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Snapshot Management: Leaders under the Spotlight Use Emotional Intelligence - By Reldan Nadler- “I Didn't Realise They Were So Insecure!” - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperBefore I went to Mexico, in the middle of 2014, I ordered a few copies of ‘A Dialogue With The Heart - Part One: A Collection Of Poems And Dialogues From The Heart’. This was a book that I released towards the end of 2013. The reason for this was that I thought it would be good idea to leave ...
Views: 1051 - “I Didn’t Feel Safe Enough To Cry!” - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I first started to face the emotional pain that was within me, in 2013, I didn’t feel comfortable expressing my emotions. So, when I was working with a therapist, it was a challenge for me to express what was going on for me. What didn’t help was that I had chosen to work with a female ...
Views: 1272 - “I Don’t Care If Your Father Is In Hospital!” - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperAs I have said in a previous article, my father had to go into hospital in the middle of 2011, and this was a time when I was under a lot of stress. My mother had had a stroke the previous year and soon my life would change once again. During the time that my father was in hospital, I would ...
Views: 978 - “I Ended Up Getting Defensive!” - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhilst I was helping a friend to move house a number of years ago, I ended up meeting someone there who was into self-development. It didn’t take long for me to see that we had a lot in common. Not only this, he also worked as a photographer and made videos. I thought that everything was ...
Views: 1091 - “I Feel Invisible!” - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIn the article titled ‘I Am The Centre Of The Universe!’, I primarily went into what can happen to someone if they were violated and made to feel insignificant as a child. Towards the end, I briefly touched upon another consequence of being treated in this way. To summarise; when someone was ...
Views: 1081 - “I Felt Depressed!" - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn the beginning of 2012 and throughout 2013, I would often feel flat, and at times, it was a challenge for me to get out of bed in the morning. While this was going on, there was another part of me found it hard to accept how I felt. I believed that I couldn’t allow myself to experience ...
Views: 1723 - “I Felt Guilty After My Father Died!” - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen my father had to go into hospital for a heart operation in 2011, I dropped him off at the hospital. And although there was a greater risk due to his age, I thought that he would soon be out. Before he went into hospital, it was clear that he wasn’t in a good way, but as he had been ...
Views: 1612 - “I Felt Recognised!” - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn the middle of 2012, I ended up having a reading, and this took place at a shop that was about 9 miles away from where I lived. This was a time when I was looking for guidance, and this was partly because I had just left where I worked. I ended up speaking to the owner of the shop before I ...
Views: 1059 - “I Felt Suicidal!” - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWent I went to a new salsa dancing class in the middle of 2010, there was one woman who caught my eye. And while we were dancing together, I asked her about where she was from and what she did, amongst others things. I was pulled in by her appearance, and her easy going and friendly nature ...
Views: 1291 - “I Felt Worthless!” - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperOnce I had left my job in the beginning of 2012, I needed to take a break. I could no longer handle the amount of stress that I was under and this was one of the main reasons why I had to walk away. Up until this point, I had only written about one or two articles a week. Now that I had more ...
Views: 1161 - “I Found It Hard To Breathe!” - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I think back to what happened in 2001, I remember that there was a time when I was working out and I ended up finding it hard to breathe. At the time, I just thought that I had a cold coming on. However, after I went to see the doctor, I came to see that it wasn’t a cold. After I had a ...
Views: 1617 - “I Had A Fear Of Being Seen!” - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was growing up there was generally one person who did all the talking when we were around others - my mother. And, as time went by this would include my sister, which meant that my father and I didn’t get the chance to say much. It was no different when we were at home, either, as my ...
Views: 1039 - “I Had Anger Problems!” - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperTowards the end of 2012, I ended up playing five a side football, and this was a time in my life when I was experiencing a lot of anger. It was during this time that I was involved in an altercation. The person who was there to let the players know when they were going on and coming off lost ...
Views: 1280 - “I Had Severe Learning Difficulties!” - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperBefore I had read my first book on self-development, towards the end of 2003, I didn’t really read books. The books that I had read were the ones that I had to read whilst I was at school, and this meant that I didn’t have a choice. Up until this point, I didn’t enjoy reading; which was ...
Views: 1069 - “I Hate You, Don't Leave Me” - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperA number of years ago, I read a book called “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality.” This is an old book, originally published in 1989, but I thought it was still excellent. I would say that even if someone doesn’t have a borderline personality or even know ...
Views: 656 - “I Have To Become Someone Else. I Have To Become Something Else” - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperAround five years ago, whilst I was visiting a friend, I ended up watching a series called ‘Arrow’. I hadn’t heard of it before but I was happy to give it a go and after watching the first episode, there was one thing that was on my mind – to watch the next one. I thought that it was very ...
Views: 842 - “I Kept Having Nightmares!” - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperDuring the beginning of my life, I remember having two reoccurring dreams. In one of the dreams, I would be at the top of a flight of stairs and shortly after, I would fall down the stairs. And in the other dream, or should I say nightmare, it was as though I was surrounded by everyone on ...
Views: 930 - “I Learnt How Dangerous It Was To Have A Closed Mind!” - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I first got into self-development, about a year I left school, I wanted to share what I had learnt with my family. But although I was extremely curious and wanted to find out as much as I could, my family were not really interested. After talking about what I had learnt and being put ...
Views: 920 - “I Learnt The Importance Of Self-Discipline!” - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperI grew up in a guest house, and this meant that I had to help my family by doing different jobs. However, it wasn’t uncommon for me to stop doing a job and then to go to my room or somewhere else. This was partly due to me not being given much time to do what I wanted and partly due to me ...
Views: 1146 - “I Married the Wrong Person” - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2018 from Sheryl PaulWhenever a theme arises in my weekly work with clients I know it’s important to write about it here. Last week the theme was: “I married the wrong person” or “It would have been easier with someone else.” One of the most important tasks for those on the road to awakening is to notice all of ...
Views: 870 - “I Meditate In The Sauna” - by Submitted on May 12, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperDuring a call that I had with Errol Campbell, he said that he hadn’t been able to use the sauna the day before due to a minor problem at the hotel nearby. He went on to say that he meditates when he uses the sauna. I thought that this was different, with it being something that I hadn’t ...
Views: 1038 - “I No Longer Had A Purpose!” - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperGrowing up in a guest house meant that there was always something to do; therefore, there wasn’t much time to relax. If I didn’t get up at a certain time or disappeared when I was supposed to be working, I would often be in a lot of trouble. Sometimes I would go out when I got home from ...
Views: 901 - “I No Longer Wanted To Play A Role!” - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperA little while before a relationship came to an end, at the beginning of 2013; I had got to the point where I no longer wanted to behave in the same way. Up until this point, I was easy-going and generally came across as happy. It wasn’t that I no longer wanted to be easy-going or to come ...
Views: 1155 - “I Started To Develop Boundaries!” - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperAround 2014, I no longer wanted to say yes all the time and to go along with what other people wanted. Not only this, there were times when I could stand my ground and say no. For a little while before this, I could see what was talking place but I wasn’t able to do anything about it. I had ...
Views: 1203 - “I Thought I Just Lacked Confidence!” - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was younger, I often found it hard to behave how I wanted to behave, and I was often described as being ‘shy’. This was something my mother would say, and there were moments when other people would say the same thing. During this time in my life, my emotions were frequently out of ...
Views: 956 - “I Want To Be With Someone Who Makes Me Look Good!” - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperOver the years I have heard people say that they want to be with someone who will make them look good. Additionally, there have been people who have wanted to take their partner out to “show them off”. There have even been moments in my own life when I have thought that being with woman ...
Views: 973 - “I Want To Help A Billion People!” - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was out earlier I saw someone who reminded me of someone I spoke to a number of years ago. We spoke about a number of things, and one of the things I remember clearly is how they wanted to make a difference in the world. But, this was not something that they hadn’t really thought ...
Views: 943 - “I Wanted To Convert People!” - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperAfter I had been into self-development for a few years, in the middle of 2005, I learnt about the effect that our thoughts, emotions and beliefs have on how we experience life. I think the first time I had heard about his was when I read ‘The Power of the Subconscious Mind’, by Joseph ...
Views: 1014 - “I Wanted To Help My Father!” - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn the beginning of 2009, I had been working with someone for a little while, and this made me think about what it would be like to work with someone else. This was a time when I was doing a lot work around negative beliefs and past life trauma. What also played a part here was that the ...
Views: 1524 - “I Was Brought Up To Tolerate Abuse!” - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperI remember sitting at the dinner table, after I had come back from school and having an argument with my mother. This soon came to an end, though, as she ended up leaving the table and going to her room. I can’t remember exactly why we had this argument as it was a long time ago, but I think ...
Views: 1378 - “I Was Carrying A Lot Of Grief!” - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperTowards the end of 2014, I felt a lot better than I did in the beginning of 2013, and what also played a part here is that I had recently been away. I had gone to Mexico for my sister’s wedding in June that year. Going away gave me a lift and, when I came back, I wondered why I didn’t go ...
Views: 1384 - “I Was Completely Ignored!” - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperA little while before I headed to Bournemouth for New Years Eve, in 2012, I had been texting a woman I had met online. At this point, I didn’t know a great deal about her, but I was keen to meet her. I think it was just after New Year’s Day that we arranged a time to meet and, when I met ...
Views: 1395 - “I Was Completely Out of Touch With My Own Needs!” - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperOnce I had finished studying sport and leisure at college in 2003, I had absolutely no idea about what I was going to do next. I had only taken this course because I enjoyed working out and I didn’t know what else to do. So after it was over, I soon had to face what I had been able to avoid ...
Views: 1166 - “I Was No Longer As Motivated!” - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperFor a number of years, I felt extremely motivated when it came to writing articles, and I had a strong need to become a successful author. There was no middle ground; it was a case of hitting the big time or nothing at all. When I was able to take a step back and to look into why I was ...
Views: 1372 - “I Was Physically Abused!” - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen my sister and I were growing up, we had to do as we were told; if we didn’t, we would often end up being hit by my father. In a lot of cases, this would be something that our mother was behind. So, while my father was physically stronger than my mother, it didn’t mean that he was in ...
Views: 1372 - “I Was Terrified of My Mother” - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn the middle of 2010, my life was going in the right direction; I felt confident, I had a relatively fulfilling job, and I had a plenty of good people around me. It was as though my life could only get better. Unfortunately, my life was about to get worse, a lot worse, and everything changed ...
Views: 1323 - “I Wasn't Good Enough!” - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I finished school I had no idea what I was going to do, so I ended up going to a college to see what courses were on offer. During this time, I thought I would be good to study psychology, yet that was as far as it went. I didn’t get very good grades at school, which meant that I was ...
Views: 1098 - “I Wasn't Just Grieving The Loss of My Father!” - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperShorty after I had got to the point where I could contain my emotions, the healer that I was working with said it would be a good idea for me to see if I could cry when I’m by myself. The reason for this was that I hadn’t been able to cry during the sessions that we had had. As even though ...
Views: 1449 - “It Wasn't Safe For Me To Express My Emotions!” - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was about 12 years old, I remember being told to “stop moaning” by my mother. And based on how she responded in this moment, it was as though I was actually making a fuss over nothing. However, this couldn’t have been further from the truth; I was simply speaking out about something. ...
Views: 1174 - “It’s Called The Fight Instinct!” - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperA few years ago, I could see that I found it hard to stand my ground and to assert myself. But even though I could see that this was a problem for me, I wasn’t sure about what I could do to change this. And although part of me had had enough of experiencing life in this way, another part of ...
Views: 1085 - “I’m Being Ignored!” - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperEarlier on I was waiting in line for something and the person in front of me asked the cashier a question. They didn’t receive an answer, though, and this made them turn to me and say that they were being ignored. A few seconds later, this person asked the cashier the same question and once ...
Views: 777 - “Mindfulness Was A Waste Of Time!” - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn 2010 I had tried a healing technique that didn’t really have much of an effect on me, and this made me look for something else. Towards the end of this year, I got in touch with someone who I had met around a year before. The reason for this was that I heard that they had created their ...
Views: 1279 - “My Gums Were Bleeding!” - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperIn the beginning of 2010, I was all fired up, and this was partly because I had recently been on a course. When I was on this course, I met some great people, and I wrote down some of the things that I wanted to achieve. But after the days and weeks passed, my mood gradually changed; in a ...
Views: 1260 - “My Healing Technique Is The Only One That Works!” - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperIn 2015, I was speaking to a therapist called, Vijay Rana, about different healing techniques. I was talking about how some people believe that their technique is the best one available or the only one that works. After bringing this up, I went into why I thought that it wasn’t a good idea ...
Views: 1042 - “My Partner Isn’t Smart Enough” - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2018 from Sheryl Paul“One of the big traps we have in the West is our intelligence, because we want to know what we know. Freedom allows you to be wise, but you cannot know wisdom. You must be wisdom… The intellect is a beautiful servant, but a terrible master. Intellect is the power tool of our separateness. The ...
Views: 1022 - “Neurosis Is Always A Substitute For Legitimate Suffering” - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to hear the term ‘legitimate suffering’, it might not make any sense to them. But, if they were to hear the word ‘neurosis’, they might have a rough idea about what it means. This could be seen as a normal part of living in a society that encourages the avoidance of pain and ...
Views: 990 - “Shadow Work Is Important!” - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2018 from Oliver JR CooperThe last time I spoke to a friend of mine called, Errol Campbell, we touched upon the effect that the mother/father wound can have on someone , and this time we looked into another important area. But before I got into what this was, I want to talk about how this topic came up. This was ...
Views: 1011 - “Shame Is A Soul Eating Emotion” - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperWhile I was looking through some of Carl Jung quotes, one that stood out was ‘“Shame Is A Soul Eating Emotion”. When I saw this, it reminded me of something that I said about toxic shame a number of years ago. In at least two articles, I said that in the same way that acid destroys things, ...
Views: 835 - “Stop Preaching!” - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2017 from Oliver JR CooperThe first book that I read on self development was a by Louise L Hay and, shortly after I had read one of her books, I end up reading another. I bought the first book in a spiritual shop in Australia and the second book at a book shop in England. After I had finished this book, I read a few ...
Views: 1091 - “The Individual Has Always Had To Struggle To Keep From Being Overwhelmed By The Tribe” - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperMany years ago, I heard the following quote from Friedrich Nietzsche, “The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning ...
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