Understanding and Dealing with the Subtle Vital Interchange in Human Relationships

We undergo changes of mood, feelings, responses and do not generally try to understand how these changes come about, their source, and impact upon our own state of being. In some cases, we actually associate ’cause and effect’ with an interaction with another individual, such as when we exclaim that we are avoiding meeting a particular person because it is a “draining” experience. This rare recognition is, however, a sign of the deeper interactions that are taking place constantly between people.

We do not tend to recognise that we are subtly influenced in our vital being by the vibrational pattern of the individual(s) we are interacting with, such that we may suddenly have an urge to eat, or experience a form of trepidation or inner discomfort, or feel like taking a nap! People who associate with individuals who use certain forms of recreational drugs frequently describe what they call a “contact high” where they are not themselves using those drugs, but the experience of the individual they are in contact with is communicating the euphoric sensation to them vicariously. Similarly, we sometimes feel a sense of depression looming around us when we interact with someone who is deeply depressed.

On the other side, we can interact with people who are intensely focused on a mental project, or a spiritual state of being, and feel suddenly like we either are concentrated in our being, or we feel a state of profound peace, goodwill, aspiration or consecration, associated with picking up the vibration of an individual or individuals who are themselves in that state of being. Most of this takes place subconsciously so we do not directly tend to associate our internal sense with the external relationship that is actually creating the vital vibratory pattern that we associate with that state.

The spiritual seeker who recognises the reality of this type of vital interchange has several ways to deal with it. Traditionally, the individual is asked to isolate himself from this type of vital interaction to be able to focus on his spiritual development. If one remains active in the world, however, this is not an ideal or even a truly workable solution. For such individuals, the increased awareness of these subtle interactions is a first step to be attained; thereafter, he can exercise various forms of vital protection through strengthening of the aura, or through mental or spiritual control that recognises the force coming in, but consciously rejects it and its influence.

Sri Aurobindo observes: “No, people are not conscious of these things, only a few are. The vital exchange is there, but they are not aware of it — because they live in the external mind (physical) and these things go on behind. Even if they feel more energetic after an interchange or depressed or tired, they would not attribute it to the talk or contact, because the interchange is unconscious; their external mind in which they live not being aware of it.”

“I don’t suppose people are at all aware of this occult commerce. Some like Daudet may observe the expenditure or throwing out of forces, but not the pulling or the effect on others. The idea of mental interchange is familiar though only of the superficial kind, not the silent action of mind on mind which is always going on, but the vital impacts are known only to a few occultists. If one becomes very conscious one can become aware of the forces acting in and from all around, e.g. forces of joy or depression or anger.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, The Hidden Forces of Life, Ch. 1 Life Through the Eyes of the Yogin, pp. 17-18