How Exercise Got Rid of My Anxiety

It was a totally arbitrary Wednesday night when I was in college. It was going on about the 200th straight minute of tossing and turning in my bed in a futile attempt to get some rest before my 8 AM Video Production class the next morning. I wasn’t worried about an exam, I wasn’t going to fail any of my classes, I had finished all of my homework – I wasn’t concerned with anything that had any serious bearing on my academic performance; rather, I was kept up by bizarre fears of inadequacy, injury, misfortune – literally the most preposterous thoughts about the most improbable things that could happen to someone: “What if I oversleep one day before my Senior year and can’t register for classes on time? That might make me graduate late – if I graduate late will that make it harder for me to get a job? What if that makes me end up at a job that I’ll hate for the rest of my life? What if I have to end up getting my teaching certification to find employment? Even if I were a teacher, most high school kids are taller than me, so they probably won’t respect me like other teachers. I haven’t even started teaching high school yet and the kids already won’t listen to me”. The runaway string of stray thoughts eventually makes your trembling palms start to sweat, you can feel your heart pumping in your ears, your stomach churns with nausea, your breaths become shorter and more rapid…

I’m sure that I don’t need to detail what a panic attack is like. Anyone who’s had one understands that it’s positively terrifying, despite the fact that onlookers can be skeptical about the legitimacy of the episode. Admittedly, my panic attacks were rather mild compared to some of my peers – I wasn’t plagued with the type of “I need to get out of here” anxiety that different phobias can trigger, but I was often struck with an intense feeling of despair that I would have to withstand until my physical incapacity had faded. The episodes only happened about every few months, but as the paradox of anxiety goes, just the fear of another attack is enough to trigger one.

It wasn’t just the fear of another attack that triggered my proactivity. After I had graduated, like many students, I noticed that I had put on a bit of weight. By no measure was I at all obese, but four years of cafeteria food and the usual weekend obstreperousness had stolen my once-fit physique and left me out of shape. That, combined with a protracted period of unemployment had me rather discouraged about my post-collegiate disposition, so I figured that while I didn’t have total control of how employed I was, I definitely had control of how fit I was.

It turns out that in my absence, my mother had purchased one of those infomercial workout programs that you see in the late hours following the last few parts of Comedy Central’s daily program. I won’t mention the name for fear of suggesting any kind of promotion, but it’s one that everyone has seen. And sure enough, my mom had kept with the program for about two months and had seen some serious results. After a few days of the obligatory criticism that goes with someone purchasing something from an infomercial, I couldn’t deny my mom’s transformation and thought that I would give the program an honest chance – besides, I had nothing better to do.

About a month went by and I realized that I, too, was actually changing. My lower leg was noticeably more toned, my cheekbones more defined, and my stomach was beginning to reveal the faintest hint of abdominal strength. I began completing the daily training sessions with much more facility, and especially with much more enthusiasm. Starting out can be difficult and discouraging when you are trying to get back into shape, but once you overcome the inertia (both literally and metaphorically) of losing those few first pounds, the change in strength and physique is almost exponential. Nevertheless, the entire time I was completing the training program I was rigorously applying to job after job, every day.

And then, during about the second-to-last week of the program, I stood up from after the workout’s final movement when my body became awash with nausea and disorientation: “I know this feeling”, I thought to myself, “It’s an anxiety attack”. But almost immediately following the onset of the feeling, I realized that I hadn’t had anything that even remotely resembled an anxiety episode the entire time that I had been exercising. No lying in my bed for hours and hours lamenting my current or (potential) future lack of employment; no overwhelming fears of despair or misfortune; I don’t even think I had lost sleep for any reason in the past month in a half. Sure enough, the disorientation that followed the hour of exercise was nothing more than that: just a bit of post-workout lightheadedness.

That false attack that I had experienced had me considering how my lifestyle had changed since the exercise program – what had I been doing differently over the past few weeks? After some close consideration, I realized that the exercise impacted my lifestyle in a lot more ways than just transforming my physique:

• I virtually eliminated caffeine from my diet: Although I was only a casual coffee drinker, I still relied on energy drinks and sodas for refreshment and energy during an early class. These sugar-heavy beverages didn’t factor into my diet and would make me feel incredibly bloated if consumed too soon before a workout. It also meant that I wouldn’t be jittery or trembling when I was lying in bed. 
• I slept more soundly: The best way to naturally cure periodic insomnia is to introduce some solid physical activity into your day. By doing this you ensure that your body will be exhausted by the time your head hits the pillow and it helps you organize a stricter daily schedule for yourself. Not to mention, it’s a lot harder to entertain distracting thoughts when you’re asleep. 
• I became a more positive person: One of the biggest arguments that workout enthusiasts cite for their “addiction” is that exercise releases endorphins – and they are definitely correct. Of course you won’t be feeling like you’re on Prozac all day, but you will certainly be less likely to let small setbacks have a big impact on your attitude. 
• I was less stressed: It takes energy to be stressed out, so directing that energy toward something positive like an exercise program means that it won’t be available to other anxiety triggers later on. 

Additionally, monitoring your physical change divides your attention between different things. For instance, taking an interest in how you look can allow you to take your mind away from the job applications that maybe aren’t being responded to. The pithy phrase, “A watched pot never boils” comes to mind; it might be trite, but it’s actually invaluable information to anyone who is liable to let their mind dwell on things that might trigger stress or anxiety.

I still struggle with minor anxiety, but I consider it to be the anxiety that naturally comes with life and maturity; no longer do I find myself spending entire nights agonizing over fruitless “butterfly-effect”-type tangents about inconsequential ideas. My mind and body are far healthier than they were when I led a more sedentary lifestyle and I’ve mitigated the impact that anxiety has on my life. I understand that there are certainly more severe cases of anxiety that require medical assistance, but I urge everyone suffering from any form of anxiety to seek a more active lifestyle if they are serious about overcoming their anxiety. If you are unsure whether you suffer from anxiety, consult a physician about your condition, or even about some type of medically-assisted weight loss regimen; your stress, nervousness and negativity will begin to loosen their hold on your mental and physical welfare because, frankly, you’ll probably already be asleep.