Husband Does Nothing To Help Around The House: How To Get Husband To Help Around The House Without Nagging

Every woman has one in her life. As much as we wish it was a full-time maid, that's not it. We all have at least one friend who has the ideal husband. You know the type. He's the man who whips up a healthy breakfast for his wife each morning, does the dishes, works all day and then comes home to cook dinner, do the laundry, wash floors and take care of the children. You hear all about her perfectly, wonderful life while you're toiling over a hot stove with your children running circles around you complaining that they're bored or they need help with homework. How is it that the universe gave some women husbands who seem more than willing to tackle any household chore, yet some of us can't get our husbands to make a piece of toast if his life depended on it? It really has little to do with fate at all. Every husband has the potential to be helpful, attentive and supportive. It's up to us to learn how to draw those qualities out in him so he becomes a partner who not only wants to help at home, he's eager to do as much as he can.

If you're wondering what to do if your husband doesn't help at home there are a few ideas that you need to consider:

Talk to him about it. One major mistake that women make when they want something from their husbands is they wait for him to read their minds. Ladies, men just aren't that insightful when it comes to knowing what we want. You'll get far better results if you walk right up to your husband, and directly tell him what you need help with. Granted, you must not bark orders at him because he'll retreat into himself and nothing will get accomplished. Plan a quiet conversation with him where you'll detail all the things you wish he could help you with. Be kind and don't get too emotional. Men truly appreciate when a woman is able to communicate with them in a way that doesn't involve tears or too much emotion.

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Give him more opportunity. Sometimes taking a detour to get to your destination is the best route to take. Such is the case when you're trying to get your husband to help you more at home. If you've already asked him to lend a hand and he hasn't yet stepped up to the plate you can give him a little push in the right direction. If you two have children, now may be the perfect time for you to escape for a weekend away with some of your girlfriends. If you can't afford a full weekend because of monetary or time constraints, make yourself busy at least one night a week. If your husband is forced into the role of full time caregiver and housekeeper for even a few hours one evening or a Saturday afternoon, he'll soon have a much better appreciation for everything you do. The bonus is that you get to have more time to yourself.

Leave some chores specifically for him. This suggestion is often the most challenging for reasons which will become very obvious momentarily. If your husband has chores that he's supposed to be responsible for yet you often pick up his slack, stop today. It doesn't matter if it's mowing the lawn or taking out the trash, if it's on his to-do list, it needs to be done by him. Obviously once the trash starts piling up, he'll have no choice but to attend to it. The same is true if he's told you he'll take care of his own laundry. Don't do it. Leave it for him to do when he decides he has time. Although this is certainly extreme and can become unpleasant, depending on what chores your husband has yet to do, it does get results.

Don't keep it to yourself if your husband doesn't help at home and you want him to. You need to change his behavior and attitude so you two reach a point where you no longer have to chase after him nagging him to help. He'll transform into one of those husbands other women dream of.

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One of the most important things we forget when faced with a marriage that may seem on the rocks or headed for divorce, is time. There is so little of it. The reason for this is, although you and your spouse may have had countless battles or discussions about the marriage over the months or years, this time it's serious. Your spouse has made up their mind and is ready to end the marriage. Obviously right! So, why do I need to remind you?

The reason I'd like to remind you is, if you're going to save your marriage from divorce you need to be as constructive as you can during this little bit of time. I know, I know, still obvious assessments here. But, what have you been doing?

Do you believe or are you under the assumption still that time heals all wounds? That somehow this may all just fizzle out over time? That things will go back to normal if you just change a few of your ways or make amends for any wrongs you may have done? The hard and straight forward answer to this is no, it won't.

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You see, although the main problem may seem on the surface to be one thing, it's really a number of things that have built up over time and have reached the point of potential divorce. Any claim to change or amends you may try and make are to late. And, I'm sure you already know that. You've probably tried a number of things already to save your marriage, but nothing seems to work.

Why? Because everything you've probably been doing has been done under your own guidance. You believe that you know your relationship inside and out. At the same time, believing that you know what it will take to save it, you just need to fill in a few gaps here and there. But, honestly this couldn't be further from the truth.

It's extremely important to understand with such little time, that none of your previous methods are going to save your marriage. Also, with such little time to waste, it's time to seek real help from knowledgeable sources with a track record for saving marriages. Some advice you can begin using today and advice designed to turn even the worst of marriage crisis around. Whether your spouse helps or not. Some outside looking in advice you can begin using today to start getting real results. Do yourself and your marriage a saving grace favor, stop wasting precious time and put the advice to work right away.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you ask the question "how do I save my marriage" to yourself right now, I wish to consider you my friend. I have been in the exact same situation, and know exactly well how bad it feels to be in a marriage that is crumbling. I know you have put a lot of effort, and have sacrificed a lot for this marriage. So did I. But the good news is - I saved my marriage in the end and I wish to pass my experiences upon you.

If you want to save your marriage, it is very important that you get into the right state of mind to do so. I know that at the moment you are desperate and want to do something as quickly as possible to save your marriage. I was exactly like that - but that will only make things worse. I learned it the hard way that if you want to stop a divorce from happening and repair your marriage, you have to take things slowly.

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Why?

Because whatever happened to make your spouse want a divorce, in all possibility, didn't happen overnight. It slowly built up over a long period of time. So, any attempt to quickly fix this will not only fail but will ruin your credibility. For this reason, it's imperative that you end your "panicking, desperate state" and get into the marriage saving state of mind, which means careful consideration of everything. You lay back, calm yourself down, and look at things at a wider perspective and really understand the reasons of the problems in your marriage, rather than knee-jerk panic reactions to the horrible possibility of a divorce.

I know that this is easier said than done - but I have made a web page which I hope can guide you to the right path of saving your marriage.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Do you need to know how to plan a marriage separation so that your family goes through the least amount of stress possible? Then here are 5 key elements you must discuss and negotiate before you and your spouse decide to separate.

Element #1: Have a clear understanding about why this separation is necessary, and what each partner needs to work on during your separation.

What is the purpose of your separation?

- Is it to give yourselves some time to think?

- Is it so one partner can focus on working on a major issue in his or her life?

Both you and your spouse need to communicate and come to an understanding about this.

Without understanding the reason for your separation, it creates unnecessary tension, anxiety and uncertainty in your relationship.

The best way to handle your separation is to set some goals and outcomes. This way, both parties can gauge whether the time apart has served its purpose or not.

Knowing the reasons for your marriage separation will also mean you can better explain to your children, and help them understand why this change is necessary.

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Element #2: Decide on a time frame for your separation.

A lot of pain can be avoided if a time line for marriage separation is set from the start. This benefits both partners because

1. the partner initiating the separation has a roadmap and guide about how much time he or she has to work out their problems;

2. the partner dealing with the separation is not made to wait forever, and doesn't need to pressure the other person for an answer 'too soon'.

In any case, you will need to set a date to come together to discuss the outcome of your separation, so you can both move forward with your lives - together or apart.

Element #3: Be clear about how your finances will be handled.

Discuss who will pay which bills during this period of separation. For example:

- the housing loan or rent

- the utilities bill

- the children's school fees

- etc

Element #4: Work out a schedule to spend time with your children.

Children are the most affected when there is a drastic change in the family arrangements and dynamics. Help them to cope by letting them know when and how often they will get to see either of their parents.

Element #5: Set guidelines for interactions with the opposite gender.

There needs to be a spoken and/or written agreement between both parties about this. It should be accompanied with the understanding of the consequences, should either party break the agreement.

Do your best to consider the 5 elements above when planning your marriage separation, so that everyone involved knows what to expect. I wish you the very best in your marriage and hope things work out well for all of you

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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