The secret to happiness? It;'s your One Thing.
by Laura Lallone

What's the Secret to Life? It's your One Thing.

"One thing. Just one thing."

Has a quote ever stuck with you for years? You know, from a movie, a song, a book? I bet you could come up with a few. If you're like me, you may even have a whole mental database of quotes that apply in different situations.

"One thing. Just one thing." I can't get this quote out of my head. It's from the movie "City Slickers”. Amazon.com describes the movie as "Three middle-age buddies (Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby) facing personal crises decide to sign up for a two-week cattle run for a change of pace. The trail proves a tougher place than anyone thought, and the boss (Jack Palance) is a grizzled taskmaster who doesn't cotton to tenderfoot urbanites."

Along the trail Jack Palance asks Billy Crystal, "Do you know what the secret of life is?"

Crystal responds, "No, what?"

Palance holds up his gloved index finger and says "This".

Crystal jokes, "Your finger?"

Palance says, "One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don't mean (bleep)!"

Crystal asks, "That's great, but what's the one thing?"

Then Palance says in a knowing way, "That's what you've gotta figure out".

What does this mean for you? What is your "one thing"?

About three years ago, my friend Phil Han and I engaged in a philosophical discussion over Curly's quote. Can the one thing change over time? In every situation? Is it something profound or something incredibly simple? What if I never figure it out? What is my one thing, Curly?!?!?!?!

The more I look at this question, the simpler my answer becomes. With the information and resources I have right now, I believe my underlying "one thing" is simply a happy life with deep loving relationships. That's it. Underneath many of the "wants" in my life, the motivation is the same - a happy, fun life with loving relationships. My "one thing".

Over the past several years of exploring this topic, I've learned five big lessons.

1. My "one thing" is not something that I set out to do or achieve. It's a way of being. For example: My "one thing" isn't: "Earn $100,000 a year in a job I love where I help people." This may be a fine intention or goal, but it's finite and secondary.

2. My "one thing" has been there all along. Picturing myself as a little kid, I see how important love and connection was to me. The more I dig at my "one thing" the closer I get to the energy and motivation that I had as a kid.

3. It constantly evolves. I'm sure my perspective will be very different 10 years, 1 year or even 1 month from now. (Being human and all.) Sometimes it's really clear and sometimes it's not.

4. It can be a challenge when I'm frustrated, tired, hungry, angry or stressed to focus on my "one thing". And that's exactly what I need. Shifting the focus to my "one thing" in these challenging moments has the power to wake me up and help me remember what's really important to me.

5. My "one thing" is the same for my work as it is for the rest of my life. Because of this, focusing on my "one thing" can be incredibly balancing.

That's enough about me. What about you? What is your "one thing"? Underneath everything, what's most important to you?

Taking Action: Digging for Gold

You already may have some pretty good ideas about your "one thing". Maybe you've been poking around at this topic for years or maybe this is really new for you. Wherever you are is a perfect place to start. Here are some ways to dig a little deeper and explore the "one thing" for yourself.

1. Consider the diaglogue from "City Slickers". What questions do you have? What's your first instinct about the "one thing"? Does the "one thing" change for you in each moment or over time? Look back on your life from the present to your earliest memory. What's motivated you? What themes do you notice?

2. Become an observer to yourself in your life right now. What's most important? What's your core motivation? What's your "one thing"?

3. Through meditation or creative expression like writing or drawing, explore what stops or blocks you from being in the flow with your "one thing"? What's the outcome when you're not connected to your "one thing"?

4. Think of a time when you felt very balanced and in the flow. How were you being? What was your "one thing" then? How were you responding to the circumstances around you?

5. You know what works for you better than anyone. Create your own way of exploring this question. What's meaningful for you? I'd love to hear about your experience.

Copyright Shicka Boom Inc. 2004 unless otherwise indicated.


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