Going Within – Where This All Comes From

Everyone has an idea of what they wish for, whether it’s more money or a great relationship or better health, the list can be endless. The problem is that most of us and I was there too, think that we are not good enough or worthy of having our desires come true. So why is that? Thinking again of the Law of Attraction (LOA), we attract into our lives what we believe about ourselves. So although wishing and desiring is good and a first step, I believe the next step is even more important. And that is changing our belief systems about the core of who we are. And how do we do that? Well first you have to be able to identify what your core belief system is. And how do you do that? Well by ‘going within’ and what do I mean when I say ‘going within?’ It’s time to start asking yourself some difficult questions and they are going to make you Very uncomfortable. But let me just tell you, that it is worth it, soo worth it. I have learned, mostly the hard way, that the only way around something is by going through it. You must reach deep inside and bring up all your muck and look at it, sorry that’s it!!! No other way around it. Because if you don’t all the patterns and self-loathing is going to continue to show up in your life. It might come from a different face, or job, or friend, or family member, or unexpected expense, but I promise you it will keep coming to you until you deal with it. That is the Law of Attraction (LOA) at work my friend. You can believe me or not, it doesn’t really matter. It is as true as the law of gravity. If you don’t believe me, just look at your life and ask yourself….’Why does this keep happening to me?” And if you aren’t ready to look at yourself, start with someone you know, whom no matter what he or she does, the same thing happens over and over.

To help you see what I mean, I am going to share some bits of personal information that shaped my core belief about myself that was blocking the flow of attracting what I wanted in my life. Also I must point out that you don’t need to have a horrific childhood to have these core beliefs. In fact many don’t as I didn’t. I had a wonderful childhood. I am very close to my parents and siblings and we have always been there for each other. But I still had terrible beliefs about myself. Mine were, ‘I am not good enough, I don’t matter, and I don’t deserve.’

When I was almost three years old my sister was born. She is developmentally disabled. She also had many health issues as an infant. My parents were very young; my mother was only 24 and now had a toddler and a sick baby. So they did what any loving parents would do, they put all their attention into taking care of my sister. They had to, they didn’t have any other options, unless you consider a doctor telling new, young and scared parents to put their child in an institution and forget about her. UHM…. NO… not in my family!!! We are Italian, we don’t do stuff like that. Family is family is family, that is what I come from. The first months and years of my sister’s life where very challenging to all of us. My parents spent a lot of their time at the hospital and with doctors dealing with these new challenges they were faced with. While I spent a lot of my time with my grandmother, aunts and uncles as I was just too young to be there. Now don’t get me wrong, some of my earliest memories are of spending time with them and I wouldn’t change it for the world. They spoiled me rotten; I will get into that on a later blog. I was very, very loved.

Looking back I get it, but in three year olds mind I felt like my sister was more important than me. As children we don’t have the problem solving thinking that comes as we get older. The world, our world revolves around us and the most important people are our parents. We as children think that if something is wrong, it must be our fault. ‘Why aren’t mommy and daddy around anymore? Did I do something wrong’? So this three year old girl made a decision, she decided that she wasn’t ‘good enough’ or ‘didn’t matter.’ Do you see what I mean? Now of course as an adult I knew that wasn’t true and in fact, I don’t even remember being sad when my parents weren’t around. I recall all the fun I had with my grandma and my aunt Betty. But somewhere in my subconscious I stored that belief and it has been running the show of my life. Every decision, every heartache, every let down, every bad choice I have ever made has been because of that core belief. Can you see this now in your life? Again this is the Law of Attraction (LOA) working. Guess what, whatever you believe, you get to be right! The universe just responded to me and said, “OK Melis, you got it babe, more disappointments and hurts on the way, I just want you to get what you want.” And that is exactly what happened.

In the next blog, I will get into how those core beliefs were running the show of my life. All the wonderful mess-ups, difficult challenges and heartache I went through. Hopefully from this you will start to look at your life and ask yourself the question, “Do I feel deserving of everything I want, and if not, why and where did that belief come from?”