How to make great decisions

Think about a normal day. Think for a moment about how many decisions we are faced with, small things like what to wear and what to have for dinner, through to larger questions about who we spend our lives with, where we work and live. How do we make the best decision for ourselves? How do we make a decision that we can live with and not regret some time down the track? We have all had those experiences, and no matter how much discernment and agonising can go into a decision, sometimes that’s what happens. New information can come to light, situations change and suddenly our choices don’t seem so sound.

One popular way is to make a list of all the positive (or pros) for a decision and the negative (or cons). In reflecting and writing down the key points, the decision can often become clearer. Another way most of us draw upon, particular women is to discuss things over with someone we trust and whose opinion we value. I remember when I was considering giving my daughter an extra year at kindergarten and allowing her to start school a year later, I must have spoken to anyone that had ever had a child in school! It’s funny though but in all those conversations it was one comment by another mother who said “you know, you want to set your children up to succeed” that seemed to make complete sense to me and was exactly what I needed to hear. I made the decision to give my daughter another year in kindergarten and it proved to be a great decision.
Another way to help in your discernment process is to use a form of meditation. I have used this exercise many times and find it very useful. It is drawn from Ira Progoff’s Intensive Journal system and is called “Paths Taken/Not Taken.

Paths taken/not taken.
Find a time and space where you are comfortable and quiet and will not be interrupted.
Spend a few moments just quietening your mind and breathe gently. If you find your mind wandering, just return to your breath.
Hold a decision in your hand, this exercise works best if you have two clear paths or actions such as Job A or Job B, or House A or House B; path A or path B
When you feel you are relaxed and centered, imagine that you are choosing Path A.
Imagine you going down that path. Try and bring as many of the details as possible, bring this reality to life in your mind.
What does it feel like?
Who is in the picture with you?
What is happening?
What does it smell/taste like?
Does it feel happy or sad?
When you feel that you have really felt that experience, return to your breathing and just relax for a few moments
When you are ready, this time imagine Path B, again, go through the same exercise of imagining in as much detail as you can what that decision feels like. Ask yourself the same questions in did in Path A.
When you have really felt that experience, spend a few moments relaxing.

Now imagine that you are seated under a large tree, it is a sunny day and the light gently dapples upon you. Imagine your two hands in front of you, each holding a possibility. How do they both feel in your hands? Does one feel heavier or lighter than the other? Do you have a sense that one decision feels more ‘right’. Perhaps a third path has arisen for you that you may not have thought of before.

If you would like to, jot down some of your initial thoughts and ideas in a journal. If you like to draw or sketch, perhaps you might like to use some art materials to respond to the question. If you like to write poetry, perhaps write a poem. If you connect with nature, maybe a walk in nature may help to clarify things.