Calming Your Mind in Increments Series: The Importance of Taming Your Inner Critic to Maintain a Spiritual Connection

After an important social event, a professional talk, an interaction with a boss or high stakes presentation in front of audience, have you noticed an inner voice popping up…..analyzing (i.e., critiquing)…. how you did? Well, you have met your inner critic.

The inner critic, is analogous to a woodpecker drilling into the trunk of a tree, incessantly worrying and ruminating about how you could have done it differently or better.

Your inner critic voice can be so persistent in keeping your attention on the negative of how you did; what went wrong. This voice can feel like it’s hounding you, resulting in early morning awakenings from a sound sleep, having an upset stomach or creating a sinking feeling in your solar plexus, inferring all is not well. You can feel unfocused at work or home, still caught up in unhealthy dialogues instigated by your inner critic.

Okay, this may be an over-exaggeration, but not by much! Your inner critic can feel like it is running your mind, heart and soul. It quickly moves you into reactionary thinking, feeling, and remembrances.

The inner critic or ego-persona thinks it’s really being helpful. It uses the logic that by being critical, judgmental and condemning of others or yourself is perfectly fine because… “It makes you a better person”, “It is how we can learn from your mistakes” or “It allows you to feel better about yourself”. Is that really true? Let briefly examine each of these statements:

It makes you a better person: The inner critic rationalizes that through pointing out all of our errors, faults and obsessing over your human frailties will lead to being a better person. What it leads to is being a more neurotic person, hypersensitive to when you do something “wrong”.

It is how you can learn from your mistakes: One of the characteristics of the inner critic, also known as the ego-persona (mentioned in Mastering Life’s Adventures: On the Beam book), is navel-gazing at past errors without the wisdom of the soul, your essential self. The inner critic becomes caught-up in the day-to-day human errors and does not have an understanding of the higher Christ awareness and standard by which you can live your life.

It allows us to feel better about yourself: The inner critic actively thinks it is really helping, but in fact, insidiously, tramples on your self-esteem and confidence.

Actually, how you focus your attention after an event or presentation should be up and in (God-ward and soul-ward; not out-ward and back-ward). Focused attention is essential to calming your mind in increments. If your inner critic is putting so much emphasis on human frailties, mistakes, disappointments and comparing yourself to others, how does this equate to being a better person? The inner critic sets you up for sub-optimal living.

Yes, it is good to learn from your mistakes but it needs to be from a different perspective and standard than that of your inner critic, who finds many ways to rain on your parade. So, what is needed? An astute awareness and consistency on what to keep your attention on throughout your day, in order to maintain inner harmony and peace.

When there is a festering of ongoing agitation, criticism and disappointment in yourself or others, this creates “static”, “disconnection” and “disturbance” in your mind and inner world. Which in turn creates a disconnection from your True Nature or Higher Source.

So the inner critic who thinks it is being helpful, lures you into disconnecting from your inner furnace of warmth comfort and wholeness, which is your soul self (and God Source), through it's critical, condemning and judgmental thinking and ways.

You can reclaim your True Self, which is not the inner critic, by being more mindful of…what you think about; what you continuously place your attention on; and how you act and behave every day to maintain a peaceful mind, heart and presence.

Be the Watchman on the wall of YOUR consciousness (i.e., thoughts, feelings, behaviors). Be the GUARD that does not allow the inner critic to incessantly ruminate and destructively occupy what you think on and feel. This creates a barrier from what you most want in life – inner contentment, fulfillment, connection and a spiritual depth that brings a richness to living.

Try to do the following:

1. Quickly assess a situation or event, make a course correction as needed and surrender the rest to your Higher Self to take charge over.

2. Don’t allow your critic to dictate what you think about! Say “STOP IT” to that inner critic and invite God’s thoughts and grace to filter into your mind by asking your inner soul and Christ self, "how might I deal with this situation at work, home or with self?

3. God’s messages may travel to you in many forms and ways: through your intuition or a book you pick up from the library, a card that comes in the mail, a comment made by a family member or work colleague. God has many means of expressing to us once we ask for assistance.

4. Calm your mind through deep breathing and put the inner critic in its place, subservient to your essential or soul self. So ask your God Presence right within you to guide you in how to tame, and conquer your inner critic. Better yet, ask your inner Higher Source to assist you with maintaining a calm mind!

Questions for Mastering Life’s Adventures ~
How much energy does your inner critic take up in your life?

What might be the unexpected benefits of taming your inner critic?

Be Your Best,
Dr. Judith