"Sometimes we use words carelessly and actually affirm what we don't want, rather than what we do want..." Dennison & Dennison

Through language and feeling we communicate and create our experience.

Words and phrases like have to, should, can't, must, ought to, always and never communicate stress, doubt, frustration, anger and other limiting emotions.

If your results are short of what you desire, listen to your language and stop "shoulding" on yourself.

I invite you to do a little self research.

Just for today, notice how often you use these powerless words and phrases, which are incongruent with what you really desire. Write them down on a piece of paper and burn the paper as a way of communicating your intention to speak from your Power.

Here are some better alternatives.

I will
Yes, and
And, yet
When
Do your best
Plan to
Expect to
Choose to
Get to
Appreciate
Love to
Desire
Challenge
Going to
Enjoy
Creating
State the actual facts - There were 4 errors on the last report.

When I first understood how my language reflected my unconscious desires, I embraced the "get to" substitute for should and have to. "I get to do the laundry." Sounds humorous. Yet, the truth is, we always (one of a few proper uses of the word always), have a choice.

You don't "have to" go to work. Just say you are "going to work."

One more fun research activity

I demonstrate the physical response to words by checking (I use the word checking versus testing, because testing is stressful for most people) the strength of a muscle, usually the deltoid.

You can have someone push on your arm with about 2 pounds of pressure or you can check yourself.

Hold a 2 to 5 pound weight, with a straight arm, just below shoulder hight. See if you can notice the difference when you say, "Let's meet tomorrow" versus "I can't meet with you today." Use a heavier weight if you have a challenge (versus a problem) noticing that one is easier to hold, for a minute, than the other.

If you feel heavy at the end of the day. Listen to your language.

You can loose 10 pounds without going on a diet. Just change how you speak about what you are doing.

Have fun with it.

Author's Bio: 

Jo Anna Shaw is a people development expert and mind-body coach with a 20 year banking career prior to 20+ years as a mind-body coach. She helps individuals and organizations implement self-directed systems that empower personal, team and organizational bests. www.joannashaw.net.