Are you too hard on yourself?
Do people tell you they really like you, or think you are great at what you do – but still inside you think you are ‘not enough’
Do you criticize yourself to try to motivate yourself, but really all it does is stress you out and get in the way of success?
Here’s the irony: You work so hard for other people to think well of you, and once they do you don’t even take in their compliment.
You work so hard to achieve progress, and once you do, you just set the bar higher and keep working harder. That’s not a lot of enjoyment or peace of mind, just hard work.
Get over your critical inner voice so you can stop the hammering inside your own head and start being your own champion (and not pass your stern voice down to your kids!)
Do this instead:
Be tougher on yourself. Tougher? Yes. :)
When you focus on falling short and what you did wrong, you are dwelling. Dwelling is the easy way out, it’s talking about it but not doing something about it.
You consider yourself a hard worker? Great, work hard at this: Learn from situations by asking questions and acting on the answers.
Let’s take an example: Is there someone you are comparing yourself to who is further along?
1) Is that person making good use of their unique talents? Probably. Are you?
2) Do you have a gut feeling you should be doing something differently but haven’t acted on it? Why not?
3) Have you been too overwhelmed to pay attention to improvement? If you agree with your current priorities, no excuse to beat yourself up. If not, shift priorities to free you up.
4) Has that more successful person worked smarter or procrastinated less? What can you do to be more efficient and take action on what you should?
5) Does that person have a written articulation of what ‘enough’ means to them? In the absence of a clear idea of ‘good enough’ you will always perceive yourself to fall short.
6) What is the tone that person uses to talk to themselves (and therefore the people around them?) How can you make a soundtrack your mental iPod that energizes you?
Don’t beat yourself up and deprive yourself an opportunity to learn. The ‘easy’ way is to dwell, the ‘hard’ way is to make it better.
Let me make the ‘hard’ way EASY for you. In my online interactive Confidence at the Core training, you will get a toolkit to get rid of that negative voice.
You CAN have the confidence to have the success you’ve imagined personally and professionally.
Think YOU can’t get rid of that negative voice in 5 weeks? Read this and see for yourself!
Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. is a business psychologist dedicated to helping talented and successful businesspeople ‘get out of their own way’. Her practical tools are informed by 10 years of research at Harvard Medical School, field tested by over 3000 training participants and applied by hundreds of coaching clients to quickly be more effective, productive, and influential. She is a leading authority in helping business professionals move to the next level and be secure about their contribution in insecure times. http://www.sharonmelnick.com / http://www.horizonpointinc.com