Sense Of Safety: Can Childhood Trauma Stop Someone From Developing A Sense Of Safety?

When someone has an inner sense of safety, it will be possible for them to be in their body and to express themselves. What this comes down to is that in order for someone to inhabit their body, they will need to feel safe enough to do so.

As this component is in place, they will comfortable expressing who they are – their true-self. However, just because someone experiences life in this way, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of why their life is this way.

Part of Life

For most, if not all, of their life, they may have inhabited their body and expressed their true-self. There will still be moments when they lose touch with their body but this won’t be a normal part of their life.

When they lose touch with their body, it can mean that they won’t be aware of how they feel or what their needs are. This can take place when they are using their phone or when they are on a computer, for instance.

Strong Foundations

And although they might not realise it, if they didn’t feel safe in their body, it would be a real challenge for them to express themselves. The sense of safety and security that they have at the root of their body is what will give them the ability to fully show up on this earth.

This part of them, their lower body, will also provide them with the energy that they need to take action and to assert themselves. As they experience life in this way, it is likely to show that their early years were a time when their needs were generally met and they experienced a minimal amount of trauma.

An Analogy

So, in the same way that someone is unlikely to know much about their car unless they have had problems with it, one won’t know much about their own being as they won’t have had any major problems. How their life has been up until this point will have meant that they won’t have needed to.

If they were to talk to someone who experiences life differently, they might be able to empathise with them, yet they won’t be able to truly relate to their experience. One way of looking at this would be to say that they have been very fortunate.

Another Reality

When it comes to someone who doesn’t have an inner sense of safety and security, it is going to be a challenge for them to stay in their body. This might sound strange as it can be hard to comprehend how someone could leave their body.

One way of looking at it would be to say that their awareness will leave their body, causing them to lose touch with their needs, feelings and sensations in the process. This is not going to be something that they consciously choose to do as it will just happen.

Disconnected

Their awareness will typically be in their head, meaning that they will largely live on the surface of themselves. When this takes place, they will primarily be focused on what is taking place externally.

Doing what other people want, along what they think they want, will be the priority. They will then have lost touch with their true-self and what other people will see will be a reflection of their false-self.

A Matter of Survival

Without an inner sense of safety and security, pleasing others will be a way for them to try to settle themselves down. Their main priority is then not to please others; it is actually to feel more at ease.

This need will be so strong that even though they are compromising themselves, it might not really stand out. There may be moments when they feel frustrated and depressed but these moments might not be enough for them to change their life.

What’s going on?

It is unlikely that they were simply born this way; what this is likely to illustrate is that their early years were a time when it wasn’t safe for them to be in their body. Due to how dangerous their early environment was, they may have had to live in their head and to be super focused on what was going on externally.

Instead of being able to just be, to relax and to play, something that would have happened if their caregivers had provided them with the safety and security that they needed to be able to grow and develop, they would have had to be on alert. Thus, their energy would have mainly been used to keep them alive.

A Closer Look

This may have been a time when they were abused on a weekly, if not daily, basis. They may have also had at least one caregiver who was emotionally unstable, having no control over their emotions.

It would have been as though they were walking on eggshells and had to be ready to handle danger at any moment. Being on edge would have given them a sense of control over something that they themselves had no control over.

No Foundations

Now that they are an adult, they will be like a house that is built on sand; or to be more accurate, they will like a house that is floating on water. The reason for this is that the trauma that is held in their body, especially their lower body, will often make them feel as though they are all at sea.

If they do drop down into their body, they could soon be pushed back out and end up in their head. The trauma that is held in their body – the fear and the terror - will be too much for them to handle, causing them to dissociate or at the very least disconnect from their body.
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Awareness

With this in mind, it is not going to be possible for them to change how they experience life overnight. They will need to work through the layers of trauma that are held within them and to gradually develop a sense of safety and security.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer.