Get Unstuck by Letting Go of Emotional Clutter

If you have ever felt stuck, you know how frustrating it can be. You want to move forward, but can't seem to get traction. Or you vacillate back and forth between alternative courses of action, unable to make your decision.

In my 30 years of experience helping people get unstuck, I have discovered the important role that emotional clutter playing in keeping people from moving forward and realizing their goals.

Emotional clutter consists of things from the past that people hang on to even though they have outlived their usefulness. Chief among these are negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, hurt, fear and guilt. People often hang on to the negative emotions from their past experiences believing that they need to keep these feelings around as reminders of some important lesson. For example, if a relationship ended badly, people sometimes hang on to the hurt or the anger to remind themselves of that unhappy ending and in hopes that it will prevent such a thing from happening again.

Unfortunately, hanging on to the negative emotions just keeps you stuck feeling badly. If you are hanging on to anger, it doesn't allow you to move on into a more supportive relationship—it just keeps you angry about relationships. That anger doesn't attract others to you; it simply colors your interactions and keeps you from establishing a relationship where hurt and anger have no place. That emotional clutter of anger and hurt blocks out the possibility of a satisfying relationship, because it keeps nearby the belief that relationships will be full of anger and hurt.

The second chief component of emotional clutter is self-limiting beliefs. These may be beliefs that keep you from acting on opportunities—beliefs such as "I can't;" or "I don't deserve…" Often limiting beliefs include gross generalities—watch for beliefs that contain words such as "never," "always," and "nobody." Limiting beliefs may also eliminate possibilities by using words like "can't," "won't be able to" and "don't know how." The assumption of these beliefs may be that they will be lasting and that if you can't do something currently, it means you won't ever be able to do it.

Getting rid of the emotional clutter of negative emotions and limiting beliefs often works to get you unstuck. Just as physical clutter can block a path in your home or office, making it impossible to see what resources are there, emotional clutter blocks you from taking action, and keeps you from seeing what resources you may have available to solve your problem or meet your challenge.

I find that getting rid of emotional clutter is one of the fastest ways to get unstuck and access the resources that help you move forward toward your dreams. Just as getting rid of physical clutter in your home helps your feel lighter and more energetic, people often tell me that getting rid of emotional clutter helps them feel lighter, happier and even joyful. It can transform your life.

Getting unstuck from emotional clutter allows you to move forward toward your goals and toward your dreams. Isn't it worth it to get rid of the mental and emotional "stuff" you no longer need? What could you accomplish if that stuff was out of the way?

(c) 2009 Linda S. Pucci, Ph.D.