Lying in Children and How to Deal With it

Lying in children is very common, but it's also something parents are often concerned about. Lying in children has many different forms and some of them are a real cause for concern while others are harmless.

Lying in Children You shouldn't be concerned about:
Young children of about 4-5 years old often make up stories. They hear stories from other people all the time and enjoy listening to them, so they make up their own stories to tell and often fade the line between reality and fantasy. This behavior is simply mimicking adult behavior and is completely normal. You shouldn't discourage children from telling these stories and they should be free to explore their creativity.

Older children may tell a lie to avoid doing something or to deny responsibility for their actions. This is also completely normal and not something you should be concerned about. However, this is not something you want to encourage and you should address that you're not happy with the lie he told. Only if your child does this on a regular basis, should you use disciplinary actions.

Adolescents may discover that lying is acceptable in some situations in order to protect someones feelings or to protect themselves. This is also a form of lying in children that you shouldn't be concerned about, but shouldn't encourage either.

Lying in Children That May Indicate Emotional Problems
Some children tell believable stories in order to get attention. Other children may fall into a pattern of repetitive lying. Those children see lying as the easiest way to deal with their problems and it can become a bad habit.

There are also adolescents who frequently use lying in order to cover up another serious problem they have. For example, an adolescent with a serious drug problem might frequently lie about where he was, who he was with and where his money went.

These last forms of lying in children are genuine reasons for concern and, depending of the seriousness, they may need professional help to find more constructive ways to deal with their problems. There are also a lot of things you can do yourself to help your child break the habit of lying.

The more serious forms of lying in children indicate they need help, so it's better to try and help them rather than to punish them. When you discover your child has been lying to you and you tell him about it, your child already feels horrible about it, so there's no real need for more punishments. What you really need to do is have a good talk with your child about is habit and find ways to overcome it.