An Idea Who's Time Has Come

AN IDEA WHO’S TIME HAS COME
By Bill Cottringer

Thanks to the relatively recent science of neuromarketing, brain research has begun to identify the central role of the reptilian part of the human brain (old brain)—below the thinking and emotional semi-conscious mental activities we gradually become aware of—which is the ultimate decision-maker for what we do or don’t do. And the primary criterion for such pre-conscious decision-making is survival. In this sense, Darwin was at least half right.

I suspect that this is really only half the picture which, when combined with the other half, can tell the whole story of human motivation. It is of paramount important to get things right in understanding human behavior in life, relationships and work. Without a correct, clear and complete understanding of human motivation, we can never cure problems or fix things for the better. Such an understanding must uncover the very basic drives that explain everything else. This is the urstoff of human behavior that we have to get to and understand clearly, correctly and completely before we try to apply our interventions.

What I suspect is the rest of the story. And the rest of the story is that we have another primal motivational center—way down below in the soul—that has an entirely different opposite-appearing drive of thriving. And maybe the heart is the walkie-talkie between these two seemingly exclusive processes, much like a “driver” between computer software and hardware.

Here is what these two basic, fundamental motivations involve:

Surviving—doing things that give us a reasonable sense of assurance in making progress in keeping up with the challenges of life, such as feeling reasonably safe, comfortable, peaceful, happy, successful and content. This amounts to staying afloat by treading water. Surviving involves meeting the basic, lower human needs of safety, security and physical well-being.

Thriving—unfolding our limitless potential by learning, growing and improving into being the best we can be to carry our main purpose in life in helping make it better for everyone. This amounts to swimming life as a fish in water. Thriving involves meeting the higher needs of existence—esteem, belonging, love, empathy, creativity and wisdom.

Now the interesting part of this scheme of human development is that the two primary motives, drives and needs of surviving and thriving have to be fully satisfied in the order they occur or we get dissatisfaction and failure; and the progress we make with the whole journey is dependent upon being successful in the science of survival first, before we can thrive and make ourselves and what we are trying to survive (life, work and relationship challenges), better by learning the art of thriving and being all we can be.

These two primary motives can easily explain everything that we do. And most bizarre or ineffective decisions and actions are because we think we can thrive before we learn how to survive. That is like believing we can run and win a marathon, before we learn to crawl. We are impatient and want to hurry up and be smart and successful and win the whole Kahuna, before we are really in a position to even begin to do so. There is often a huge, annoying gap between where we are and where we want to be, that prompts us to do all sorts of crazy things to close or worse yet, deny or ignore.

But sooner or later every person wakes up to the importance of learning to just be him of herself first—accepting self and others with all our faults, foibles and failures, without being too impatient or too demanding for change. Once we do this we are then better prepared to learn how to thrive in learning, growing and improving to make things better and teach and influence others to do that too. That is the real mind, heart and soul of spiritual progress in our human journey.

This dual motivational process is true because it truly represents the two voices of life—(a) loud, frequent shouts of unconditional understanding, acceptance, compassion and love (from the soul’s thriving drive), and (b) gentile, occasional whispers of encouragement to learn, grow and improve (from the old brain’s surviving drive). Notice the paradoxical application of the solution to solve the central paradox of life—you must become aware of your soul’s thriving drive first, before you can fix the problems and failures of not meeting your brain’s surviving drive, in order to go back and get the sequence and amplitude of the two voices of life correct so that you can meet both needs of the brain and the soul to be wholly successful.

This is why the problems we have are so widespread and why the solutions are so hidden and secretive. In the end, we probably wouldn’t want it any other way, because the whole need and drive of both the brain and soul working together as a team is surprise. Doesn’t your whole being like surprise? Now you know why. You have to become a master of survival before you can become a perpetual student of thriving. Success at meeting both needs is the only way to getting the authentic peace, happiness, meaning, contentment and fulfillment we all search for. This is also the true meaning of becoming self-actualized—the ultimate goal of being human and experiencing life.