Accepting Loss and Moving On

You have had a loss...you are in pain, depressed, sad, and just feeling alone. You feel like nobody really understands what you are going through. Have I got it right? Guess what? People do understand what you are going through, because odds are, someone in this world has gone through exactly the same situation as you are; however, this is your loss. This is what makes every loss individual. The good news is, is that there is help out there. There are things that you can start doing immediately to help you accept a loss and move forward. I am not saying it is easy, but it is possible. Take it from me. I have gone through many types of losses and tragedies and I am still here and moving forward. I learn from each loss and move forward to become the person I am meant to be. So can you!

The first thing you need to do once you have a loss is get over the initial shock of the situation. This may take some time. Allow yourself to get over this shock. It is real, whatever the situation. Once you get over this shock, the whole situation may look differently to you. It may be the loss of a loved one or pet. It may be the loss of your health or independence, or someone you know or love's loss of health or independence. It may be the loss of a marriage. The loss of a job. Loss doesn't have to be only the loss of a person. There are so many losses out there that we deal with every single day. The difference is some are small and inconsequential to our lives, and others are major losses that totally change our lives, turning it upside down and inside out. This is why we need to get over the initial shock of the situation. Then, after that, we can look at the situation a little more clearly. This is when we can start trying to accept the loss. Some losses take much longer to accept than others. Give yourself time, but not years. Don't stop living your life. This is why you want to come to terms with the loss and accept it; so you can move forward with living.

What I had to do with my losses is to find something positive in the situation to make ME feel better. Some people think I am crazy when I tell them this, but then they do it, and realize that they are able to find something positive, in most cases. Sometimes it takes longer to be ready to do this. When my brother was killed in a car accident, I was totally in shock. So much so that they had to medicate me and that didn't even work. After the wake and funeral process, I was able to start looking at the whole scenario. Finally, I came up with that he was with his girlfriend who had died several years back from cystic fibrosis. He loved her dearly and was never the same after she died. So, I felt that he was with her, where he wanted to be. It didn't mean that he didn't love us and chose her. For me, this thought just made it easier because I wanted him to be happy. This wasn't about me. It was about him. I loved him so much that I rather have him happy with her. I would always have what he taught me and all the wonderfully amazing memories that I held deep in my heart and soul, that nobody could ever take away from me. He is always with me. Are you getting the idea? This really does help to make you feel better and to accept the situation a little easier.

If your loss is not of a loved one, but the loss of health, marriage or job, etc., you can do the same thing. Find something positive in the situation. If it is a job, maybe this will lead you to the job/career of your dreams. This isn't going to be an easy thing to do, but again, it is very possible and it is the reality of the situation. Losses can make you sink or swim. It is up to you and only you. You make your own happiness. You are in charge of YOU. So, if you want to live the life of your dreams, no matter what the situation, start accepting the situation and LIVE. Find that silver lining in your gray cloud, and ACCEPT your loss.

If you have a story of hope and inspiration after a loss, please share your story. It can be any type of loss, as long as you have accepted and coped with the loss and learned something from it, and have turned a negative situation into something positive. Please send your story to lifeguidanceandsolutions@gmail.com.