Learning to Control your Anger

This is an article that I can write with some authority because I have been there and done that. I used to have a serious anger management problem. It was so serious that it encompassed all areas of my life and had serious negative effects on my friendships. This problem was not natural and not normal but as with all people who have an anger management problem I felt in every case that the anger was justified. I would get angry at perceived indiscretions of other people. Most of the time the indiscretions were real, some times they were imagined.

The fact that I felt that my anger was justified made me feel that it was quite OK to be angry. This only added more fuel to my angry fire. When I would confront the person who was the target of my wrath and they wouldn’t agree with me it only got worse.

I was in the middle of a never ending cycle. Something had to happen to change what was happening to me and it had to be drastic. There was a multitude of events which began to happen to me which I believe were God directed. These events forced me into a place where I had to look at my anger differently. God used so many different peoples and events to temper me that I can’t name them all. Through the process I learned that I can’t dictate or control the actions of other people whether they are right or wrong. If they are right then good but if they are wrong it was just too bad for who ever.

I saw that people didn’t want to be around me because they didn’t want to listen to my tirades and to be honest with you I don’t blame them at all. Being angry didn’t do anything to solve my problems at all. I also saw that people who had done me wrong weren’t bothered by the effects that it had on my psyche. They would continue in life perfectly happy and I would continue angry and miserable.

My anger only hurt me. It hurt my relationships with others, my self esteem, and my hands because I used to smash walls with them from time to time. Once I allowed the spirit of the lLord to operate in my life he began to give me peace. One day I was reading a bible verse which hit home and helped to change my life forever. The scripture reads “Let peace rule in your mind.” I realized that it was up to me to allow te peace that God gives to control the anger which was ever present in me. I learned to yield to the peace of God and allow it to work through me.

Anger is a choice. We can either choose to be angry or we can choose to allow peace to rule us. I have now chosen to allow peace to rule. Eve when I could be justifiably upset there is no point in allowing myself to be angry. I learned not to dwell on destructive thoughts but to look for the good in every situation. I learned that other people are probably not going to do what I think they should do. I just need to keep up with my own affairs which is a big enough job in itself. Other people have to be responsible for whatever choices that they make and the consequences that follow. That doesn’t have a thing to do with me.

This attitude has carried over to the rest of my life in that in all things I am learning to be content. Plans have been dashed, money has been lost, troubles have come and so has illness. I am learning that all of these things are just conditions and don’t really matter. Yes they hurt and cause anxiety, fear, and suffering but I will choose not to be influenced by temporary things but to keep my eyes on the prize.

If you have a problem with anger you will have to make up in your mind that you won’t allow it to get the best of you. You take control of anger by allowing the peace of God to rule in your heart and mind. Do the opposite of what life makes you feel like doing. Laugh when you want to cry, hug when you feel like swinging, most of all just find somebody to love and lavish love on them. The Good Life