Me and My Husband Are More Like Roommates: My Husband I Are Basically Roommates

Me and My Husband Are More Like Roommates: My Husband I Are Basically Roommates

If you have been married for many years, or even for decades, you may come to a point some day when you feel that the spark between both of you seem to be missing. This is because both of you have gotten too comfortable with each other and a routine has been set. You may find that you are spending less time with each other as both of you get busy with your own personal schedule. This is one of the signs that your marriage is on rocks and you need to get some save marriage advice to rebuild your relationship if you still love your spouse.

Do not be mistaken that there must be a third party involved because very often life just gets in the way for the couple and in the midst of their career or business building, they forgot about their other half. You will find less time for each other if there are children in the picture. You will start to wonder what has happened to the honeymoon period.

It is still not too late to rekindle the flame within your relationship, so long as you still love your spouse. However, you have to take the initiative to make changes to bring that spark back into your relationship. There is no way your problem can be solved without any actions taken. Both of you have to find a way to reconnect with each other if you want to save the marriage. Knowing that a problem exist but nobody wants to do anything about is only waiting for the relationship to end and that is very sad. So what is the first thing you can do to rekindle that passion?

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Make time for your partner
Yes, spending time alone with your spouse is vital to get a relationship to work. Regardless of how long you have been married to your spouse, you still need to go on single dates with him or her. Spending time alone with your partner will ensure that there is nothing else on your mind so you can focus on your spouse. This will help you to understand each other better and can help greatly towards improving your relationship.

If you can afford the time and finances to go for a weekend getaway, that will be ideal because there is no way you can return to work and family when you are away from home. However, if that is not possible, going on dinner dates once a month or once a fortnight will also help in improving the marriage. Just make sure that you make arrangement for babysitting so that you do not have to worry about your children when you are on your date.

Alternatively, you can also make it a point to go for a leisurely stroll in the park every evening when the kids are sleeping. That is a very romantic and inexpensive activity which can help to make a tremendous difference in your relationship.
There are many things you can do to rekindle the passion in your love but it is up to you whether you take the effort to make your relationship work. Nothing will change if you go on the dates only once or twice and return to your usual routine again. No amount of save marriage advice can help you if you do not make an attempt to stick through with changes.

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Sometimes we think that since we are married that everything should go well. We have the attitude that since we know that we love one another that we should be able to just set things on autopilot and everything should take care of itself. Where did we acquire this attitude? Partly from the myths we learn when we are young about marriage. However, our marriages will benefit greatly if we take an active role rather than a passive one.

First, I believe we all have a purpose in life. We are all made differently and have different personalities. And we have been given different gifts to explore and make use of to benefit others and ourselves. One very positive thing we can do for our spouse is to encourage them to fulfill their potential in life. If they are good at writing, encourage them to write, so on and so forth. We all need encouragement in this area. It is very easy to get side tracked in this world with the needs of our every day lives. If we can remind our spouse and support them in the use of their gifts, they will be much happier and so will we.

Second, exercise together. If this means taking a fifteen minute walk together after dinner or at least three times per week, then by all means do so. Walking is the kind of activity that promotes conversation and you will find yourselves discussing matters that you did not know you had on your minds. It could be a discussion about something that happened during the day or about something in your future. However, it is bound to be beneficial and helpful in keeping the communication lines open.

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Third, ask your spouse at least once a week how they are doing with their household responsibilities. You are being proactive in asking this. This prevents the situation when one of you begins to resent the other because they feel overburdened. This is especially true if you are going through a life change, such as having a new baby, or one of you has a new schedule because of a new job. You may have to readjust how you split up the household responsibilities and planning for it in advance can prevent problems.

Fourth, the same is true of money matters. Talk openly with your spouse about money. This can be an area of differing opinions and you have to realize that money is not a static situation. By this, I mean opinions of how money should be handled in relationships can change. For example, if a spouse gets a raise, then there can be different expectations on how this "extra money" should be handled. Should you save it, put it into a retirement fund, or allow it to be spent; and if you are going to spend it, how are you going to spend it. Talk to your spouse about these things and make an agreement about them. Compromise if necessary.

Five, talk to your spouse about their health. Take an interest and make sure they are getting all the medical care they need and the right kind. Help them if they have a medical ailment. Do some research if necessary and find the right doctor for them and make sure they are taking the right medicine or supplements. This is the time they may need you the most.

Six, enjoy eating a healthy diet together. You will both feel good doing this. And with a healthy diet, you will be able to exercise, have more energy, and have a more positive outlook.

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And seven, make sure there is humor in your lives and in your relationship. Find things to laugh about together. Developing a sense of humor is important in life itself and is a great stress reliever. Jobs and our lifestyles can be very stressful so we have to find ways to add humor to our lives. A well known author, Norman Cousins found out in his book "Anatomy of an Illness" that it even can be critical to recovery from very serious illnesses.

So how do we bring humor into our lives? Watch a funny movie together, or better yet, a romantic comedy. Go out to a comedy club for an evening of fun or a show that has a comedic element to it. Everyone has their favorite type of comedy. Some people like slapstick comedy and others like situational or black comedies. If you do not feel you have a desire to see comedy or do not have a sense of humor, you might have to develop a sense of humor and see what types of comedy appeal to you. If this is the case, I highly suggest you make a big effort to do this because the payoff for you and your spouse are tremendous for your relationship and also for your health.

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If you really want to put your marriage back on track and avoid divorce, then there are multiple things you will need to do. While there isn't just one universal way to save a marriage, there are some different things that you will need to know that can really help you and make a difference in your relationship.

One of these things is communication. We all know in our hearts that communication is important, so why don't we do it as often or as well as we should? There are many different reasons for that. Some people just can't seem to find the time to talk together as much as they should, or sometimes it's because people just don't possess the skills that are needed for good quality communication with another person.

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If it feels like you don't have enough time, then make it. It's as simple as that. If you really want your marriage to survive then you need to find a way. Otherwise, your marriage will slowly begin to spiral downward and it will never recover. If your problem is that you lack the skills to communicate on major level, then start practicing.

You can do this by sitting down with your partner each day for at least 15 or 20 minutes and talk about what is bothering you or what needs to be worked on in the relationship. Always remember to do so without yelling, screaming, or blaming. This will put you on the fast-track to having a marriage you can both be proud of. A huge part of saving any marriage is communicating regularly and in a way that will enable both of you to be great problem solvers when something comes up with the marriage that needs your attention. Just always remember that it's up to you and nobody else can fix your relationship.

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