“Don’t get your knickers in a twist” is one of my favorite sayings. To myself, sigh. Because frankly, I find myself too often getting my proverbial “knickers” all twisted up over something that’s just not that big a deal. My passionate hobby is dance. Ballroom, to be specific. The other day, I ... Views: 14
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away--well, no, actually right here on Planet Earth, and not all that long ago, there was a thing called a “typewriter.” It was the precursor to our beloved computer keyboards and required no electrical energy, no wires, no plug-ins, nothing but your fingers ... Views: 32
Thanksgiving is traditionally a time to give thanks. Most of us are pretty good at that. We can usually always find people and situations in life that inspire us to be grateful. Until certain relatives show up for Thanksgiving dinner. Or the supposed friends you wish you hadn’t invited but felt ... Views: 78
It’s a funny thing about life. Sometimes when you get the things you wanted – the sporty car, the big house, the bling – it turns out they interfere with the life that you wanted to live.
Friends of mine, a couple, were all excited about moving to a new city. Their work was now all remote, so ... Views: 103
Last week, I had a rather nasty disagreement with a colleague. Even though it got resolved – well, sort of – I found myself going over and over it in my mind. For days. Not a productive path to mental well-being, no way, no how.
I realized, somewhere amid my internal grousing, that I was ... Views: 128
Apart from writing, my dogs, and life generally, my great passion is Ballroom dancing. A totally off-the-wall pursuit, no doubt, but one that truly lights me up. In addition to my primary instructor and competition partner, I have the privilege of a second instructor, a lovely and talented ... Views: 159
We rarely enjoy change, even when we want that change. We will usually find any excuse we can to avoid the necessary steps to whatever that change may be.
For example, given that it is light so much earlier in the day, I’ve been attempting to get up earlier lately. Sigh. For me, getting up ... Views: 189
Some days it feels like life is one endless hamster wheel, where you go round and round and round in the same way day after day. You know the drill: chores-work-kids-chores-bed, rinse and repeat. Oh, sure, there’s the occasional crisis to change things up, maybe the occasional vacation or happy ... Views: 182
We are a quick-fix species, we humans. We want ‘it’ – whatever ‘it’ is – NOW! The money, the lover, the job, the car, the child to behave, the partner to behave (oops!), the boss to quit micro-managing: the list goes on and on.
So too with self-care. Few of us think of what self-care really ... Views: 201
The Holidays are long over, New Year’s came and went, Super Bowl happened, Valentine’s Day is but a dim recollection, so what’s next? Ah yes, tax season . . .
Let’s not all rejoice at the same time. Well, not me, anyway. As a self-employed, I now need to plow through all my receipts, sort ... Views: 197
I learned an amazing new technique from my massage therapist Tammy recently. No, not yet another way of ironing out my body ‘kinks,’ although she is pure genius when it comes to that. On the contrary, this had nothing to do with massage, and everything to do with life.
Ready? Here goes. ... Views: 256
The great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. The not-so-great thing about a New Year is we get to make a fresh start. Which we often abandon within a month or so. We then feel guilty or bad about ourselves for not being able to stick with whatever it was.
But what if you ... Views: 263
It seems the topic uppermost in so many of our minds at this time of year is stress. AKA Holiday stress. Too many gifts to buy, too little money. Too many cards to send out/email, gifts to wrap, people to visit – too little time. Too many relatives and others to be considerate of –
too little ... Views: 243
Nobody likes to be told they are wrong. We all believe, in our hearts of hearts, that we are right, no matter how logically misguided we may be. So why do we so often voice an objection to something our partner, friend or co-worker says with an immediate: “You’re wrong!” Often followed up by, ... Views: 305
As I stood in line waiting for a table last week, a couple of people were leaving the restaurant. One of them was complaining about the food, the few waiters, and how long it took to get their order. Meanwhile, the other person was saying: “Gosh, I don’t know. I liked the variety of the menu and ... Views: 314
I was having a pity party the day before a Ballroom Dance Competition. It was hot, I was tired, my legs were sore, we hadn’t rehearsed enough, I’d never remember all my steps, and on and on. I was being such a grump even my dogs were avoiding me. Fine. I can take a hint.
I settled on the ... Views: 295
Amid the pandemic, when we were for the most part quarantined, urged to remain indoors as much as possible, I had an overwhelming urge to get out into nature. Living as I do in Southern California, I figured I could go find a beach and stare at the ocean for a bit without breaking any quarantine ... Views: 284
A dear friend was lamenting the state of the world these days, and indeed, the wars, shootings, political and legal wrangles are disturbing to those who want peace and prosperity for all. In addition to the natural disasters which seem constant: fires, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes.
And ... Views: 469
So often, it seems like the world presses against us, day in and day out. Work duties, family obligations, endless chores, finances, on and on. Who has time for anything as frivolous as deliberately “finding happiness”? Much less “living your joy.” Like, when? How? And why would it even matter ... Views: 351
The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound is hardly useful these days, given the wonders of CGI. And yes, invisibility might still be useful, but what if you forgot how to be visible again? Far better is to look inward for your superpower, not outward. To your truth, to what serves ... Views: 402
My morning was supposed to be devoted to writing a report for one of the trial attorneys I consult for. The work takes concentration and focus, as my conclusions influence how the case is developed. It’s important, it matters, I need to do it well. But “life” was having none of it . . .
The ... Views: 359
To say it’s been a strange year is an understatement. Even stranger than last year, because most of us expected that 2021 would see an end to the global pandemic and political unrest. Not! So here we are, still in the world-wide chaos of COVID and politics, wondering what new disaster will ... Views: 325
I came across a quote recently by Alan Cohen I think is pure genius: “When you reframe problems as projects, they will cease to bother you and begin to stimulate you.”
Pure genius for me, anyway, as it put my recent experience with a badly strained hamstring in perfect perspective. There I ... Views: 321
We may not be out of the pandemic quite yet, but many of us are carving out a “new normal” for ourselves. Because let’s face it, life is not going back to what it was a mere two years ago. This actually is a good thing, because we have the opportunity to make new decisions, new choices for how ... Views: 371
Lunch at a restaurant! With a friend, live and in person! A restaurant with indoor seating, no masks required for the vaccinated. OMG, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. After the long year of home-cooking (not much variety there), take-out (fun from time to time, not all the time), and ... Views: 436
It’s easy to wonder about the future of our nation, or even the world, when we observe younger people engaged with their devices 24/7, seemingly uninterested in anything but the latest “trending” or selfie. How will future generations thrive given what seems to many as their selfish attitude of ... Views: 374
In a recent interview, actress Candice Bergen spoke about how her beauty, and the way others react to it, challenged her self-development, as no one seemed to care much about what she thought or her opinions. They were too bedazzled by her face.
I can relate. Candice was one year ahead of me ... Views: 562
Just when you thought things were going to get better, the pandemic surged, causing yet again a slew of restrictions right in time for the Holidays. No, really?! It feels like 2020 can’t find its joy, not even a tiny sparkle of happiness, nothing to light up the Holidays. No family ... Views: 521
A friend of mine broke her upper arm recently. Considering she’s a massage therapist who’s been out of work on and off all year due to COVID, plus having a hastily re-organized virtual wedding as opposed to the long planned-for wedding of her dreams, along with the death of her beloved ... Views: 655
My best friend and I had a vigorous discussion recently about the relative merits of process versus results. She was extolling the virtues of process and processing, and I was nattering on about “results, results, results.” Yet the obvious conclusion at the end of our conversation, was that both ... Views: 542
We all know that just as there are words which uplift and enthrall us, there are words which can hurt and demean us. But did you know that there is one four-letter word that actually kills?!
No, it’s not that four-letter word, it’s the word “can’t.” The word “can’t” kills dreams, hopes, ... Views: 631
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.
It was one thing to engage our ... Views: 553
“To open or not to open, that is the question.” Shakespeare is probably rolling in his grave at my lamentable misuse of his famous “To be or not to be” but these days “To open or not to open” IS the question. And it is driving most of us absolutely crazy.
It was one thing to engage our ... Views: 565
Given my work as a trial consultant, I typically spend a lot of time on airplanes and consequently, in airports (at least until the COVID-19 outbreak). I was in an airport somewhere in the Midwest when I saw a fellow traveler wearing a t-shirt with words that I found positively brilliant: “I’m ... Views: 706
If there’s one thing I noticed about our sheltering-in-place time, it’s that complaining did absolutely nothing about it. Zip. Nada. Complaining about the lack of work didn’t magically produce more work, ditto lack of income. Complaining about the ordeal – pardon me, challenge – of ... Views: 666
Our world is riddled with fear and anxiety. Finances. Aargh! How will we pay the rent/mortgage or have money to pay for food when we're out of work? We're lonely and miss the times when we could be with our friends and family. If we have kids, we agonize over what kind of impact the lockdown is ... Views: 630
My front window gives onto the street, and every day I see people walking their dogs. Maybe a half dozen folk in all, giving their pups some exercise. But over the last week, since California went on “lock-down,” I’m utterly amazed by the number of people walking. With dogs, without dogs, with ... Views: 904
Something Oprah Winfrey said in an interview I stumbled across recently really hit home with me: “What is the next right move?” She was talking about how to handle disappointments, even failures, and the point she was making is how useless it is for us to dwell on whatever-it-was, but rather to ... Views: 783
How about if this Valentine’s Day you upped your game? What if, instead of--or in addition to-- focusing the intensity of your love on that one special person in your life, you turned the spotlight of your love onto your life! Your whole life, all of it, every aspect of it. If rather than ... Views: 665
My resolution for the New Year is actually very simple: The 20 Minute Rule. It means I no longer allow myself to worry over anything for more than 20 minutes. Anything. Not the state of my health, finances, relationships, the world – anything.
Why should this rank as a valid resolution? Well, ... Views: 639
The holidays can sometimes feel like one long list of obligations. You have to figure out which gifts to get for whom and how much you can afford to spend. You have to write holiday cards/notes/emails at least to some people, once again figuring out what to whom.
You have to figure out which ... Views: 676
Some of you may remember who Betty Crocker was. For those of you who don’t, Betty Crocker was a fictional character, created in the 1920s to give a friendly face to cooking and baking products. She was a cultural icon right through the mid-90s. To many over the decades, she represented kindness ... Views: 660
Halloween is almost upon us, and grown-ups are planning Halloween parties, while kids of all ages figure out what costume to wear and whether to trick or treat. For all the fun we have at Halloween, it is still a day in remembrance of all things scary; ghosts, zombies, witches, spells and ... Views: 995
As a peace-loving Libra, I’m always looking for ways to minimize conflict, ways for us to get along better, regardless of our differences.
So I was quite taken with a post a friend forwarded to me: “Explain your anger, don’t express it, and you will immediately open the door to solutions ... Views: 1184
Someone cuts you off in traffic, you get stuck behind the person with 30 items in the 10 items or less line, your hair dryer fails in the middle of your blow-dry, the cat throws up on your favorite shirt, and every time you say to yourself, gritting your teeth through it all, “Yup, just my ... Views: 817
How do you see yourself? As a hero or a victim? In any given life circumstance, you can see yourself either way.
I recently moved into my new home. As is often the case with a “new” home, that is to say new to me, although built in the mid 1960s, it has what is euphemistically referred to as ... Views: 733
It’s inevitable: if you interact with other human beings, you’re going to be subject to an assortment of slights, glares and smirks (if not downright rude gestures). Whether their behavior is intentional or not, the driver that cuts you off, the person in front of you in the “15 items only” line ... Views: 943
You can hardly go anywhere these days without someone wanting to talk politics: local, national, global. The internet keeps us apprised of seemingly everything that’s happening everywhere on the planet at every instant--every tweet, photo-op (legit or not) and glitch.
All this is fine if it ... Views: 777
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching--along with all the romance, roses and chocolate traditionally part of the day's celebration.
But here’s the thing. Why should Valentine’s Day be reserved for romance alone? Why don't we celebrate love itself?
A Canadian resident, Karri Carberry, 19, was ... Views: 724
We have a new neighbor on our hill. I met him the other day when I was taking my beloved old puppy--whose arthritis prevents him from getting a walk--out for his drive. My neighbor was walking his three pups down the hill, so of course as mutual dog lovers, we had to stop and have a ... Views: 822