Treatment for ME: When Other People Don't Think You Can Get Better

This week I am again inspired by my clients as to what to write about. I was scheduling a session with one of my clients who completed my two month Chronic Fatigue Syndrome programme a couple of months ago - and in one of his emails to me he told me how grateful he was to me that he can really feel his energy and health returning, and is able to do so much more than he could before we started working together.

One of the things he is using his energy for is looking after his own aging parents. And he told me that, as well as being really appreciative of the help, his mother is also worried that he may be overdoing things, and be about to relapse. No matter what he says to her (and of course she knows that he did some intense healing work on himself), she seems to be finding it harder to let go of that image of her son as someone with a Chronic Fatigue Syndrome than he does.

I know that one of the things that was the hardest for me in my recovery from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome was letting go of fear that I would never get better. I had tried so many things, had felt that I was improving, only to be thrown back into the depths of the condition again. And it almost felt as though it was better to not hope again and risk being disappointed again than try something new when it came along (fortunately I never quite gave up hope of recovering, and trying the next new thing!)

For this reason, in the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome programme I have put together, I focus quite heavily on limiting beliefs that can come up when we take steps to heal ourselves. Those little voices that say to us "other people may get better, but not you." "you've tried so many things, so this is just one more thing that won't work." "it's better to stay stuck than risk being disappointed again." Both the Emotional Freedom Technique and energy healing speak directly to the unconscious mind, where these beliefs are held.

I think it's also very powerful to be working with someone who has recovered from this debilitating illness using the same techniques - nearly all of the people I work with tell me how reassuring and inspiring it is to know someone who has actually recovered from this condition.

But even when we release our own fears around recovery, we are surrounded by friends and family members who have known us to be ill for a long time. In a way, I think that people who are close to us have to go through a similar process to those of us who actually have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: the fear and incomprehension of being diagnosed with the condition, followed by an acceptance of being ill. And I suppose that people who love us don't want us to get disappointed by trying out yet another thing that can supposedly help us get better. Or it may be that they are somehow invested (albeit unconsciously) in keeping you ill, for a variety of reasons - maybe to help them feel "strong" and "needed", or just because they've got used to you being ill, and don't like change.

I know that some of my friends were more cautious (on my behalf) than I was about trying new things, spending money on healing sessions - probably because it was so painful to them to see me becoming excited about something new only to be disappointed again. So, what can we do to "educate" our friends and family as we become more well?

Well, one simple thing we can do is explain that we are changing, becoming more strong, and that it would be helpful to be supported in establishing that new view of ourselves. Another thing we can do, if we find ourselves getting upset by other people's refusal to hold it possible that we can be more well and more energetic, is work on strengthening our own knowledge that we really can get better - again, EFT and energy healing reinforce that emerging strength in us. I know for myself that as I became more grounded in my own strength and wellness, I became less affected by others around me.

It's also possible that it may be necessary to move on from some people who are holding you "fixed" as the old you. This of course can be painful - but my own experience is that it can also be empowering and liberating to have people in your life that didn't know you when you were really ill. Several of my new friends have told me that they find it hard to believe I was ever ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - and nowadays, when I write and talk about that time of my life, it does feel as though I am writing about a different person!