The Body Doesn't Lie

By Nili Raam, Phd

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It isn’t easy for a woman, especially if she is in love with a man of the lying variety, to realize that he is leading her up the garden path. In most cases, there are no unmistakable signs, although the woman’s friends and relatives will hotly claim: “We told you so”. There are certain non-verbal indicators that may be helpful, but judgment should definitely not be passed on the basis of a single indicator.

The hands, face and legs are our great betrayers, as being the body parts that drop the major hints. It is very difficult to control the movement of every one of them, and especially the movement of all three together. The common denominator of all indicators of lying is concealment. It includes concealment of the gaze, the eyes or the mouth, concealment of the hands, concealment of the feet, or keeping them off the ground. Another group of secondary indicators is where the subject shows visible signs of tension or nervousness or seems keyed up, a mental state frequently accompanying the telling of a lie. The deceiving male is basically in an evasion mode, and his body, too, acts evasively. He evades eye contact, physical contact, does not turn his body completely toward the woman when he is lying to her, and evades mental and physical openness.

A person who is at peace with himself and his position tends to place the soles of his feet on the ground when seated. The deceiving man is tensed up and in a state of evasion, and he expresses this with his feet. Postures in which only the heels, toes or sides of the feet touch the ground are fairly frequent, and we often find a posture in which one foot is placed upon and covers the other.

A person’s discomfort with his lies will express itself in generally restiveness. He fidgets restlessly on his chair, touching his nose or lips, or his eyes or ears, while giving voice to the lie.

Liars, it transpires, tend to cross arms and legs more frequently. This limb crossing constitutes a defense, in which the liar feels that both he and his lie are less exposed. This point is particularly valid where the hands are concerned. Fully revealed and open hands attest to mental openness; and their incautious use is liable to betray the lie. Therefore the liar will tend to conceal his hands one inside the other, thrust them into his pockets or even sit on them.

Touching oneself, especially on the nose, mouth or eyes, is especially significant, as it points to a certain emotional difficulty. Such signs may relate to a sense of embarrassment, mental discomfort or tension that an individual feels when he lies. Sometimes self-touching may be an attempt at self-encouragement and support.

In highly excited states, people tend to pinch the back of their hand, as if to refuse to allow themselves to be drawn into the excitement; or even as an expression of guilt in connection with a lie. The significance of biting one’s hand or fingernails is similar, except that this may also be an expression of frustration or anger.

Liars often make exaggerated use of overemphatic signals of frankness, such as: hand on heart, vehement oaths and excessive demonstrations of feeling. When President Clinton stated, very definitely: “I did not have sex with that woman” (Monica Lewinksy, of course), he overdid the emphasis on anger and seriousness in this statement, placing it in the category of overkill, which is fairly typical of liars (“Cross my heart and hope to die”). The deceiving male is no exception to this rule: he indulges extensively in grandiloquence, sometimes overemphasizing his feelings as badly as a ham actor, and resorting to gestures such as oaths of loyalty.

Men who are seasoned con artists where women are concerned are aware of the efficacy of touch in softening up their quarry. They can captivate her heart by means of a gentle, supportive, considerate and caressing touch. Such men are highly skilled in the use of the kinds of touch that look and feel like a woman’s most romantic fantasies. (When they fail to obtain whatever it is they are after from the woman, however, this veneer will probably start to crack).

Liars almost universally experience three psychological conditions:

1. Fear, misgivings, anxiety;
2. A strong desire to conceal the lie;
3. Internal conflict.

The intensity of each of these feelings depends on what he stands to lose if the truth is found out, and also on his moral conscientiousness level.

In this state of mind, the emotions will frequently leak, finding expression in micro-movements. The more of a conscience the liar has, the more anxious and the less skilled he will be – and the more indicators he will give.

A brief guide to spotting lie-indicators

Fear indicators:

• Facial or palmar sweating

• Uneven breathing.

• Dry mouth and throat (lip-licking, frequent sipping of a drink, swallowing).

• Tongue tripping.

• Throat clearing and coughing.

• Blushing and turning pale.

• Fiddling with some object (doodling, fingering).

• Rigid body, stiff posture.

• Eyes darting about or strong blinking.

Camouflage or concealment indicators:

• Any signs attesting to mental planning processes;

• Stiff, expressionless face (an attempt to avoid giving facial expression to emotions);

• A smile that is out of place, too prolonged or that comes and goes suddenly;

• Concealment of the side of the mouth, nose-touching;

• Cleansing the sides of the mouth;

• Avoidance of eye contact, or the use of a hypnotic gaze, as if trying to demonstrate honesty.

Internal conflict indicators:

• Slight facial twitching, especially on one side of the mouth, or in the cheeks or eyelids;

• Intense blinking, the lifting of one eyebrow;

• Slight shoulder shaking, a sort of quick and minute shrug.

• Nose wrinkling, as when expressing disgust;

• Change of tone when speaking: the voice drops and becomes softer as the lie is uttered;

• Involuntary shaking of the hands, as if to be rid of the lie.

A person who is telling lies is usually experiencing some degree of mental stress, due to the gap between what he is saying and what he knows to be true. For this reason, certain tension and stress indicators may also be lie indicators. Indeed, almost any lie will betray indicators of stress or nervousness that reinforce the more obvious cues of lying, and confirming suspicions of deception. However, one should not conclude that a persona is lying solely on the basis of signs of stress and nervousness – he may simply be feeling pressured, emotional or nervous; which is why the differences must be carefully studied.

Characteristic signs of nervousness, stress or disquiet not necessarily attesting that the subject is lying:

• Finger drumming;

• Clasping and unclasping one’s hands;

• Hand wringing

• Voice tremors

• Nervous giggling;

• Swallowing, lip licking

Fallacies and facts about liars

Beware of prejudices, especially fallacies.

Fallacy: the liar does not look you in the eye;
Fact: the prevailing cliché has it that liars don’t look you in the eye. Liars are well aware of this, and therefore take pains to gaze straight into your eyes, as if to compensate for such expectations. Your average liar will make sure to look his interlocutor straight in the eye, as if trying to hypnotize him, especially when he gets to the problematic parts of his discourse. Sometimes, of course, he may be overcome by the need to momentarily close the eye, when the dissonance between what he is saying and what his conscience requires him to say is too great. But this already amounts to a “leak”.

Fallacy: a high-pitched tone of voice, rapid speech, a loud voice, verbal errors – are all indicators of a lie.
Fact: most of the above merely indicate excitement, except for the voice being suddenly pitched louder or softer.

Fallacy: a smile shows sympathy and is therefore an indicator of the truth.
Fact: liars use smiles as ammunition. A smile of this sort is discernible mainly when it is out of place, appearing suddenly and just as suddenly vanishing. Crooked smiles that do not involve the eyes, or that last too long, may indicate that lies are being told.

Fallacy: a poker face indicates a person who has something to hide.
Fact: a poker-faced expression is mainly indicative of introverted types, the exception being where the subject’s face changes from expressive to poker faced.

Fallacy: reflex actions such as blushing, quick breathing, perspiring or dilation of the pupils – may indicate a lie.
Fact: all these are signs of mental stress or strong negative feelings, not necessarily lying.

It is important to note that lying should not be inferred from one single indicator but only from a whole cluster of signs. Moreover, indicators appearing singly or serially are only significant where there is a deviation from the norm, an unconventional response. For example, if a person is in the habit of sitting on his hands, that posture carries no significance, but significance does attach to one who suddenly sits on his hands in response to something that has been said. We may ascribe significance if the voice suddenly becomes high-pitched when uttering a certain word; but where a voice is always pitched high, we are witnessing a personality trait, and not a lie.