Hinting is not clear communication

Unfortunately, I hear it often from clients and random conversations with friends and other people that they want to consider a person to be clueless or even stupid because that person did not understand them hinting about an issue. Many people do hint and actually think that people that they are hinting to should be able to understand their hints. This is not a healthy way to think because hinting is a communication failure on the part of the person who is hinting. It is not a communication failure if the person being hinted to does not "get it ".

I have actually heard many people and unfortunately more women than men feel offended that their love partner did not get the hint. Some even accused their partner of not caring about their needs. Which in all honesty is ridiculous because hinting is the same as expecting someone to read our mind.

People who hint have communication issues. They are scared to ask for what they want. Their frustration often goes back to childhood. More than likely, they never got what they asked for so they stopped asking for what they want. They felt unloved and definitely invisible. This often leads to the mindset that if a person cares for them that they should not have to ask for what they want from them that the person will just give it to them. All of a sudden love and caring is defined as not needing to speak up because people should be able to read their mind.

A lot of women were not allowed to speak up as a child. I learned this through coaching thousands of clients. Many came from a household that did not consider it lady like if a girl spoke her needs. Parents who believe that children are to be seen and not heard are harming their children because they will struggle in adulthood. They will not be able to communicate due to the trauma of not being allowed to speak up as a child. Women are was taught that a real man would know what she needs without her asking for it. A lot of people think that love is communication but it is not. This is just not reality. I have heard from so many men that they are sick of women not talking and wanting them to read their mind. Yes some men hint but unfortunately, it is a woman's issue mostly.

I know that some people hint because they fear conflict or they do not want to hurt someone's feelings. Truthfully, they just fear speaking their truth. The bottom line is that when we hint, we set ourselves up to be frustrated because we are not speaking our truth. It is the issue of the person hinting alone.

Remember that only when we are clear communicators, will we receive what we want from life. Hinting is about fear. Calling the other party clueless is not fair and untrue. To be truthful it is clueless to think that people can read our minds. Learning to communicate clearly will lead to better relationships with people and a peaceful life.
www.drdonnalee.com