Let's Get Better At Asking For What We Want

Years ago I went door-knocking. Not any old door-knocking, but the worst kind, cold-call, door-knocking.

To begin with I hatred it: walking up someone's drive, ringing the bell and waiting for someone to come, look down their nose at me and reject me and what I had to offer. But the experience grew on me.

When I totted things up I understood I had a one-seven success rate - meaning for every seven doors that got slammed, one opened and one person said yes.

What did this teach me?

It taught me I just had to get through the 'no's' faster, because I knew, by the law of average, I would soon get a yes. This new focus enabled me to welcome rejection easily and move on.

This process also taught me to ask for what I want. In sales it is the same process - you ask for the order (and if you ask clearly you increase your chances of success).

What are the rewards?

In the scenario above I increased business turnover six-fold in two years. But what about other areas of life?

A few weeks ago I asked one of the world's top coaches to coach me. He said yes. During the session an inspired idea came to mind that took me over a hurdle I hadn't been able to get over. On the other side of that hurdle I've found the answer I needed to find.

Here's another example:

Last week I asked five authors a question. Four couldn't help, but the one that did gave me a tip that blew me away.

We live in an incredible world of possibilities. All we have to do is merge with what is out there. We do this by greeting what we're seeking - co-rising possibility. When we ask we meet, but by not asking we deny the reality of finding the help that we most want to find - thus we stay put.

The first thing to do is to think about the thing you most want now. Second, when you establish what you want, think about which people are most likely to be able to help you. The third part, the part many people stumble over, is to actually ask.

Most people enjoy being helpful and so when you ask people to help you, you will usually get the help you need - not from everyone, not always from where you asked, but from somewhere.

This week explore co-rising possibilities:
1. Ask for something everyday. Ask for things you wouldn't normally ask for. Ask your partner to stop behaviour you find irritating;
2. Ask your children to do the dishes and give you a night off:
3. ask someone who has achieved what you want to achieve, how they did it and how you can do it too.
4. Ask for that order in your business, in a crystal clear manner.

Best Wishes asking for what you want

Neil Millar