Why “Secrets to Success” Fail

Many individuals claim they have found “the secret to success.” But what does that really mean? How do you know which one to believe? And if there really is a secret, how come you have tried almost all of them but have yet to experience a significant, measurable change in your life?

As a life strategist, I have helped a wide range of clients with very diverse backgrounds, levels of education, and levels of income, from high-paid executives, entrepreneurs, and well-established business owners to divorcées and jobless individuals—not to mention teenagers and young adults who are taking life on for the first time. With all this diversity, is there really one master secret that fits all? Well, yes . . . and no. Sounds confusing enough, right?

Basically, it all boils down to this: To create significant, lasting change in anyone’s life, there are three must-haves and one absolute. It does not matter what shape or size your background is or what your current circumstances are—the formula works every time. But wait, you said there isn’t necessarily a master secret, yet now you’re saying there is a formula that works every time; what’s the catch? Okay, here is the catch—there is a variable in the formula.

First, let me discuss the three must-haves. I have watched my clients time and time again create absolute magic in their lives once they have understood and applied these three simple truths.

1. Trust. Trust the Universe, trust yourself, and trust others.
2. Leadership. Know how to lead yourself so that you can then lead others.
3. Intention. Know how to intentionally create your future.
Like I said, simple truths—have trust, be a leader, and be intentional. But let me ask you a couple questions. How do you establish trust? Is it through facts and figures, or is it through feelings and emotions? Also, how do you stay clear with your intention? Does your intention become clearer working as a group or as an individual? Is your intention best served leading the group or promoting ideas for others to implement?

As you can see, there are several possible answers to any of these questions. When clients first walk through my door, we go through a series of questions similar to the two questions I just asked you. Most of the answers I receive are very generalized or vague. However, after I have introduced them to the one absolute and opened their eyes to a whole new world, their answers become as unique and numerous as there are individuals. Everyone has a clear, specific answer. And often, it is not even related to the generalized response he originally had early in the process.

So what is this variable, this one absolute? The variable is that you must absolutely know yourself. Even ancient Greek philosophy tells us to “know thyself.”

Well, what is so tricky about that, right? I mean, you have lived with yourself essentially your entire life, you should know yourself pretty well by now, should you not? The fact is that we are very dynamic creatures, and each of us is exceptionally unique in our own little way. Whether you know it or not, the fact is that we all have multiple personalities. I know that sounds a little discouraging, but it is not a disorder.

Each of us has three distinct personalities, and each personality has certain environments or situations where it becomes the dominant persona. Think of someone you know close to you and how different he may act when he is with close friends compared to when he is at work, and then differently again when he is in his home. You can begin to see that there are some subtle differences—as well as some drastic ones.

It is one thing to point out the different ways we act, but the true gem is in why we respond to varying circumstances the way we do. When you can harness the why, you can then have solid, meaningful understanding of how you specifically relate to the three must-haves—and when you have that, magic happens.

Your Innate Personality

Of the three personalities, the most important to understand is your innate personality, which is controlled by your unconscious mind. Your innate personality was given to you by nature; it is who you are at the very core of your being. It helps keep you physically safe and out of harm’s way.

Your innate personality is the central source for motivation, a key component to achieving significant results. It also determines your primary learning style—particularly those hard “life lessons.” The largest factor is that the innate personality is the most dominant of the three personalities. When it remains satisfied—feeling safety and trust in its environment—nothing can stop you from getting where you want to go. However, if your innate personality does not feel safe, then nothing seems to go as planned.

Your Intending Personality

The second most important personality is controlled by your conscious mind. I call it the intending personality. This personality was developed sometime in your high school years. Your conscious mind actively creates solutions and also plans for the future. You make decisions with this personality based on what you intend to do—thus the intending personality.

Ultimately, your conscious mind is where the seeds of your intentions are sprouted and then nurtured. When you use your conscious mind in its favored thinking style, you will experience higher levels of awareness in everything you do.

Your Imprinted Personality

The third personality is the imprinted personality, which is controlled by the subconscious mind. I call it the imprinted personality because it was taught to us by our parents (usually before the age of eight years old). This personality is how we look for acceptance from others, and it is constantly on the lookout, protecting us from emotional pain.

Another good way to describe the subconscious mind is self-conscious. When we are self-conscious, this personality kicks in and starts running our lives. It commonly has programs that served us as children but that are mostly stumbling blocks now that we have grown into adults.

Most people work so hard to be this taught personality that they miss their entire lives trying to be accepted and loved based on a learned behavior, rather than on who they really are.

Of the three personalities, I mentioned that the innate personality is the most important; I also posed the question in the opening of this article, Why are there so many different secrets that seem to work for others, but not for you? The reason some processes did not and do not work for you is because your innate personality does not relate with the particular method or process. It will work for certain personalities but, generally, only for a grouping of similar thinking styles. True, there are some fundamental processes that we each must learn, but we each relate to those processes differently. So until we truly understand who we are, we will not know which processes are important to us. Once you have a full understanding of what your overall personality is, you will then be able to use the right applications for success in your life.

To identify your innate personality and gain a better understanding of the types of processes that are most in alignment with you, visit WinningPersonality.com/free-profile (use the access code 101WAYS) and take the free personality test I have developed called the Identity Profile.

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways3.html