Before going to bed get out your journal and create two columns. The column on the left is entitled “Did Wells.” The column on the right is entitled, “What That Says About Me.”

Think of your day and list in the left column everything that you did well that day. These can be simple things like remembering to take your vitamins, giving yourself plenty of time to drive to work or finishing a project on time. The list can also include the larger successes like initiating a difficult conversation with a loved one, enrolling in night school or making a long prepared for presentation at a team meeting.

Once you’ve got your list, now it’s time to look at the right column. For each item in your left column, ask yourself this question: If a person does that activity, what does that say about her or him?

So, for instance, if a person remembers to take her vitamins, what does that say about her? In the right column will be your answer. It could be one word or a few words like “responsible” or “healthy.” If a person enrolls in night school, what does that say about him? Perhaps it would say, he’s ambitious, forward thinking or courageous. After a few minutes, you will have a list of wonderful qualities about yourself.

Over the course of a few weeks, you’ll begin to notice certain qualities keep coming up. You’ll realize that you must be very organized, articulate and diplomatic. Your Did Well lists told you time and time again! Or maybe you’ll realize you have a great sense of humor, are kind and are great with numbers. Once again, it’s your Did Well list that makes that clear.

And these great qualities that you learn about yourself aren’t the result of egotism or bragging, they’re simply facts about you based on your behavior. See the magic of this technique? You will know the truth about yourself – that you’re a pretty talented person with many great attributes and strengths.

I have used “Did Well” lists for months at a time and have watched my self esteem blossom. Enjoy the beauty of who you are by noticing what you do well every day.

If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Remember Mom saying that? Well it’s true and it’s applies to you. Step one: cease and desist. It’s time to break the unhelpful habit of saying things about yourself that are unkind. Have you ever heard yourself say something like these zingers?

“I look fat.”
“I’m a clutz.”
“I’m always late.”

Whatever not nice thing you say out loud, please begin right now to Lip Zip. I want you to either stay quiet or say something neutral. Let’s translate a few examples together…

“I have horrible handwriting.”
Translation: I think Wendy’s handwriting is neater than mine. Do you want her to do it?

“My desk is a pig sty.”
Translation: I could use some help organizing. Would you help me create a system?

“I’m so forgetful. I almost forgot my keys.”
Translation: Great, I remembered my keys.

Moral of the story? It's a pleasure to be around people who speak respectfully of themselves. It's tiring to hear a lot of self deprecation and complaining.

So try Did Wells and Lip Zips and let me know how they go for you!

Author's Bio: 

Jean is an international speaker and seminar leader with nine years experience. She specializes in training top notch assistants and improving communication skills. Her groups range from 5 to 300.

Prior to founding her business, Jean worked as the resident trainer at Arden Realty - a publicly traded commercial real estate firm. There she instructed employees from entry level to executive. Before Arden, Jean facilitated stress management programs at Gensler Architecture and Design and at retreat centers across California. She has had the opportunity to work and consult with the following industries: non-profit, entertainment, technology, government, health care, recruiting, hospitality, education, financial services and real estate.

Jean received her B.A. with cum laude honors at UCLA in Communications and Business Administration. She completed the Train the Trainer course with the American Society for Training and Development. As a performing artist, Jean studied at the renowned Neighborhood Playhouse School of Theater in New York. She has performed in theater, television, voice-over and film.

Jean develops her skills with the National Speakers Association and is a 2009 Board Member of the American Society for Training and Development. Her home office is in Santa Monica, California.