A Limited Belief System Restricts Healing Potential

A few weeks ago, when I was using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) working with a telephone client, ‘Anna’, she stated, “Bad things happen to good people: it’s always the good people who get sick”. Now, I have no way of either refuting or proving this, but she believed it and I accepted her belief. Anna has been existing with very severe multiple chemical sensitivities (MCS) for 18 months, showing no sign of improvement. Her breathing is supported by an oxygen tank, and she is unable to tolerate (amongst many other things) any cleaning products, perfumes, moulds and most food. During that first session together, she admitted she felt defeated. And I related to her completely.

When I was housebound and seriously ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), I felt defeated most days during the early stages of my healing journey. I wasn’t healing quickly enough; it was all taking too long, my body had let me down. I felt angry and disappointed because I had always looked after my body with regular exercise and careful food choices. Of course, when I became ill and visited a local Nutritionist for the first time, it didn’t take long to determine two essential facts. Firstly, I was “running on empty”, with exhausted adrenals and secondly, I had a wheat intolerance and gluten sensitivity and was exhausting my body as it struggled to digest all the whole wheat pasta and breads I was consuming on a daily basis.

I felt beaten: if I’d always eaten hamburgers, processed foods and sodas I could have understood why my body was shouting out for change. “My body has let me down” became my deeply rooted core belief and it made me resentful. I repeated it to myself like a mantra with absolute conviction.

Naturally, this is not a healthy perspective! My body was under enormous physical, emotional and mental stress and might have benefited from a level of forgiveness during this unsettling time.

As an EFT Practitioner - working on my own health, and with clients - I’ve come to realize beliefs can become so all-consuming that we focus only on the belief and the emotions generated by the belief, that ultimately, we stall the possibility of recovery. There isn’t an opportunity for healing to take place.

Emotional energy manifests itself on a physical level in the body. In other words, I was in no place to heal when I felt so let down by my body: every cell of my body was resonating resentment and disappointment. Unresolved stress on any level - in my case, feeling let down - impacts the body, exhausting the adrenal glands and compromising the immune and nervous systems, and plants the seeds for serious illness and chronic pain.

When I started working with ‘William’ he was angry that he was in chronic pain after several surgeries. He is a very tall man with a large presence who believed he shouldn’t be “weak and in pain”. He wasn’t able to lift heavy objects or do activities such as mowing the grass. He was un¬comfortable because he couldn’t match people’s expectations of him. During an EFT session, as we tapped, I asked him to repeat the phrase, “I’m open to the possibility my body is doing its best”.

At which William became very cross and said he couldn’t say those words because “if my body was doing its best, I wouldn’t be in pain and I would be able to do what I’m supposed to be able to do.” The distress created by his beliefs prevented him from being able to forgive his body and acknowledge what his body was capable of. Through applying EFT, we worked on the limiting belief that William couldn’t physically do what he was “supposed” to do. After a few minutes, he experienced a wonderful shift, which enabled him to focus on all the activities he was able to do, thanks to his body doing its best.

William’s beliefs about his body size and being unable to do what he was supposed/expected to do probably stem from childhood when he accumulated opinions and attitudes from parents, teachers, peers and anyone in “authority”. What fascinates me about this is we are not born this way: we adapt beliefs as a coping strat¬egy to help us get through life. Certain beliefs are enormously helpful of course - knowing to look left and right before crossing the road ensures my safety. But other beliefs are debilitating and limiting and prevent us from reaching our fullest potential. If someone is seriously ill or in pain, limiting beliefs will prevent the healing process.

This is abundantly clear to me when I work with clients in my practice. Sometimes a new client tells me it’s no wonder she has, for example, diabetes, ulcerative colitis or MS because her mother/grandfather/both sisters, etc have it. In other words, it “runs in the family” and is to be expected. This is a deeply rooted belief inherited from generations preceeding. Using EFT we can explore this belief, neutralize the emotions created by it, and consider how to move forward, instead of being boxed in by the limiting belief.

I always inject forgiveness into the phrases I use with clients, urging them to honour their feelings. This can be very moving for the client: it might be the first time she has given herself permission to respect how she feels, or forgive herself. EFT phrases such as “I want to want to change” or “I want to want to heal” or “I want to want to forgive myself” are very motivational and facilitate permanent shifts in perspective.

I used this double phrasing with ‘Marion’ as we worked through childhood events which may have contributed to the belief she has always been “a pest” to her family and friends. This be¬lief had created an intense self-blame which had controlled decisions she’d made throughout her life. Now in her 70’s, she has CFS, an underactive thyroid and bouts of depression. We were able to reduce considerably the belief she was a burden on her parents, through reframing the hurtful childhood memories and applying EFT. At the end of the session, she said she felt lighter, as though the burden had lightened and she was overcoming the hurdle. That limiting belief had held her back for most of her life and prevented her from emotional freedom.

Unless we clear limiting, deeply rooted core beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of, my sense is that the healing process can never truly begin. When we are free of debilitating thoughts and open to the possibility of change and self-forgive¬ness through using EFT, we have already opened the door to living at our fullest potential.