Minimizing Buyers' Remorse

No matter how excited I was to buy a house, I felt buyer’s remorse after the deal was done. I could have looked at a hundred homes and still felt that I might have missed a better opportunity.

The same phenomenon happened to me when I shopped for groceries in a new store. I looked at each and every possible choice with eagle eye attention to detail. I read the labels on ten different brands of beans, decided which one was healthiest, and then inspected individual cans to find one without dents. I could stand there studying cans for thirty minutes before making my choice. But no matter how perfect my final can of beans was, I’d regret my choice the second I left the store.

That cycle had a strong hold on me, yet I did eventually break it. How? By paying attention to my behavior patterns and accepting that choice is an adventure not a burden.

Each choice we are presented with is not meant to harm or frighten us; it is meant as a creative exploration. We build our lives with the choices we make. There is no point in judging ourselves or our past choices because the past is gone. There are no mistakes; only lessons and adventure.

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In this world of consumerism and choice, it turns out that lots of people are susceptible to buyers’ remorse. According to some social scientists, increased choice and increased prosperity have, strangely, been accompanied by decreased well–being in the U.S. and most other affluent societies. In fact, more of the population is reported to be clinically depressed than ever before. Everyone seems to have a different idea about why this is. Want to hear mine?

Well, I think that there are so many wonderful things to chose between in the western world that consumers are wading in choice, actually more like treading water in it — many of us can’t find our footing. As a result, I think that we often give up our power to choose and follow media driven propaganda or peer pressure. Many of us are influenced by others’ opinions and are concerned that we will be judged for making the wrong choice. So we do what we think is the responsible thing rather than looking inside ourselves and choosing from the heart. Next thing you know, we are judging our choice and feeling pangs of regret. Judgement, in my opinion, is what feeds buyers’ remorse.

What can be done to counteract buyer’s remorse and actually be happy with your house choice? Plenty.

Start by believing in yourself. Others’ opinions can be very persuasive, but only your opinion matters because the house you chose is for you. What is right for someone else has nothing to do with what is right for you.

Before telling anyone about your house, write down the things that you love about it and why you chose it. Then, you can review your list every time you question your choice to buy it. If you still feel a little nibble of remorse, please don’t judge yourself or your decision. Know that whatever you chose, there is no right or wrong. The decisions you make may not always be easy to live with, but will always bring growth. There are no mistakes, just lessons. The choices you make determine the lessons you claim. Have faith in yourself and your choices. Every choice is the perfect choice.

If you still find yourself comparing your choice to all of the choices you rejected or later learned about, breath deep and imagine all of those comparisons drifting away until only your house is left in your mind’s eye.

Focus exclusively on your feelings about your house, without any comparisons or judgements. Look at the good feelings and negative feelings and then decide if you still want the house. If you want to sell your new house and try again, fine. Otherwise, focus on this moment and enjoy having your new home, without regret of the past or worry over the future. Enjoy where you are right now.