Lets talk little bit of body language, and how it is connected to your attitude and confidence. We all know, that people communicate with each other on multiple levels. Words (what we say), is just 7% of our communication when we communicate, the majority of communication is done with body language, vocal tones, vocal pitch, movement, and gestures. When I say body language, I mean: pitch of voice, tonality, speed, how you walk, the way you carry yourself through the world, having eye contact, how fast you move (hands… etc), shoulders, chest... You may ask why body language is so important. First, because it is how we sub- communicate with others.
This sub communication is even more important that ever before, because society created a link between our actions, and how people feel. For example when you are in room, and you feel really nervous, everyone in the room will pick up that you are nervous, by your actions, tonality, speed of your movements... Such things are really obvious, even for kids... you can see when somebody is sad, happy, excited, honest, angry. Look at somebody when he foot is moving up and down. The guy who can't look anybody in the eyes. Somebody who is hunched over, with her feet together and she trying to not be noticed at all.
Now, we can all find lots of info about other people by their body language, and find info about females too, the outgoing girl or woman, she can tell you a zillion things about you, just by your image… the way you move etc. Let me quote my girlfriend here: “I can see if a guy is good in bed, just by the way he walks.” That is so true. They can tell everything about you just by the way you look. It comes from experience, of all those years of guys hitting on them.
If you go out dressed like you do not care at all and look like some poor guy. Well you probably do not care and are poor ... also, if you go out dressed as a money guy, you probably are a Money guy. As for the woman, this screening by looks and body language is a self-defense mechanism. She really doesn’t want to hook up with some Low-self-esteem loser, or some boring guy who doesn’t know how to give her some fun in her boring life. So they screen you, and try to find out as many things about you as possible in a short period of time.
Imagine, if you are a HOT girl, would you give 30 minutes of your time to some boring geek?? No, you would give him 30 seconds and then the "F#*& off" line.
This is because she already knows that he is a boring, lame-ass guy. But what if some super-ultra confident guy, who is well dressed, comes into a room, walks slowly towards a hot girl with a smile on his face, and starts a conversation with a girl... would she reject him??
What if that same boring geek, comes into room, dressed like money, with full confidence, and alpha, relaxed body language... would it make any difference to success?? No...
Now let me ask you who the guys who are really confident in our society are, with an attitude larger then life?? Who are they?? Rockstars, company directors, successful managers, Doctors, rich kids.... etc.
Now, take a look how they walk, how they sit, how they speak... you'll notice something really interesting. They are totally calm, like they control TIME, they are not in hurry, the way they move, how they speak, they radiate with that super-confidence.
Lets take a look what are most common mistakes are when somebody tries to pick up a girl:
• Talking too fast (to say as much things in shortest period of time)
• Talking too much (to hide your inner state (uncomfortable))
• Not knowing what to say next
• Drinking (too become comfortable)
• Asking too many questions (you want to create rapport too soon, as she doesn’t wants you at all) she knows its cause just the way she looks
• Body language wrong (hands connected, foots too close, shoulders down, leaning in)
• Buying her drinks (trying to impress her, or even worst, get her drunk)
• Not being comfortable talking with strangers
Now, all this, does it radiate with any confidence??? Hell no!! Take a look, every action here radiates with INSECURITY!!
Ok, let’s correct that body language together, here is list of things that you must FIX…
• Keep hands out of pockets.
• Stand with feet wider apart. (Not This II but more like this I I)
• Don't swing around with your hands when you walk.
• Never look at the floor (down) when you walk (look above horizon)
• Expose your chest
• Shoulders up (in relaxed way)
• When you walk, walk slowly, bigger steps, but slow.
• Use lot of space no matter where you are, because it radiates with confidence...
• Don't dress in too many dark colors (just when you want to contrast with something).
• Don't be afraid to go into people’s personal space. Personal space is society bull. It doesn't exist!! If you if give a , its going to exist -- otherwise it won’t!
• Always lean out… trust me, when you lean out, people around you will start to lean in to hear you.
• Touch people when you talk with them (non-sexual) because you must create conversation on all levels! Not just verbal. (Later she is going to be used to your touch, and that is perfect for the pre-sex stage!)
• All your body language must be in same speed. That means you can’t walk slowly, move with confidence, and then talk fast, like Bart Simpson!!
• It must be at the same speed, otherwise they will tell you that you are 'trying to be cool' (cause you are sending different messages on different levels... so you are not CONGURANT (he is lying))
One more really important thing, my friend would tell you "Pick-Up doesn't start when you approach her, it starts when you WAKE UP in morning!" and that's so true!
A different subject is attraction:
In order to attract a girl or woman, you must first understand why and how they think. Why we have an effect like Attraction, and why and when it happens.
The easiest way to understand and explain this, is something known as 'Switches theory’. You know those on/off switches you have in your house for electricity? Now imagine 15 of those on one box. That’s how our minds are... everything we have in our minds are switches -- Women would have switches such as "Is he attractive? ,Is he Good at sex? "Off On.
Every girl out there has a different set of switches, cause it really depends on their culture, their childhood, their beliefs and their age, plus few other minor things...
But there are some common switches you must turn ON to all girls out there:
--He must be a challenge --Alpha --Interesting --Unpredictable --Good average looking --Not needy --Is he good at sex? --Does he have a sense for humor? --Rapport --Comfort --Trust
Now, those switches can be either ON or OFF, there is no value in-between... for geeks, it’s all off
What happens when you switch on most of those switches?? Wow... she starts to be interested in me... actually... she starts to show IOIs (indication of interest). That reaction is totally normal -- she meets a guy, and this guy is funny, good looking, interesting, romantic, not needy... etc. of course she is interested in getting to know him better (read: sleeping with him).
Switching on those switches is also 'demonstrating personality'. You can do it by stories, routines, jokes or actions...
You can tell stories where you were romantic, or you go in front of the bar to watch a sunset... It doesn’t matter, as long as the 'he is romantic' switch is ON.
Every story or routine you have in your arsenal is saying something to her (switching on some switches.) When designing routines and stories, first take a look what do you want to convey (that you are not already conveying with your looks, and body language.)
The easiest way to switch On lot of switches is Body language & the way you behave, dress...
Lets take a look at me for example. If you never saw the way I look, take a look my web page photo here...
http://www.playboylifestyle.net/glavna1.jpg (Cut and paste into your browser)
Okay, lets analyze together... what do you think about this guy just from this photo? Here is what others have said:
• He has lot of confidence
• He looks like some bad boy or really adventurous guy
• Good looking (average)
• He is drinking expensive cocktails, so probably he has some money…
• Probably sex is good with him
• Alpha, he doesn’t worry what others think. (leg on table)
• Lets also say unpredictable, cause he doesn’t look like some predictable guy...
• Does he look needy?? hmmm... not sure...
Ok, guys, you get my point... I switched On like 10 switches just by the way I look and behave. Ok switches I haven’t flipped yet:
I don’t have trust, rapport, I am not romantic, interesting... that’s it!!!!
That means 5 stories for 5 more switches. That’s like 5 X 5 minutes = 25 minutes to get a girl. Let’s say 35 minutes...
Of course you can convey all those things through conversation, and that's fine. But it will take 10X longer! This way it works for me, and I am happy.
Badboy is the online name of the president of Badboylifestyle a company that teaches men how to be confident and pick up women. Their website is www.badboylifestyle.com