Mental Toughness - Staying Goal Directed

We are all encouraged to have goals – to set objectives and have targets. When we think of goals, usually we only consider the big long-term goals, such as buying a home. However it is often our everyday goals and actions which we need to focus on in order to increase our happiness and make life more enjoyable. Our thoughts, emotions and behaviour can either support or undermine us in our pursuit of goals and objectives. Goal directed thinking and behaviour supports us in our aims, objectives and survival. In this newsletter I have included some tips and examples to keep you goal directed and mindful of your everyday goals.

Staying goal directed means that we are personally responsible for our thoughts, emotions and behaviour. Therefore we are personally responsible for our outcomes and are in control.

It is our thinking and beliefs that cause us to have negative or harmful emotions such as anger, frustration and irritation. These emotions can then have an impact on our behaviour towards situations and other people.

For example, I may go to a party - think that I’m unattractive (thoughts) - feel depressed (emotions) - drink two bottles of wine (behaviour) - have a fight with my best friend (outcome). Does this sound familiar? (My number is at the bottom of the page)

So, by recognising that our thoughts and behaviour are not supporting us and are self-defeating, we can dispute them and choose realistic thoughts to maintain perspective and stay goal directed.

To stay goal directed we could ask ourselves simple questions about our current situation and circumstances.

What is my goal here?

To have a pleasant journey
To enjoy my evening
To have a loving relationship
To get on with people
To effectively communicate with my children
To stay healthy
To have a successful career
To work harmoniously with my colleagues

When having negative thoughts and emotions we can stay goal directed by asking ourselves this pragmatic question:

How does thinking or behaving this way help me to feel good or achieve my goals?

Does being angry with peoples’ noisy Ipods and phones help me relax and have a pleasant journey?
Does worrying about how I look help me enjoy my evening?
Does blaming my partner and staying angry help me have a loving relationship?
Does demanding that others have the same beliefs as I do, help me get on with people?
Does shouting help me to communicate with my children?
Does eating fatty foods help me stay healthy?
Does being late help me have a successful career?
Does blaming and labelling my colleagues help the team effort?

Simple isn’t it? As long as we remain mindful of our goals and objectives in everyday situations we can adapt our thinking and behaviour to obtain those goals. It’s just a case of taking a moment to reflect on our goals, before harmful emotions such as anger take a hold of our actions.

Put this into practice today, maybe before you make that phone call, enter that meeting or… go on that date.