Even the best relationships have problems.

Sooner or later, even if you start out believing that you are with your soul mate, relationship issues inevitably arise.

As hard as we work to resolve our issues, though, typically very little progress is made.

Despite relationship counseling, most often, we just learn to live with what we don’t like about the relationship, or we leave and learn to live without it.

There is an alternative. Here is some free relationship advice that you really can count on to resolve your relationship issues:

Regard any issues you have with another person as entirely self-created.

Recently someone who knew that I do couples coaching approached me at a party to request some free marriage counseling right there on the spot.

Because I love what I do, I was happy to engage in the conversation.

“Exactly what sort of marriage help are you looking for?” I asked.

“Can you me to save my marriage?”

I said that the best I could do was to try, and invited her to give me a brief account of her marriage problem.

She proceeded to run off a laundry list of issues, including, “He doesn’t communicate. He treats his work as more important than our relationship. He’s always late. I’m always kept guessing about what he is thinking, if he really loves me, if he even cares about the relationship…” The list went on.

When she ran out of issues, I offered her this bit of free couple counseling:

“While you believe you have a problem with marriage, you actually have a thinking problem.

“All this thought focused on what is wrong with your mate keeps you from recognizing how you are being wrong for your yourself.

“Stop wondering about your mate and focus instead on being better toward YOURSELF.”

“But I’m lonely and married,” she complained, her eyes welling up with tears.

“Again, that has to do with your relationship with yourself. Loneliness is actually a sign of being disconnected from ONESELF.

“The next time that you catch yourself wondering or worrying about your husband, immediately refocus your attention onto yourself.

“Notice how your thinking is impacting you. If it makes you feel married and lonely or uncomfortable in any way, instead of trying to control your husband, exercise more self-control by letting go of that train of thought.”

Whatever YOUR relationship issues might be, paying more attention to YOURSELF will reveal your way out of strife and into peace.

Author's Bio: 

* Author, Seminar Leader, Motivational Speaker, Consultant (www.wisie.com) (www.boblancer.com)

* Host of the WSB Radio Show Bob Lancer's Answers, focusing on the challenges of parenting, marriage and personal / professional development.

* Motivational Speaker for Large and midsized companies, associations, government agencies, schools, hospitals, youth groups and other organizations

* Child Behavior Expert of WXIA TV News (Atlanta's NBC TV affiliate)

* Host of Atlanta's Radio Disney show Ask Bob (helping kids deal with their issues)

* Featured Parenting Expert in local and national media

As a public speaker, seminar leader and consultant for over 25 years, Bob Lancer has been inspiring audiences around the nation and overseas, and setting them on a more direct and fulfilling path to total life-success, with his empowering insights and strategies.