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Official Guide for Relationship Advice

Dave Shields

Dave Shields is the Official SelfGrowth Guide for Relationship Advice.

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Relationship Advice

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Getting Back Together With An Ex - It is a challenging time

If you're lying awake at night trying to figure out if you're getting back together with an ex, you are one of millions of people who've felt this way. When we are separated from somebody we adore, this could prove to be a unpleasant time in our lives. Love is rarely simple and it absolutely makes me downcast for anyone who faces this quandary. At about that point, you most likely just require the heartache to go and your ex to come wandering through your door again. It is probably time to stop dreaming while making a reunion with your ex or beau a reality.

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Article
Guru for Two's Four Love Stages

You find someone that you adore and your relationship is truly BLISS...for about 6 months. Sooner or later, you realize that this person that you thought would be the ANSWER, can sometimes be the PROBLEM! Even the best relationship can start out with BLISS, promise and expectation but inevitably lead to disappointment, conflict and emotional alienation. Every relationship will go through different stages. The trouble comes from mistaking a lack of "understanding" for a lack of "love." Don't allow lousy communication to wreck your love and your life!

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Article
By Meredith Nia
How To Handle A Careless Husband: How To Deal With A Careless Spouse

How To Handle A Careless Husband: How To Deal With A Careless Spouse Have an annoying husband? What are your partner's quirks? We all have one. But according to counselors, as long as your partner's quirk does not endanger your or his safety or health, learning to live with it is the best thing to do. Here are some annoying things that husbands commonly do: * Snoring - People snore for different reasons. Some people have a structural defect in the nasal area that makes it har

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Article
Keeping Your Valentine Forever!

Here are some little known facts about Valentines Day: 1. Nationwide, 6,000 couples will tie the knot on Valentine’s Day 2009. Even when that date does not fall upon a Saturday, February 14th is consistently one of the most popular days of the year to wed. 2. 255,000 other couples will become ...

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Article
***Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking?

________________________________________ A client of mine asked, "Is there such a thing as healthy caretaking?" Here is the answer! ________________________________________ I was trained by my mother and grandmother to be a caretaker. The messages were: "Your feelings are not important to us at all. You need to learn to completely ignore your own feelings and instead take care of our feelings. In return for this, we will occasionally give you some approval for being a good girl."

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Article
By Salvador Abdiel
My Husband Is Mad At Me and Won't Talk to Me: He's Giving Me the Silent Treatment Is It Over

My Husband Is Mad At Me and Won't Talk to Me: He's Giving Me the Silent Treatment Is It Over Does your husband's heart seem closed to you? Does it seem like he won't let you in or that he might be moving towards a divorce? There are many reasons why this might be the case and the number one reason is probably anger. When most men become angry they close themselves off towards others and if your marriage is in a bad place there is a good chance that your husband is angry towar

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Article
Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Strange?

Dear Dr. Romance: I am a university student majoring in English Translation in a Mid Eastern country. I find it difficult to attract other people's attention and it makes friendship nearly impossible. I love loneliness in a way that most of my friends don't approve. I feel happy sometimes but suddenly I do not like to be with anybody, even my close friends or loved ones. I just want to be alone.

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Article
Is Your Marriage A Private Matter?

Certainly not; your wedding wasn't. Let me try and explain, but first let me say what prompted me to write this article. I'll make it short. I recently talked to the parents of a couple who was about to get divorced and they said: "We cannot do anything about it. It's their business and their private life. They are adults and we do not want to interfere."

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Article
Are You Stuck in a Woman’s Role?

Women assume many roles throughout their lives – as daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and grandmothers. Women’s roles have been largely determined by the rules and expectations of culture, religion, and the patriarchy, as well as biology. Have you considered to what extent your roles have defined you, your thoughts and behavior? It may be easier to conform to societal norms and follow the example of your mother and friends, but the price is high if it means sacrificing your beliefs or the expression of other parts of yourself. This can lead to depression.

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Article
How to deal with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Those with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have an underlying fear of abandonment and often misinterpret interpersonal situations where they end up feeling worthless or mistreated. They can have a distorted sense of self and view of others. The see themselves and others as split, as either “all good” or “all bad”. They will either project that others are “all good” (loving, supportive, caring); and then when they are triggered they will project that others are “all bad” (uncaring, abandoning or mean). These internal positions prevent them seeing themselves or others clearly.

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Article
By Joan Rivers
Why My Ex Boyfriend Will Want To Get Back Together With Me

Why My Ex Boyfriend Will Want To Get Back Together With Me; If you want to have a shot at rebuilding a broken relationship, your first step should be to examine and understand some potential relationship problems that could have contributed to the breakup to begin with. A complete solution to help you get your ex back into your life is provided at the end of this write-up (Author's Bio), meanwhile let's build the foundation. You don't need to undergo a personality makeover an

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Article
10 Reasons For Not Falling in Love

Although you might think of "falling in love" as romantic; we all fall in love many times in life: with a new lover, a new friend, a particularly cooperative co-worker, an appealing movie or TV star, a caring neighbor, siblings, relatives and even pets. Any close relationship involves falling in love at least a little bit, and it's these connections that make life pleasurable.

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Article
The Shiny Pen: Taking Responsibility in Relationship

For a relationship to be healthy, both partners need to be willing to take responsibility for their own part in an argument. This is sometimes very difficult to do. It is always easier to see your partner’s fault than your own. If you’re angry or defensive in a situation, look deeper and you will find your part. Joyce and I sometimes tell the following very humbling story in our workshops to illustrate mutual responsibility:

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Article
By Vihaan Randy
My Husband Said I Make Him Unhappy: Husband Is Miserable With Me

My Husband Said I Make Him Unhappy: Husband Is Miserable With Me So, you want to learn how to keep your husband happy. It is equally important that both of you know how to make each other happy and not only on one side. Let's look at some things that we can do in order to keep your husband satisfied and happy with your relationship. 1 - Subtle things like cleaning up washed hair from the drain on the shower room so that he will not be bothered when he showers. Men don't like

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Article
By Seth Czerepak
Super Confidence-The #1 Secret to Stamping Out Insecurity

Self-confidence makes a world of difference in the quality of your relationships, both those which you attract AND those which you already have in your life. Just think about the people who you know that have great relationships in their life, both in their friendships and in their romance. I bet you a dollar these people are confident. On the other hand, think about the people who you know whose lives are constantly dragged down by bad or “toxic” relationships, I’ll bet you

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Article
Comforting the Little Orphan Girl

When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, thrived. But little orphan girl doesn’t remember that I made it through – she sinks into despair.

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Article
Detox Your Life

Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how to handle it. 1. Frequently later

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Article
By Ricky Bronson
I Hate My Husband and His Family: I Hate My Husband So Much

I Hate My Husband and His Family: I Hate My Husband So Much Everybody is in love when they first get married. Unfortunately in a lot of cases over time the love wanes and they find themselves in a loveless marriage. If this happens it may be necessary to end the marriage. It is not however always the case, sometimes it does make sense to stay in a loveless marriage. The best reason to stay in a loveless marriage is if you are staying together for the children. A divorce is a

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Article
Five Ways to Increase Intimacy in Your Mid-Life Relationship

While many think of sexual relationships when they hear the word “intimate,” the true meaning of the word is much broader than that. To be intimate, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, pertains to one’s deepest nature. For most women, and a significant segment of men, the best sexual intimacy is that which follows from a deep emotional intimacy with another person.nnBoth of these types of intimacy can be lacking in a mid-life relationship. After a long time o

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Article
By Emmitt Ryland
My Husband Hasn't Touched Me In A Month: He Hasn't Touched Me In Weeks

My Husband Hasn't Touched Me In A Month: He Hasn't Touched Me In Weeks Change is one of the only things in the world that is really permanent. After all, it applies to every single thing out there, including marriage. As with all of the other relationships out there, marriages are filled with positivity, passion, romance and excitement in the beginning. However, as time goes by, feelings change and usually get replaced with repetition and, eventually, boredom. In some marriag

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Article
By Dr J York (contributing writer for www.ecovitality.co.za)
SEX VS. LOVE... A HEALTHY DIFFERENCE

Are sex and love REALLY as inextricably linked as we tend to assume they are? Can both men & women find a HAPPY balance between the two? I believe that by understanding more about the fundamental differences inherent in this complex relationship... WE CAN! All too often happy, devoted couples 'torture' themselves with thoughts that their increasingly 'inadequate' sex-life serves as an accurate measure of the REAL quality of their relationship. Well... Consider this before arr

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Article
Technology and Love

Technology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets that cause friction can come out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media sites. Online gaming, porn and gambling can become addictive, and ravage families.

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Article
Abusive Behavior-Part1

It's very possible the questionnaire can be skewed in various ways. For a number of reasons more women have filled out the form. It’s possible that men who have been abused may be too embarrassed to admit it. Mirroring the old joke of men not asking for directions, it seems they ...

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Article
By Cassius Marcelo
How To Reconcile With Husband After Separation: My Husband Says He's Not Ready For A Reconciliation

How To Reconcile With Husband After Separation: My Husband Says He's Not Ready For A Reconciliation If you are having a separation in marriage this is probably a very stressful time for you. Something you need to know is that it is possible to get back together and fix your marriage. The first thing you must do is get a hold of your emotions and take care of yourself. It is understandable to feel panic with the loss of control you are experiencing. Before the breakup life may

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Article
I Don't Love You Any More

After buy­ing and read­ing the Rela­tion­ship Saver, some peo­ple ask for coach­ing. One of the most fre­quent rea­sons they men­tion for their part­ner leav­ing them is either they say their part­ner does not love them, or is not in love with them any more. These two may sound very sim­i­lar and peo­ple may eas­ily con­fuse the two, but dis­tin­guish­ing them is cru­cial for under­stand­ing what is really going on.

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Article
Overcoming Codependency

Codependency is learned – learned inaccurate information that you’re in some way not enough, that you don’t matter, that your feelings are wrong, or that you don’t deserve respect. These are the false beliefs that most codependents grow up with. They may not have been told these things directly, but have inferred it from behavior and attitudes of family and friends and events. Often these beliefs get handed down for generations.

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Article
By Gerry Restrivera
How to Bring Back Lost Love and Save Your Relationship

Dating stage and the first few years of a marriage or relationship are the sweetest and the happiest. You are discovering new things with each other and enjoying each other’s company. But when the relationship is aging, you are getting more familiar with each other and starting to have fights even over silly small things and you will begin to realize that love and romance in your relationship is starting to fade. There are a lot of factors affecting marriage and relationshi

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Article
Dear Dr. Romance: Overwhelmed to the Point I Want Out

Dear Dr. Romance: I read some of the things you stated about marriage and why people divorce. I am feeling overwhelmed lately to the point I just want out. I have been married for over 17 years. We have 2 school-age children together. I am in school full time and work full time and still have a household to run. Can you please help me find a counselor? You are a blessing to all who reads and speak with you. Keep doing your daily work. God Bless. Dear Reader:

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Article
Trauma and Codependency

You can make significant strides in overcoming codependency by developing new attitudes, skills, and behavior. But deeper recovery may involve healing trauma, usually that began in childhood. Trauma can be emotional, physical, or environmental, and can range from experiencing a fire to emotional neglect. Childhood events had a greater impact on you then than they would today, because you didn’t have coping skills that an adult would have.

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Article
Choose To Enjoy Each Day

Mary Jane Irion said, “Normal Day, let me be aware of the treasure that you are.” There are so many wonders around us each day, if we are awake and aware. Often times we are so busy getting to, coming from, hurrying from task to task that we seldom stop to smell the roses.

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Article
Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Single?

Dear Dr.Romance: My friends were joking that I have never been single, and I argued that I have - but they said my definition of being single was wrong! true, I tend to have long term relationships, but before I met my last boyfriend I was "single" for nearly a year. I define this as not exclusively being in a committed relationship with any one person, but yes I dated a few guys. they say that because I was dating, I wasn't single.... what is your view on this?? (i'll award best answer to someone who supports my argument lol) Dear Reader:

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Article
How to Tell if Someone is a “Leaker” or Really Likes You!

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me… and her too? I can’t tell you how many times friends or clients have complained about their disenchanting, painful encounters with “leakers.” Men and women who seem so great at first, almost to good to be true and then…wham, bam, ouch, waah… What’s a leaker, you ask? Or maybe you already know. Maybe you are one. For those who don’t, it’s a term I adopted from my father, tweaked and use liberally when appropriate.

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Article
By Sarah Scott
If You’re Wondering How To Save My Relationship Then There Are Ways It Can Be Saved

All relationships have their faults if you look hard enough. Relationships all have difficult times and you need to make sure that you do something about it before things get out of hand. If you’ve got to the point where you and your partner are constantly fighting and about to give up then you know you have to work quickly to save the relationship. Regardless of whose fault things are, you both need to be pulling in the same direction to make things work. Here are some use

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Article
Do You Understand Your Man?

Understanding men in relationships, though many single women will disagree, is quiet simple. The reason is that men, unlike women, are very simple creatures. They have simple needs, desires and are not overtly emotional, like women. Still, many women find themselves in a situation where they never get a call after the first date or where they have been in a series of broken relationships, or where they have been dumped by men without any warning or where women in long relati

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Article
Christian Codependency: Four Things to Do to Stop Triangulating in Your Relationships

If you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a relationship dynamic between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem. Here are some things you may do that are triangulating: • Holding a resentment toward or punishing someone for what is done to another. • Speaking for someone rather than letting the person speak for himself/herself.r

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Article
5 Tips to Get Motivated!

What gets you motivated? There is always something that can get you going. One of my favorite ways to get Motivated and that I love to do as we approach the end of the year is to reflect on what I have accomplished during the year. 1. Acknowledge what you have done. Frequently while I am in the midst of a project, situation or just living life everyday I am not able to recognize all the “good stuff” I have done. I have learned over the years that the more I take time to acknowledge what I have done the better I feel about myself and it Motivates me.

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Article
By Stanley Brayan
Marriage Problems After First Baby: Feeling Neglected By Husband After Baby - Disconnected Husband After Baby

Marriage Problems After First Baby: Feeling Neglected By Husband After Baby - Disconnected Husband After Baby Do you find it hard to balance being a parent and a spouse? Do your kids seem to need so much of your time right now? Are you waiting until your kids get older to have alone time with your spouse? One thing growing families aren't always aware of is the impact that anxiety can have on connecting with your spouse. Managing anxiety can help you be more present, open, an

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