Today’s cultural “norm” favors go-getters, a mold “everyone” is supposed to fit into or desire to. What if you’ve never felt you fit into the go-getter mold? Where do you fit? Maybe here.

You’re aware of traditional and mainstream achievement go-getters; we’ll call them Group 1. And there are the adventurous avant-garde and iconoclastic go-getters (Group 2). My many attempts over my lifetime to try these on, because surely one of them had to fit, tended to cause me to get metaphysical splinters; and I figured there was something “wrong” with me when actually there was something right with me… just as it may be with you.

When you know you don’t really fit in among Groups 1 or 2 that the majority of people around you fit into, and the various aspects of society (familial, social, professional, political, educational, religious…) tell you that you should or must, you can fall into the trap of feeling not so good about yourself and wonder, “What’s up with this?!”, which is something they may wonder as well. This feeling and questioning, theirs and yours, happens because none of those types or groups, and possibly you, recognizes the fact there is a Group 3 that has its proper place in the grand scheme of life in the evolving world and universe.

Frankly, I didn’t know about Group 3 until fairly recently; and discovering it was like a warm, cozy spot in front of a crackling fireplace on a cold night or the welcome calm after a storm… evidence that I’m always learning something new about myself, or can. Actually, I figured this out about myself quite a while back; I just didn’t know it had a label or was considered valid by anyone on Planet Earth, which has allowed to me feel, and mean, “You’re okay, and now I know I’m okay, whether you understand it or not.” So, let me tell you what the heck I’m talking about.

Eckhart Tolle had this to say about the third group (the Others he mentions here): The outward movement into form does not express itself with equal intensity in all people. Some feel a strong urge to build, create, become involved, achieve, make an impact upon the world…. Others, after the natural expansion that comes with growing up has run its course, lead an outwardly unremarkable, seemingly more passive and relatively uneventful existence. They are more inward looking by nature, and for them the outward movement into form is minimal…. [some] eventually become healers or spiritual teachers, that is to say, teachers of Being. In past ages, they would probably have been called contemplatives. There is no place for them, it seems, in our contemporary civilization. On the arising new earth, however, their role is just as vital as that of the creators, the doers, the reformers. Their function is to anchor the frequency of the new consciousness on this planet. I call them the frequency-holders. They are here to generate consciousness through the activities of daily life, through their interactions with others as well as through “just being”…. As each human being is an integral part of the collective human consciousness, they affect the world much more deeply than is visible on the surface of their lives.

If you’re of a certain age (maybe younger) it’s likely self-evident that you’re a frequency-holder, if what Tolle wrote about them really resonates with and for you. Or, maybe you know someone like this. Either way, my hope is that once you finish reading this, you stop judging yourself for not fitting into Groups 1 or 2, or stop judging those who fit into Group 3. If you’re still not sure you fit in Group 3, here are additional bits to consider.

Frequency-holders may appear uninvolved in or with the outer world, but that’s not exactly accurate. Their involvement with the outer world is primarily at the inner level; and they understand how this inner involvement affects outer experiences, or at least suspect it does, if they haven’t turned to a more spiritual or metaphysical path as yet.

They feel displaced in this goal-driven, status-symbol model of society. It isn’t that they don’t want comforts and abundance and purpose, but their motivation about this is different, so different that neither they nor those in the other groups tend to understand it enough to offer proper guidance about making their way in the world, in their own natural way.

They may feel obligated to follow traditional goals models even though their very nature resists it. So they may push or force themselves to hop onto the “goals” train when it’s actually more natural for them to follow to completion what inspires them in a meaningful way. They also know what go-getters from any group would have to say about this or them, and may also self-judge about this, even though they know the models in existence just don’t fit them but there doesn’t seem to be anything in place for them that does. While Groups 1 and 2 say aiming at achievement or outcomes is a black-or-white matter, frequency-holders ask or ponder, “But what about all these shades of gray?” They and others may tend to perceive them as just average or lazy or failures. They may feel lost or confused about how to succeed or feel fulfilled, or even to know what success or fulfillment means to them, because most systems and methods and models are designed for (and by) go-getters, not frequency-holders.

They know that creation or co-creation of what they experience happens at the inner level, but may continue to butt their heads against the go-getter wall that says they’re supposed to take massive action to create a bigger life at the outer level. They do know which of these approaches actually works best for them and feels natural – because it is for them. While others may stay active from dawn till dark, frequency-holders know that inner alignment will lead them to inspired action or inspired inaction; and they know they can trust both. They aren’t lazy, just differently-motivated (just watch them focus and take action when they’re truly inspired!). Making money a primary or sole goal never works for them. Never. And this type of focus gives them metaphysical splinters, or bruises. Having enough and then some isn’t a problem when they follow what inspires them in a way that’s fulfilling and/or serves others, and they have their energy in alignment with Universal flow.

Frequency-holders may join groups they really don’t want to, but think they should (and drop out or feel uncomfortable if they stay), or don’t join or stop joining because they know from experience it just doesn’t feel right for them after the first blush of exuberance at the possibility of at last fitting in somewhere passes. This don’t-join-itis is a tendency; it’s not etched in stone, as frequency-holders, just like everyone else, have individual personalities. Some do find groups they’re happy to be a part of, especially if they can be themselves while also being members, in a way that works for them.

They may appear or seem to do or be nothing particularly special (in the opinion of a number of people in the other groups), but find they are the person those others turn to for their thoughts or guidance… or even truth, based on observed facts. They tend to keep a good deal of their thoughts and awareness to themselves, unless they’re with someone they really, really trust (meaning the person or people have demonstrated true non-judgment in their regard), or are asked for their thoughts.

Frequency-holders GENUINELY NEED quiet, contemplative and/or meditative time in order to feel like they can function fully and mindfully in their day-to-day life. They know they’re going to interact with others who don’t understand them or judge them, are negative, or have no desire to awaken their consciousness, all of which can feel draining to a frequency-holder. And they know that sometimes the only thing they can offer to or do around these others is to maintain their own energy silently, like a low-level white-noise hum in the room. They have some level of or true awareness that their presence helps anchor or soothe energy, but only if and when they have their inner stillness in place.

I’m not saying if someone isn’t a go-getter that makes them a frequency-holder, just as it would be inaccurate to say that go-getters are not metaphysical or spiritual. Each group (1, 2, and 3) has its more- and less-active members, who are either side of that equation or somewhere in the middle or back and forth, for their own reasons. Though, it’s possible that some who feel uninspired may feel this way because trying to be a go-getter when they’re a frequency-holder may have exhausted them, and they feel like giving up or have. This reminds me of Leo Buscaglia’s story about how some people are peaches and some people are bananas, and how much energy it would take for a peach to become a banana, in order to get the approval of those who only like bananas.

There are more aspects, of course; but if these I’ve described had you nodding your head as you read them because they describe you (or someone you know), it’s time you honor your purpose (or theirs): Continue to expand your conscious awareness so you expand your ability to work with energy and fulfill your role as a frequency-holder. It’s time you understand and honor who and how you are; time to remove the blocks created by believing you’re supposed to be a go-getter type, which forces you to try to be someone and something other than you are. You will either continue to do whatever work you do, while attending to frequency-holding in a sacred (and likely silent) way, or you’ll become, as Tolle wrote, someone who offers spiritual or healing services, which come in many forms of outer expression, from counseling to humor (Swami Beyondananda, for example).

If you release these blocks and allow yourself to BE, this will open different doors far easier than your attempts to open any you aren’t meant to walk through. You’ll look for ways to be on purpose and to honor the sacredness of moments and individuals and life rather than how to be successful in go-getter fashion; though, that’s not to say you won’t or can’t experience success. You can, but you can do it in ways and measures appropriate for you. You can love and appreciate and honor who you are more than you previously imagined you could or would or should.

You can give up trying to color inside the lines, when you are meant to be a rainbow in the sky, its colors tinted, of course, by your unique personality. Note: keep your energy about this sacred, and ego’s need for any identity as “special” out of it to avoid having the energy bite you on the bum to get you back on purpose (see my article, “Does Ego or Conscious Awareness Drive You?”).

Practice makes progress.
© Joyce Shafer

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Author's Bio: 

Joyce Shafer is a Life Empowerment Coach dedicated to helping people feel, be, and live their true inner power. She’s author of “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru” and other books/ebooks, and publishes a free weekly online newsletter that offers empowering articles and free downloads. See all that’s offered by Joyce and on her site at