I used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ... Views: 1467
If I told you that there was one simple word that could prevent anger from arising would you be interested in discovering what that word is? Or in the event that anger showed up without warning, this same word could easily subdue it and restore your sense of calm? Would you utilize this ... Views: 1466
Difficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others ... Views: 1463
While it's important to understand, express, manage, diffuse, and heal your anger, imagine how
much easier it would be to prevent outside forces from irritating you from the get go? You can learn to be emotionally unaffected by the drama and chaos around you. Rest assured, I'm not suggesting ... Views: 1458
When something goes wrong in your life, who do you blame?
“I’m in so much debt because the economy is bad and everything is so expensive. It’s not my fault”
“My mother always criticized me when I was a child. That’s why I suffer from low self esteem and make so many bad choices.”
Sadly, ... Views: 1453
I've spent over twenty years working with families as a spiritual life coach. Many of my clients divulge painful or embarrassing situations that their families are struggling with, believing there must be something wrong with them since other families they know appear so well adjusted. I assure ... Views: 1449
I abhor arguing. It's a waste of precious time and energy and robs me of my serenity. Conflict, however, is horse of another color. Conflict occurs daily in each of our lives. It simply means that there is a disagreement, a difference of opinion. My husband and I engage in disputes on a regular ... Views: 1446
Years ago, there was a major campaign in schools teaching children to tolerate the difference of others. It was an attempt to create a more comfortable and conducive environment for children of all cultures and ethnic backgrounds to coexist peacefully. I suppose some good came of it but still ... Views: 1445
As a child I was taught that anger was a bad emotion but I've have since come to understand that there are no bad feelings. All emotions have purpose and value as they teach us about ourselves based on how we react to external events. We assign value to each depending on how people act them out. ... Views: 1443
My guest on my radio show today, Dr. Erica Kosal, has been dealing with the devastating illness of her husband, Jim, for the past five years. Understandably, she has experienced a wide range of emotions including stress and anger. But this college professor and mother of two refused to allow ... Views: 1443
No matter where you go in life, you'll find that humans share similar goals: we are all seeking happiness, success, good health, wealth, and love. Some are fortunate to acquired some or all of them. And yet as quickly as we obtain them we can lose them or they can disappoint and hurt us. You ... Views: 1441
I've been presenting seminars on understanding and healing anger for 25 years and it never ceases to amaze me how much misinformation is circulating about one of life's most powerful emotions. Lack of accurate facts and techniques can have serious repercussions in every aspect of life from ... Views: 1436
Not everyone likes change. Some are comfortable precisely where they are and prefer to stay within their comfort zone. Others are more adventurous and enjoy a good challenge. They are more open to trying new things in order to experience something new or perhaps to learn something that will ... Views: 1431
The recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, is one of unspeakable horror. The latest in what appears to be an alarming trend of mass murders in American communities is, in my mind, the most gruesome - due not only to the sheer numbers of lives lost but more significantly because of the tender ages of the ... Views: 1426
Currently there is a commercial on TV where a cheerful woman visits her new neighbor with a homemade pie. She states that she has actually come by not to simply welcome the woman into the neighborhood but to see if in fact she might be weird in some way. The smiling neighbor inquires as to ... Views: 1423
Most people I know want to be happy. I say most because there some who are really miserable and seem content remaining that way. They resist every opportunity for joy and find excuses to stay stuck in their gloom. Although I believe that deep down inside every human being desires happiness, I ... Views: 1417
We all get angry from time-to-time. Sometimes our anger is righteous, that is to say it is justifiable and other times without valid cause. For instance, imagine your child is late returning from an evening basketball game. He does not call to let you know that the game went into overtime. ... Views: 1411
At one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ... Views: 1400
I recently read an article that described depression as "a psychological reaction to the violent deformities of the modern world." I found that statement deeply provocative and began to ponder it's meaning. "Anger turned inward" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I do not subscribe to the belief that ... Views: 1395
We could all use a few suggestions for dealing with those difficult coworkers, obnoxious family members, or challenging neighbors that find their way into our lives. Some really know how to push our buttons and bring out the worst in us; others are stubborn or opinionated; still others can be ... Views: 1393
I find it amusing that very often when I'm scheduled to do a radio show or present a lecture I'm speaking on a subject matter that reflects a lesson I need reminded of. Today's show is no exception. I'm one who is slow to anger and quick to forgive. However, occasionally I find myself trapped in ... Views: 1393
Road rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ... Views: 1387
"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ... Views: 1386
It's hard to avoid getting angry. Even those who are relatively easy going find themselves irate from time to time. At the most inopportune moments, anger can rear its ugly head and create all sorts of havoc in our lives. Consider these examples:
You've been under extraordinary amounts of ... Views: 1380
There have been times in our lives when most of us have struggled with issues of guilt or shame. I have. The night my mom and I put my dad into a nursing home was by far one of the worst moments in my life. To a great extent this was due to the extreme guilt I was feeling over my perceived ... Views: 1374
People become defensive at the thought of someone telling them or implying that they must change. "I am who I am; take it or leave it" is often the response. "I'm not changing for anyone. Except me for who I am or don't be in my life." While many view these comments as signs of self-confidence - ... Views: 1370
Conflict: one of the most feared words in the English language and sadly one of the most misunderstood as well. My mission: to bring deeper awareness to this benign term, to remove all preconceived negativity associated with disagreements, and to reinstate it's position of value in our ... Views: 1369
While conducting research for today's show, I found fourteen of the most common reasons people get angry. Keep in mind, these are only the triggers. Outside circumstances are never the actual cause. There are three root causes - hurt, fear, and frustration - that prompt anger in us. Let's ... Views: 1367
Forgiveness is oftentimes misunderstood and difficult to put into action. For some, when another offends or betrays them, moving beyond the anger and the need to get even can feel impossible.
Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of all anger, pain, bitterness, and negative feelings ... Views: 1367
Recently, I've been driving into NY City to do mediations for a large clothing manufacture on Madison Ave. I used to teach classes at the Learning Annex and some of my son's doctor's were in the city as well. However, it's been awhile and as incomprehensible as it may sound, NY has become even ... Views: 1361
I have a family member who has issues with me (Go figure!). We got along well our entire lives but many years ago, “C’s” attitude towards me changed dramatically and with no explanation.
All communication between us ceased (“C’s” choice, not mine) and family get-togethers became extremely ... Views: 1360
I've been teaching people about anger for nearly twenty five years. What I do is commonly referred to as anger management training. However, this implies that people must first become irate and then seek methods of how to manage it effectively, express it appropriately, and ultimately put it to ... Views: 1359
For more than a month I posted her picture on my social media sites. "Please open your heart and adopt 'Odette'. She is a precious yorkie/poodle mix rescued from a puppy mill." Her photo didn't do her justice. She sat huddled in the back of her cage at RBARI shelter in Oakland, her tortured life ... Views: 1353
Although we often classify a person's actions as problematic, in truth a person's conduct is never the real problem. Behavior is nothing more than an outward expression of an internal issue. For example, if an individual is in a bad mood and arguing with those around them, the fighting simply ... Views: 1349
Forgiveness: so many misconceptions and misunderstandings; so many who believe forgiveness is reserved for a chosen few or must be preceded with an apology. Still others feel at times that it is impossible or worse, that there are those not deserving of its graces. And so they suffer...all of ... Views: 1348
Conversations can be risky at times. The more sensitive the topic, the more delicately we need to approach it while maintaining a truthful and honest demeanor . The subtle balance between being blunt and abrasive or being effectual is one that many are not equipped to navigate.
In my more ... Views: 1348
I sent out an email about my upcoming show, The Illusion of Anger, and was met with an angry response. "Anger is NOT an illusion! People die from anger!" he wrote. I am well aware of that. However, that is not the illusion I'm speaking of. According to Webster's dictionary, anger is a feeling ... Views: 1348
Ducks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar ... Views: 1347
Is there someone in your life that you either refuse to forgive or are having a hard time with? I've often heard people make statements such as "I'll never forgive them for what they did!" Or, "Some things should never be forgiven." Still others feel that some people simple do not deserve ... Views: 1343
I used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ... Views: 1335
People often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, "Why would you and how are you planning to?"
Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. "No one likes my sister-in-law and I'm going to ... Views: 1334
Last week, I spoke before a group of business professionals about dealing with difficult people. It seems that no matter where we are in life, whether at home with our families, in social settings, at work, or just out and about, we encounter challenging and obnoxious people. The first issue we ... Views: 1332
When I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they ... Views: 1331
Conflict is a natural and even healthy aspect of life. It enables us to see another perspective of an issue, to creatively discuss and seek solutions to our differences, to learn to be open-minded and flexible, to practice the fine art of compromise or in some instances to graciously concede to ... Views: 1328
I'd be hard-pressed to find anyone who never experiences stress. Most of us become frustrated when things don't go the way we planned or when others don't comply with how we want them to be or behave. A sense of losing control triggers feelings of uncertainty within us. Mild anxiety, or ... Views: 1327
"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ... Views: 1325
I was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent ... Views: 1321
At one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ... Views: 1320
Wouldn't it be wonderful if every time we disagreed with someone we could actually win when arguing? For many, disagreements are viewed as a battle of intelligence between two opposing forces. Each having what they believe to be a strong and valid position on a topic, they engage in verbal and ... Views: 1318
I begin each day in prayer. It is a vital part of my life. Mine are not the typical "gimme" prayers. I have matured beyond the childish requests of wanting my every wish granted. (With the exception of - I'm still praying for that pony for Christmas!) I've learned that what I'm seeking may not ... Views: 1318