Should I Text My Ex To See How He's Doing: Is It Ok To Ask How Your Ex Is Doing

Should I Text My Ex To See How He's Doing: Is It Ok To Ask How Your Ex Is Doing

A lot of questions I have been receiving recently have been about why the first step you should take after a break up is to break contact with your ex partner. "Should I text my ex?" shouldn't even be a question that enters your mind - I know this may seem cruel just now, but it's the best way to approach this situation.

Since this issue was causing so much confusion and so many questions, I decided to let you in on some of the secrets of the human psyche, and why this is such an effective first step to take.

Now I know this may seem a little counter intuitive - the very FIRST thing you might want to be doing in the days immediately after a break up is to text your ex! With your heart and your brain both screaming at you to pick up the phone, it can be a hard message to ignore.

You might want to send your ex partner screens of text confessing your love for them, telling them that the thought of life without them seems hopeless. You might be thinking of trying to convince them that you two of you really are meant to be together and that if they can't see that then they should seek psychiatric help to deal with their denial. However... I think if you consider these options carefully, you'll also admit that texting your ex is not the right thing to do just now.

Lets try putting yourself in their shoes - if they have just broken up with you, they might not be feeling too great either. They might have been wondering whether this was the right decision to make for some time, and you will both be needing some time to think. The last thing that they would want is to receive constant texts from you reminding them of your love and telling them that they are wrong to let your relationship go.

So for that reason I'm going to outline the BEST things to keep in mind when you are trying to refrain from that 'text message terrorism', and why it is best for you in the long run - even though it may not feel like it right now.

In the next blog post I will outline the most important things you need to remember to stay in the correct frame of mind, and to strengthen yourself so you won't damage your chances of reconciliation by sending a weepy or mushy text to them.

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When breakups happen they feel irreversible. It seems like the world has come to an end and it doesn't seem worth living. While you go through this process of feeling sorry for yourself your lover moves on and finds someone else. Here is what you need to do if you want to get your lover back.

Give your lover some time to cool off
Don't jump the gun and get back in touch with your lover immediately after you have broken up. You don't need to look desperate but you need to keep your lover in your radar so that he/she doesn't end up with someone else. Let your lover cool off and begin to miss you a little before you make any moves.

Analyze his/her strengths
Take this time to analyze what were the strongest points of your lover that made you admire him/her. Rediscover why you fell in love with him/her. Refreshing your memory will help you to take your lover down memory lane making the patch up easier.

Get your own reality check
You should also do your own reality check to find out why your lover left you in the first place. Make an effort to change the negative qualities that you have so that your lover feels that you have made an effort for them.

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Take help from friends and family
You can take the help of family and friends and get the message across to your ex. Make them tell your lover how much you miss him/her and let them tell him/her of the changes that you have brought about in yourself only for him/her.

Get back in touch with your lover
Once the messages keep getting to your ex, you should then make an effort to get in touch with your lover. Leave a voicemail or an email if you can't muster up the courage of talking to them directly and arrange to meet somewhere.

Apologize
When you meet your lover make it a point to take the blame and apologize for your mistakes. Your lover might be a little hard on you but you need to be mature and consider their feelings. Give your lover a patient hearing and take ownership of your actions and tell him/her that you have changed all that you were asked to change.

Walk the talk
Propose being just friends and use this opportunity to show your lover how much you have really changed. Walk the talk and deliver what you have promised and you will find that your lover will come back to you.

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Are you suffering from jealousy in a relationship? Do you feel like the two of you just can't trust each other? Would you like to feel better about the way you interact with your partner? If jealousy is causing feelings of mistrust and anguish, there are some very specific steps you can take to end it right away.

What Causes Jealousy in a Relationship

There are many things which can cause jealousy to get between you and your partner! Whether there's an old boyfriend or girlfriend who just won't disappear, or if your partner seems to be just a little too close to that friend of the opposite sex, it's likely that you feel jealous about the time the two spend talking - even if your partner isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with the other person.

Even worse is the kind of jealousy that can happen any time anyone of the opposite gender pays even the slightest attention to your partner or spouse! If that green eyed monster pops its ugly head up every time a clerk or waiter is friendly, or if someone even seems to look too long or too intensely at the person you love, it's time to get help.

Why Jealousy in a Relationship Causes Damage

Jealousy can cause damage to both parties in a relationship, although it often affects each person in different ways. Relationships should be built on mutual trust and affection, so if your partner is jealous of that other person who seems to poke his or her nose where it doesn't belong, he or she very well could be justified in feeling slighted! If you've been paying too much attention to another person outside your relationship, perhaps you should stop - you may be able to end the jealousy problem right away.

What if your lover has moved on? Here's how to get them back.

If you feel suspicious of your partner's every move, you might want to ask yourself why. If you were cheated on in the past, you need to remember that the person you are with now is not the same person who treated you badly! Take a leap of faith, and trust your partner. By doing so, you give him or her the opportunity to love you freely, rather than resent your controlling attitude A person who resents you does not enjoy being with you for the person you are - so if you're causing jealousy in a relationship to worsen, you should stop immediately.

Ending Jealousy in a Relationship

While ending jealousy in a relationship may not be easy to do, it is certainly worthwhile. If you are jealous, talk to your partner about why you feel the way you do. If you feel your jealousy is justified, then respectfully ask your partner to take specific steps toward ending the behavior that is causing you to feel the way you do.

If your partner is jealous of you for reasons that don't make sense, then talk about how changing the way they act can increase your love and respect for them.

Online Counseling Can Help End Jealousy in a Relationship

If your problems seem to be more than you can handle, or if you find that there's something more at the root of your behavior, or your partner's behavior, then you will very likely benefit from online counseling. It's simple and confidential, and best of all, someone who sees things from a different point of view can help you understand what's going on, and end damaging jealousy in a relationship once and for all.

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It is only natural that you are feeling low by your break up. The only way to fix this state of negative thinking is by being back with your ex again. But what are the signs that your ex wants you back?

Take some time away from the break up. This will help you create positive thoughts in your mind. Also it is vital that you stop all contact with your ex now. Be selfish and pay more attention on you. Enjoy yourself, take a breather; relax. By having a small break will allow you to see the signs that your ex wants you back.

If you are out with your friends, is your ex still constantly on your mind? Can you see your ex in the distance? This is not stalking you, but is a positive sign that your ex wants you back.

Maybe you will start getting a few text messages from your ex. I bet they are saying that they still miss you and would like to see you again. I can't stress enough to you that you are getting these signs because you have left them alone for a while.

Speak to your friends and see what they think of your ex. It is important to listen carefully and take it all in. Do they say that they regret breaking up with you? Did your ex tell some of your friends that they still love you? You don't need a PHD to know that these are signs that your ex wants you back!

There are obvious signs that your ex still wants you back. You just have to stay calm and analyse the whole situation and take it one step at a time. By doing this you will have no problem seeing them again and most importantly you can live a happy life once again.

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