Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Father Wounds: Can A Man Lack A Sense Of Self-Ownership If He Had An Abusive Father? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for a man to be easy-going and ‘nice’, with him having the tendency to do what other people want. In general, he could act as though he is nothing more than an extension of others. By being this way, he is likely to often do things that he would rather not do and be ...
Views: 280 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Can A Mother-Enmeshed Man Feel That He Is Betraying His Mother If He Ends Up In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Feb 03, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was to end up in a relationship with a woman who he is very fond of and is starting to love, it doesn’t mean that every part of him will be on board with this relationship. Along with the part of him that feels that he is doing the right thing, can be another part that feels as though ...
Views: 280 - Child Abuse: Why Would An Abusive Parent Only Abuse Their Child/Children? - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that someone could wonder, if they were abused as a child, is why one of their parents abused them but treated others differently. They could see that while this parent was not always pleasant to others, they were not abusive toward them. Therefore, they might have had moments when ...
Views: 279 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Feel Worthless If He Had An Abusive Mother? - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was to step back and reflect on how he experiences life, what could soon stand out is that he doesn’t feel as though he has any value. He could see how this has held him back when it comes to his career and his relationships with the opposite sex. He might have continually made one ...
Views: 279 - Child Abuse: Can An Abusive Parent Have A Narcissistic Defence? - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may see, after taking a closer look at their early years, is that they were not treated very well by one of their parents. After coming to see this, they could have the need to talk to them about what happened. This might then be a time when this parent is able to truly be there ...
Views: 278 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Focus On His Mother To Keep His Pain At Bay? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen a man is overly focused on his mother, from the outside, it might appear as though he is choosing to live in this way. In general, he could create the impression that he is happy to be there for his mother and that he loves her. Consequently, it might not be uncommon for people to say ...
Views: 278 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Why Would A Mother-Enmeshed Man Feel That He Would Die If He Lived His Own Life? - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man, who is overly focused on his mother’s life, was at the stage where he is aware of what is going on and is able to step back and reflect on this behaviour, he could find that not behaving this way is seen as something that would lead to his demise. He is then going to have two options: ...
Views: 278 - Child Abuse: Why Would Someone Be Mistreated Both As A Child And As An Adult? - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAfter someone has been treated badly as a child, the same thing could take place now that they are an adult. Therefore, the hell they experienced very early on won’t be over, it will have simply continued. However, it might not cross their mind that their adult life is very similar to their ...
Views: 277 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Has A Mother-Enmeshed Man Been Brought Up To Feel Comfortable With One-Sided Relationships? - by Submitted on May 13, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is in a position where he does a lot for his mother and very little for himself, he is going to be more like his mother’s parent than her son. As with a parent-child relationship, he will be giving a lot but he won’t receive a great deal back. Now, of course, if he was her parent, ...
Views: 277 - Negative Feelings: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Be Attached To ‘Negative’ Feelings? - by Submitted on May 13, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were able to step back and reflect on how they usually feel, is that they have the tendency to experience ‘negative’ feelings. So, they could often feel rejected, worthless, unloved, hopeless, helpless and abandoned. That’s not to say that these feelings will ...
Views: 277 - Critical Thinking: Is It Time For Humanity To Realise That They Have An Unconscious Mind? - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf the average person was asked to explain what it means to be human, they could say that it involves having a physical body and an intellect or something similar. Therefore, who they are will be a combination of what is going on in their head and what keeps this part of them in place. By ...
Views: 276 - Disembodied: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be Disembodied? - by Submitted on Dec 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to live in their head and to have a weak connection with their body. In fact, this part of them can be seen as simply being there to support their head. By having the tendency to live in this way, it can mostly be as though they are nothing more than an ...
Views: 276 - Emotional Desert: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Live In An Emotional Desert? - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they often feel alone, ignored and unsupported. Now, this could be a sign that they don’t have many friends and spend a lot of time by themselves, or it might not be this black and white. If they can relate to ...
Views: 276 - Abandoned: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Abandoned? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could rarely spend time by themselves, with them preferring to spend time around others. Along with this, they may have been in a relationship for most of their life. This could show that they have been with one person for a long time, or they may have been with a number ...
Views: 275 - Child Abuse: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Live In Their Head? - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone doesn’t have a strong connection with their body, they are not going to be in touch with a big part of them. It is this part of them that a number of their needs and feelings will be found. Taking this into account, not having a strong connection with this part of them is going to ...
Views: 275 - Child Abuse: Someone Be Emotionally Disconnected If They Had A Parent Who Was Emotionally Blind? - by Submitted on May 21, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs an adult, someone may be in a position where they don’t have a strong connection with their feelings. If this is the case, they are going to miss out on a lot of valuable information. The reason for this is that this part of them is there to provide them with feedback. This feedback will ...
Views: 275 - False Self: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone’s True Self To Be Dominated By Their False Self? - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhile someone’s life can be an expression of their needs and feelings, it can also be an expression of the needs and feelings of others. When it relates to the former, this will be their real self, and, when it relates to the latter, this will be their unreal self. Naturally, when someone’s ...
Views: 275 - Love: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Unconsciously Look For Love? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though just about everything that someone does can be a way for them to try to be loved, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Instead, they can just see themselves as someone who is highly motivated and wants to be successful. Being this way can mean that will ...
Views: 275 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Have A Fear Of Overshadowing His Mother? - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man spends most of his life doing things for his mother and overlooking his own life as a result, he is unlikely to have much of a life himself. He will be an individual with his own life to lead but that will be as far as it will go. So, as opposed to being the leading character in his ...
Views: 275 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Imprisoned By His Own Lack Of Development? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was brought up to be there for his mother and to take care of a number of her needs, it probably wouldn’t have occurred to her that he was an individual who had his own needs and, over time, his own life to lead. Of course, when he was born, it is likely to have occurred to her that he ...
Views: 275 - Relationships: Can Developmental Trauma Take Away Someone’s Desire To Attach To Others? - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone is an interdependent human being, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. They can spend a lot of time by themselves and have very little if any interest in being around others. This is not to say that they won’t have any friends but it is likely that they won’t be ...
Views: 275 - Repression: Can Repression Cause Someone To Believe That What Is Going On ‘Out There’ Is Defining How They Feel? - by Submitted on May 22, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is in a position where they feel powerless, they could end up coming to the conclusion that it’s because of what is taking place in their life. For example, they might have lost their job, been through a breakup, or have a friend that lacks boundaries and is controlling. Therefore, ...
Views: 275 - Disconnected: Can Someone Carry A Lot Of Emotional Pain If They Live In A Disconnected State? - by Submitted on May 22, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf one spends most of their time on this planet living in their head, it will naturally mean that they will rarely inhabit their body. In general, then, what is taking place in his part of their being will be a complete mystery. As a result of this, they are not going to have a good ...
Views: 274 - Emotional Needs: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Emotional Needs? - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone is likely to have been connected to and expressed their emotional needs when they were a child, it doesn’t mean that this will be the case now that they are an adult. In general, their emotional needs could be a mystery and, naturally, this will stop them from expressing ...
Views: 274 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Did A Mother-Enmeshed Man Have To Disconnect From His Need To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man typically acts like an extension of his mother, he is likely to seldom if ever truly be seen by her. What this will mean is that she won’t be able to acknowledge that he has his own needs and feelings. It will then be as if the only reason he is on this earth is to be there for her ...
Views: 274 - Being Seen: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Feeling Safe Enough To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone’s physical self will be seen by others, it doesn’t mean that the rest of them will typically be seen by others. What this means is that their inner world, so what their thoughts are about certain things and how they feel, for instance, might seldom be revealed to ...
Views: 273 - Early Deprivation: Can It Be Hard For Someone To Realise That They Were Deprived If Their Parents Were Physically Available? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone was deprived of the emotional nutrients that they needed during their formative years, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of this now that they are an adult. If they were to think about their early years, they could believe that this stage of their life was fine. For ...
Views: 273 - Rage: Can A Man Carry A Lot Of Repressed Rage If He Had An Abusive Mother? - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough a man may carry a lot of rage, this might not be something that he is consciously aware of. But, even if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that this won’t have an effect on how he experiences life. There is a strong chance that he will spend a lot of time in a collapsed physical ...
Views: 273 - Early Deprivation: Can Someone Be Out Of Touch With Their Emotional Self If They Had Emotionally Unavailable Parents? - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAlong with someone’s physical needs, they will also have emotional needs. However, even though this is the case, they can be out of touch with their emotional needs. If so, although these needs will be outside of their conscious awareness, they will still have an effect on how they behave. ...
Views: 272 - Early Deprivation: Can Someone Have A Fear Of Being Narcissistic If They Grew Up With A Narcissistic Parent? - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could do their best to not stand out, to not need much and to be there for others. This can mean that they will often monitor themselves to make sure that they are behaving in the right way. Due to being this way, it is likely to mean that they won’t receive a great deal ...
Views: 272 - Love: Can Early Deprivation Give Someone The Need To Struggle For Love? - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat is not uncommon is for someone to continually end up in relationships with people who are unable to be there for them. Ending up with people who are ‘emotionally unavailable’ is then going to be the norm. The outcome of this is that when they have been in a relationship, they will have ...
Views: 272 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Find It Hard To Attach To A Woman If He Had An Emotionally Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Jun 02, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for a man to only have casual encounters with women, which will mean that he will only share his body and perhaps his mind. This might be the only thing that interests him, with him having no desire whatsoever to experience more. He might sometimes be told that he has ...
Views: 272 - Mother Wounds: Can Mothers Day Be Hard For Someone If They Had An Abusive Mother? - by Submitted on May 16, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, Mother’s Day is a day when they can show gratitude towards their mother for all the things that she has done for them and continues to do for them. This day is then going to be a day of celebration and a special day. What this may illustrate is that their mother is loving and ...
Views: 272 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Embody Their Parents Toxic shame If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were able to detach from how they experience life, is that they have the tendency to feel low. This can mean that they will often feel depressed and they may even have moments when they think about ending their life. They may find that this is how they have been ...
Views: 271 - Mother Wounds: Can Developmental Trauma Cause A Man To Put Women On A Pedestal? - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen a man is around certain women, it might be hard for him to keep it together, so to speak. What this can mean is that during this time, he ends up feeling anxious and can’t function as he normally would. This is likely to be an experience that he has when he is around a woman to who he is ...
Views: 271 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Fear What Has Already Taken Place? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter having recently experienced something that has enabled him to see clearly, a man who is overly focused on his mother may now feel a strong need to live his own life. At this point, he could wonder why it has taken him so long to see clearly. Then again, he could look back and see that ...
Views: 271 - Workaholic: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be A Workaholic? - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could spend a lot of time working, having very little time for anything else. It doesn’t mean that this is something that will cross their mind, though, as it could just be what is normal. And, if they ever do think about how much time they spend working, they could end up ...
Views: 271 - Being Seen: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Don’t Deserve To Be Seen? - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs someone is an interdependent human being, it will be important for them to have relationships where they are seen and heard. When this takes place, not only will their physical self be seen but their inner world will also be seen. This will take place by them opening up about how they ...
Views: 270 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Engaging In Repetition Compulsion If They Are Looking For Their Abusive Parents To See Them? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone grew up with at least one parent who was unable to truly see them, they are likely to have a strong need to be seen now that they are an adult. In addition to this need, though, they can also have a fear of being seen. When it comes to their need to be seen, this will relate to ...
Views: 270 - Childhood Trauma: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That It Isn’t Safe Enough For Them To Exist? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, feeling safe is just going to be part of life and this is likely to allow them to embrace life. However, for others, this is going to be something that they seldom experience and, due to this, it will be a challenge for them to embrace life. What this illustrates is how ...
Views: 270 - Critical Thinking: Is The Coronavirus Being Used To Divide People? - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperBefore the contagion came onto the scene, it wouldn’t be right to say that, as a whole, there was harmony on earth. There were numerous things that a number of people were fighting over. For example, there was the battle between some men and women and between those who belong to one religion ...
Views: 270 - Disconnected: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Disconnected? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIt has been said that someone’s ego allows them to have their own experience on this earth, among other things. Therefore, this part of them causes them to see themselves as separate from everyone and everything. So, while this will allow them to have their own experience, which can be seen ...
Views: 270 - Shut Down: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be In A Shut Down State? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order to truly embrace life, someone will need to have a strong connection with their body and be able to feel. By having this connection and this ability, they will be able to take life in and receive. However, although being this way will be essential when it comes to living a fulfilling ...
Views: 270 - Child Abuse: Why Would A Parent Make Their Child Into Their Parent? - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperNow that someone is an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will have their own life. No, practically their whole life could revolve around their parent or parents, with them behaving more like their parent than their child. Naturally, if a lot of their time and energy is being directed towards ...
Views: 269 - Early Deprivation: Can Someone Wait For Another Person To Take Care Of Them If They Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone is not a child, it doesn’t mean that they will feel like a strong and capable adult. But, if experiencing life in this way is just a normal part of their life, they might not be aware of this. Another part of this is that they might both consciously and unconsciously do ...
Views: 269 - False Self: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Have The Need To Adapt To Others? - by Submitted on Dec 25, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone went on a drive and a road was closed, they would need to change their route. As frustrating as this may be, it would be a minor inconvenience and it would, ultimately, allow them to reach their destination. This is then an example of someone adapting to a situation and, at the ...
Views: 269 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Expect To Be Treated Badly By Women If He Had A Cruel Mother? - by Submitted on May 28, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperOver the years, a man may have had a number of experiences with women that were anything but pleasant. This can mean that he has been in a number of relationships that greatly undermined him. Additionally, there can be all the interactions that he has had, both at work and in his everyday ...
Views: 269 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Have The Need To Hide His Feelings If He Had An Emotionally Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was to take a step back and reflect on how he typically behaves, he could see that he has the tendency to hide how he feels. As a result of this, most if not all of the people in his life are not going to know what is really going on for him. This is going to mean that he will keep a ...
Views: 269 - Mother Wounds: What Can Happen If A Man Was Treated Like An Object By His Mother? - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperAt the beginning of a man’s life, so his formative years, he may have been treated more like an object than a being that had his own needs, feelings and rights and had inherent value. Once, he was born then, his mother and perhaps father may have created the impression that they were happy but, ...
Views: 269 - Mother-Enmeshed Man: What Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Have In Common With A Spartan Warrior? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOver two thousand years ago, in a place called Sparta, males were trained from a young age to fight. As part of their training, they went through numerous challenges in order for them to be moulded into warriors. It then didn’t matter what any of these males wanted to do with their life as ...
Views: 269