Caution: The Starbucks Police Is Listening

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter you might have seen my post:

"Note to woman blabbing in the corner of Starbucks: The expiration date on blaming you parents for your misfortune is long past."

If you know me at all, you know I'm an observer of the human spirit and the human condition. In today's world of ubiquitous coffee shop public gathering places and loud cell phone conversations broadcasted to anyone within 20 yards, its easy to observe the state of society content and discontent.
I'm thinking about becoming the bitching police at Starbucks passing out tickets with the same comment to hand out as I wade through the cacophony of whining, complaining, bitching, moaning, groaning, judging, blaming, shaming and gossiping about made up shit I hear in the public places I happen upon.

I know there are plenty of healthier, more enlightening and empowering, conversations taking place. It's hard to eavesdrop on those conversations because they're usually expressed in quieter tones. Those who take see themselves as the creator of their life experience are too busy enjoying or making what they want to spend any time tearing what they've got down.

The women and men who create and join one bitch fest after another seem to ramp up the volume so all can hear and share in their sad state of affairs.

The sad thing is, the story never changes. Its full of "I can't because.." and "She did this or that to me", "He never appreciated.." or "It's not my fault that…." - in a never ending monologue of "my life sucks because of these other people". And the 'people' are usually parents.

It would be one thing if I were listening to a bunch of 4-year-olds on the playground. Parents most certainly exercise control over their young children, for better or worse.

No, the future recipients of my citations will be adults on their own living away, often far away, from their parents. Some of them buried Mom or Dad a long time ago. Yet they still live under the rule of dead parents because it never occurred to them to just let the misguided rules and beliefs be buried as well. And they wonder why their lives are at a dead-end.

Since they're acting like a whiney child I'd put them on my lap and lovingly say:
WAKE UP! You're an adult. It's time to move beyond your past. You have all the brains and power within you to live your life as you choose.
You have an opportunity right in front of you to parent yourself in the way you wished you were raised. You can toss aside their rules and beliefs and form your own.

Instead of just sitting there and kvetching about your misery, do something about it. Instead of wallowing as a powerless victim of your circumstance get up of your ass and change your circumstance.

Those sound like harsh words. They're meant to be a wake up call. Open your eyes so you can see who you really are, the beautiful person beneath the harsher criticism you give yourself.

If you've got some stinkin' thinking' goin' on because of yesteryear, clean it up. Freshen up your belief system. Begin by giving yourself lots and lots of positive feedback. Celebrate your strengths, embrace your 'areas of growth'. The day we stop growing is the day we begin to die. Having room to grow is a very good thing.

If you have children take a look at the lessons you're teaching them. Do they in any way shape or form resemble the lessons you've learned (and hated) from your parents? You probably don't realize it but this is how the cycle of emotional circumstance is passed down from one generation to the next.

Think about that as I did when I heard a man scream at his young child in the grocery story. "Put that away, you should be ashamed of yourself."

Shamed people shame people.

Hurt people hurt people.

Consider this: Have you ever said something to your child that he or she completely misunderstood? Yes? Well, guess what you did as a child!

A lot of the stuff you complain so bitterly about is just a bunch of misunderstood stuff. As a child, you didn't understand context. You didn't understand that Mommy or Daddy is stressed or having a bad hair day. You were a small child just doing the best you could.

Even if your parents were miserable people who spewed a bunch of babblecrap upon you, why in the world would you allow their words to run around in your mind masquerading as yours? Don't let the noise of other people's opinion about you drown out your own inner voice. It knows you, the highest version of you that longs to be expressed, by heart.

Learn how to reach for a better and healthier perspective. Change the story of you. In so doing, you'll change your life.

If you can't go back into your past and make the details pretty, make the whole beautiful as you continue forward.

And let me sip my double shot non-fat latte with extra foam in peace.