One day on the way back from visiting some friends out of town, I turned on my favorite radio station. Like every Sunday it was playing a play list; nobody was talking. After a while I noticed that although I was listening to music I really love and that usually stirs up emotions, this time I felt nothing. It was ok but nothing more.
I was wondering why did I lose the connection with these songs, why did I feel like what I heard was not special.
I also noticed that driving made me tired, I was not enjoying it. I had to make an effort, which was really strange because usually driving is a great joy for me and never makes me tired.
Next day when I thought of this incident again I tried to figure out why I had this experience. And I did!
I don’t drink coffee usually but this time I made an exception. I had a few espressos because my friends wanted to show me their new espresso machine.
Studying how the brain of sensitive people functions differently, I discovered that the effect of much coffee is to bring it to a high beta brainwave pattern, which is unnatural for sensitives. It disconnects them from emotions, inspiration and intuition and often leads to stress.
The reason this day was a revelation for me is because I realized how stressful it is to be out of your natural condition.
I hear many sensitive people complain that life is a big effort. They have to struggle for every movement. They may need pills to keep attention in one place and again, at the end of the day they have no energy. They also complain about annoying feelings and emotions.
If sensitive people try to fit in, they can be in trouble, because they try to go against their nature, which is to be led by intuition and inner guidance and live effortlessly.
We struggle when we don’t go with the flow. This is often misunderstood. Going with the flow doesn’t mean surrender to the way of society but to your own natural way. If your body, your mind and your nervous system have a different rhythm, you need to follow it and not try to change it.
Sensitive people who struggle for survival are the ones who usually think they need to prove something to the world, including themselves. They want to prove that they have value, prove that they are able to succeed, prove that they have the right to exist.
Why do sensitive people feel the need to prove anything?
Sensitive people have a different way of thinking, that is more creative, extraordinary, unusual; many times they are not understood.
For that reason, as children, they are not 100% accepted. But as sensitive children they are at the same time very much affected by everything they hear (like “you are too sensitive” or “stop talking nonsense”).
The moment I found out about my sensitivity I projected back to my childhood, when I often struggled with life trying to prove my value, something that I do less and less now that I’m aware of it.
To return to my initial story, when I’m driving I can really be calm and relaxed, in an almost meditative state without falling asleep, even if everyone else does. Sometimes I think that I really enjoy driving so much because I learned how to drive after I left my parent’s house. This activity is not connected with the criticism that I received during my childhood (actually neither of my parents were driving a car).
This time after the coffee I had to take care of all my movements, it was almost like hearing my brain giving orders to my muscles.
I brought your attention to just one incident, but the life of a sensitive person is full of this kind of events. Therefore, in order to live a really worthy life sensitives need to do two things. First of all discover what does “worthy life” mean for them, because it has a different meaning for every person, and second release every “must” and “have to”, every obligation and every need that stands between real freedom to enjoy life and themselves.
The message for every sensitive person is:
Stop thinking small,
Stop trying to survive,
Come out and live,
It’s really much easier than trying to fit in!
The only difficult part is to get out of your “comfort”. You need to put your ego aside and ask for help. The reward will be a life full of joy, a life that is really yours.
Antonis Remoundos is Life Coach and he loves to work with Highly Sensitive people, helping them get out of defense and survival and move towards living, thriving, leading.
He has seen a lot of changes in his life when he realized hes uniqueness as sensitive person. His tools are deep understanding, intuition and love for self-growth. And more practical the power of the Sedona Method
He lives in Kifissia Greece and works globally.