Firing Without All The Headache And Heartache

It is Friday afternoon and you call John Thompson in to your office. You have had numerous talks with him but today is the one you dread. Today you need to tell him he is fired. This is quite possibly the worst part of your job; the part that stresses you out the most. And you just think, wouldn’t it be nice if he just quit and I didn’t have to do this?

Is there a way to fire a person that doesn’t make them defensive? Are there techniques you can use that will make them choose to leave without hating you or the company?

Yes and it is NOT by following traditional firing methods. I will show you how to communicate so the other person either takes accountability for their actions and changes or chooses to leave.

TRADITIONAL METHODS
Here is why traditional firing methods DON”T work. There are two common approaches to firing.

The first approach is the SOFT APPROACH. This is where you really hate to lay it on because you know the other person will feel just awful. So you try to point out the good they did and soft shoe the fact that you need to fire them. You might even end up with them consoling you rather than the other way around.
The second approach is the HARD APPROACH. This is where you have pink slips, you have documented everything and you just tell them straight out. You don’t try to cushion the blow. You just want to get it over with. You might even have an escort come to your office, take the person to their desk and have them gone from the building within a couple of hours.

WHY THEY MAY BACKFIRE
With the SOFT APPROACH (feelings based) a person feels like they let you down, that you don’t believe they understand their lack of competency and that you feel they failed. This causes them to either become emotional and overwrought or to become defensive. Many will leave your office, try to sort things out, only remember the positives you said and then turn around and sue the company because they were wrongly let go.

With the HARD APPROACH (fact based) a person feels like you don’t believe they have any capabilities, that you feel you are better than them, that you don’t believe in them as a person and that you feel they are a “problem”. This leads the person to being defensive right off the bat. They will argue with you or sit glumly through it all. Most likely they will go back in their mind and build a case to sue the company by displaying what you DID NOT do to support them in their job.

In either situation, you will most likely end up with a headache and the person being fired will end up with a heartache, which they will try to solve to attacking you.

HOW TO CHANGE ALL OF THAT: THE OUTCOME FOCUS® APPROACH
There is a third approach. With this approach you use OUTCOME FOCUS® COMMUNICATION. With OUTCOME FOCUS® your goal is to have the person be accountable for what is happening and to either accept it or change the situation, but they own the situation not you.

THREE EASY STEPS
1. You must ADD VALUE TO THE OTHER PERSON. This means that they need to feel that you believe they have talents, passions and skills; that they can apply these in the right situation and be a success; that they are in control of finding the right situation for them to explode those talents; and that you believe in them as a person and want them to be happy. This requires BELIEVING the best in the other person.

2. FOCUS ON THE OUTCOME, NOT THE PROCESS OF HOW TO GET THERE. Now in firing this may sound silly because of course firing is all about the process. But here is the problem, when you spend all your energy on HOW you will fire the person; you become defensive in your approach. The focus moves to WHY the other person should be fired and WHY they should listen to you about it. When you focus on the OUTCOME then you move to WHY they should be accountable for their career, their actions and their happiness. It is no longer about you at all; it is about their choices.

3. YOU COME FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE, NOT YOURS. This is the hardest. You clearly know why you want to fire them and why they should be fired, but what is their perspective? Why are they not applying themselves? With firing, it is important that you focus them on moving forward, not on looking back, as forward will be more proactive.

HOW IT LOOKS IN ACTION
Let’s take our example of firing John Thompson. We’ll take two scenarios.

• SCENARIO ONE: The first will assume you have one more chance with him:

Here is how you would apply all three steps.
ADD VALUE
“ John, It is important to me that the people that work for me are excited about their jobs, love coming to work and bring all their passion and skills to the job each day.”

FOCUS ON OUTCOME
“ And I don’t see that happening with you. So my questions is, Is this the place where you want to be? Is this the place where you can bring all of your talent, passion and skill to the best use? Only you can answer that. Do you need some time to think about it or do you feel ready to answer that now?” Let the person respond. Here is the part where they will either choose to leave because they are not happy at work or where they will need to commit to making changes.

THEY WANT TO STAY
“Great, then let’s look at what it takes to show passion, talent and skill at work each day. To me, it means that people will take on extra projects that they will do what it takes to make the teamwork, they are on time to meetings and all work is turned in on time. Currently you arrive 15 minutes late to meetings, you act disgruntled when you are asked to do any extra work and your work is usually turned in late. Talk to me about your ideas on how to change those things? What do you need from me to make it happen?” Make them be ACCOUNTABLE for their choices and what they need to do to fix it. Show them you believe then can handle it. Before they leave your office recap EXACTLY what was agreed to and then follow up on a weekly basis so they don’t slip back.

THEY WANT TO GO
“I completely understand if you feel this is not the place to best use your skills. We all need to make sure that we find the spot where we are happiest and this doesn’t seem to be it for you. Let ‘s chat about how to best go about ending this for both parties.”

• SCENARIO TWO: You have to just get rid of them today whether due to down sizing, lack of skill or they are a bad apple.

ADD VALUE:
“John, it is important to me that the people that work for me are excited about their jobs, love coming to work and bring all their passion, talent and skills to the job each day. And that’s not happening with you. We have had numerous talks about this and we are not at the crossroads where the talk has to end. Today is your last day of employment here.” Then lay out the legal aspects of what will happen, whether your company is giving them severance, what their last official day is, and when they need to have things cleaned up. DON”T GO in to what they did well as this will give them false hope and make them angrier with you in the long run.

Firing is hard on both sides but unfortunately is necessary sometimes. The best you can do is help the other person realize that they are in control of their destiny, they had choices to make and they can choose to make different choices in the future so this doesn’t happen again.