If you attract a lover right now, they will be just as screwed up
as you are right now!

People all seem to have a common question about relationships:
“I want a lover who loves me completely, who supports me in
my dreams and goals, who gives me moral support and boosts
me up when I'm down. Where is this person? I want him or her
in my life now!"

With 6.8 billion people on the planet, there is no doubt that
person is out there. With all the social networking that exists
now I have no doubt that you can also be connected easily
with that person. But I also believe that you need to look deeper
into your desire before that ideal person can show up for you.

The desires set forth above are wonderful. They reflect what
we all have in common: the need to be loved, to feel safe
and to be seen. But what is missing is the second side of
the equation: what you can offer the other person. Think about
it, do you really want a person who is so selfless as to simply
exist to support your dreams and goals, and love you completely?
Or, do you want someone balanced, who loves himself or herself
and has the same desire to be supported by another?

That is the key. We are walking magnets that attract everything
to us. We will actually attract precisely the person we are. To
attract the person balanced in self love and love for another, we
need to become that person ourselves.

This is the awareness that most people don't think about! We
usually think about what we want the other person to be and to
give us, but do not think about what we want to bring to them
and be for them. And that's exactly why they aren't showing up.
What shows up is what we are right now.

Here's where it gets really fun – the first person that we need to
be supportive of and unconditionally loving of is our own self!
That is great news because it means that we don't have to wait
for some other person to come along before we can practice the
art of unconditional love. What we do have to do is figure out
how to give it and receive it from ourselves

Loving ourselves is a concept that is not often taught or encouraged.
Yet it is essential if we are to have that kind of a partner. This is
one of those areas of life that the inner shift is created in baby steps;
especially for folks who are accustomed to habitually criticizing
themselves. Take heart though, it CAN be done, and you can start
right now!

Start each day with the commitment to really care for yourself in
your thoughts and emotions. Be kind to yourself; be as gentle as
you would be with a small, innocent, trusting child. Give yourself
the gifts of laughter and love every day. Be allowing and accepting
of who you are. Just this personal kindness alone will start shifting
you, and bringing you closer to your ideal lover. Let yourself be
your first beloved, and your wonderful romantic partner will stroll
into your life, effortlessly and easily.

Author's Bio: 

Rick Schaefer M.D. is an established author and is the creator of Extreme Thought Makeover™ … 37 Days to Maximum Life! He has a life coaching practice, teaching from the principles in his program. Rick also has 19 years experience as a physician, and 14 years experience studying personal development, success, and the Law of Attraction. He now works at the intersection of those two fields by helping people at the root cause of disease … their thinking. He is the father of three, and makes his home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, at the shore of Lake Michigan.

He can be heard regularly on WISN Radio 1130 AM in Milwaukee. He has been President of the Anesthesia Society, has taught at the Medical College of Wisconsin, has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and on National Public Radio, and has been a featured speaker at regional and national success seminars. He has also appeared on the Lifetime TV Network’s “The Balancing Act.”