have used all along, from the beginning of humanity and until this ve

One way of looking at the current age would be to describe it as the age of impulsivity. Unlike the past, there is less pressure on people to keep things in and to control their thoughts and feelings. Nowadays, people are often encouraged to express how they feel and to allow their inner world to control them. In a way, it is as though society has gone from one extreme to the other. One Extreme

There are a number of things that make life easier to handle on this planet, and being able to laugh is one of them. This ability serves a similar purpose to oil; it allows life to flow that little bit easier. Without oil, a machine would soon end up seizing up, but while the world probably wouldn’t come to a standstill without laughter, it certainly wouldn’t be the same. Instead, it would be like living a life that is in black and white. A Gloss

When it comes to someone’s needs, these are one of the things that allow them to have their own experience on this earth. This is not to say that they, unlike others, are the only ones with needs; it is that in each moment they will have their own set of needs. At times, what they need will be the same thing as what another person needs; while at others, what they need will be totally different to what another person needs. Having this connection to their needs, and being able to fulfil them on a regular basis, is going to have a positive effect on their life. Integrated

When I was speaking to Ben Ralston a number of weeks ago, he mentioned something that really made me think. Ben is a therapist and trainer of therapists, healer, advanced Sivananda Yoga teacher, and writer. We were talking about the self-image and he ended up touching upon a book that he had been reading. I can’t remember what this book was called, but I can remember why he mentioned it. A Powerful Sentence

As a result of being abused and/or neglected as a child, someone may find it hard to fully show up in life. What could be normal is for them to hide when they are around others or to hide away from others. Still, regardless of what takes place, the outcome will be the same. If they do hide around others, other people won’t know who they really are and, if they hide away from others, other people certainly won’t get the chance to know them. Two Ways

Earlier on I was waiting in line for something and the person in front of me asked the cashier a question. They didn’t receive an answer, though, and this made them turn to me and say that they were being ignored. A few seconds later, this person asked the cashier the same question and once again, they didn’t get a response. And just like before, they looked at me and said that they were being ignored. Black and white

It could be said that everyone on this planet has a part of them that provides them with aggression. This part of someone will provide them with energy, drive, enthusiasm and the ability to stand their ground. Of course, it can also be something that can cause them to cause destruction, not only to others but to themselves. Nevertheless, when this takes place, it is likely to show that something isn’t right. A Metaphor

In recent years, a lot has been said about the importance of being present and living in the moment. Numerous books have been written about it and there have even been programs on TV that go into this. This surely shows that this is something that is a challenge for a lot of people; if this wasn’t the case, there would be no reason for this to be given so much attention. When someone is present and in the moment, they are going to be firmly rooted in their body. Here, Now

If one was to come across someone that had a deeper understanding of something, it doesn’t mean that they would end up putting this person on a pedestal. As a result of this, the other person will be seen as knowledgeable but one won’t perceive them as being better than they themselves are. Ultimately, one is still going to see this person as a fallible human being; not someone who is more-than-human. One is then going to have a balanced outlook and they will continue to think for themselves. Playing Their Part

When someone starts to spend time with another person, they might not even think about trying to control what they can or can’t do. In fact, this could be the last thing that is on their mind. What could primarily interest them is getting to know the other person and enjoying the time that they spend with them. At this stage, it might be clear to them that they are two separate people. The Next Phase

In a relationship, it is not uncommon for one person to be logical and the other to be emotional. It can then seem as though one person provides what the other is lacking, thereby balancing each other out. By themselves they are out of balance, but together, they end up becoming the ultimate team. Perhaps one of them has a job where they primarily use their left brain, while the other has a job where they primarily use their right brain. Two Parts

Over the years, numerous people have said that the world would be a far better place if it was no longer run men. In their eyes, a world run by women would lead to a world that is far better for everyone. When someone has this view, they can see men as being one way and women as being another way. It can be as though men are aggressive, violent, competitive and destructive, whilst women are empathetic, harmonious, cooperative and constructive. The Obvious Solution

Question: I have studied numerous spirituality and all sorts of self help across the board. My number one thing I still struggle with is insecurity and confidence. On a spiritual standpoint; I believe confidence comes from believing in yourself- knowing, that your capable of doing things..but in order to believe in oneself you need experience to have the belief???? I get torn because I take chances, step out of my comfort zone and do things to push myself; but then become rel