Getting Clear: Do You Need a Coaching Group?

Should you join a coaching group to help you get clear on a critical life decision?

Group coaching is both fun and daring: You lay it on the line with a group of like-minded people, develop a community of support, and get the benefit of group members’ varied experiences and perspectives. It can be challenging and comforting. AND it is a fast lane to change! But it is not for everyone.

Just as individual coaches have their own styles, each coaching group has a different flavor. A successful group experience depends on your alignment with the purpose and structure of the group, as well as practical considerations such as financial and time commitments. Here are some questions to ask when looking for a coaching group:

Focus: Is there a specific area of focus for the group? Are your interests aligned with the group purpose? Does your facilitator have background in the area of your concern?

Individual Attention: How many people will be in the group? How interactive is the group? How will you contribute to the group? Will you get individualized attention by being on the “hot seat” in group discussions and/or through one-on-one meetings with the coach?

Format/Structure: Does the group meet in-person or over the telephone? How often do they meet? How long are the sessions? Are there whole group and small group/buddy meetings? Will the group follow a set curriculum or is the coaching more in-the-moment?

Cost: What is the fee for the group? Is it monthly, per session or a one-time program fee? Are there other material costs? What is the required length of commitment? (Groups may ask you to commit for 3 or more months)

Objective: Very specifically, what do you hope to gain from working with this group? Will this group support your goal?

While a coaching group may be just the thing for you, a formal coaching group isn’t the only means for gaining clarity with the support of peers. Group process has a long history. Indeed, the Quakers have been group coaching – in a very modern way – since the 1600s! I read about their approach and said, “Hey, that’s coaching!” And it’s been in use for hundreds of years.

The tradition is called a Clearness Committee. It’s an approach that honors an individual’s resourcefulness while recognizing that it is sometimes hard to see our way through an internal conflict alone.

To convene a Clearness Committee a person faced with a difficult dilemma gathers a small group of trusted friends in a private meeting. The “focus person” describes her problem to the group, whose members then begin asking questions. No advice, opinions, judgments, stories of their own experience – just questions. The focus person answers each question, leading to other questions, and so forth, as a deeper understanding of the situation is revealed.

The beauty is that the Clearness Committee bypasses the muddle that comes from being bombarded by others' values and well-meant advice. The group untangles the issue through the use of powerful, thoughtful questions that act like spotlights shining into dark corners.

A basic premise of the Clearness Committee is that the focus person already has the answers, but simply needs help seeing through to the roots of the issue. I love this because it mirrors one of the basic cornerstones of my coaching: all clients are naturally creative, resourceful and whole. As a client you do not need to be fixed, and you have the answers although you may need objective help to bring those answers to light.

How might you use the committee concept in your own life? Any time you feel deeply conflicted or stuck is an opportunity to try this technique. How about asking a committee to help clarify whether you should go to grad school? Should you take the new job? Or move? Or get married? Possibilities abound.

To organize your own Clearness Committee, follow the link below to excellent guidelines from Friends General Conference, a Quaker resource organization. (http://www.fgcquaker.org)