Start Early Teaching Responsibility To Children

The ability to be responsible for one’s actions is something that needs to be taught early to children and teenagers in order for them to become thriving adults full of integrity and purpose. In order to practice integrity, a child must start to develop a value system that stands the test of time. The only way to develop a value system is to learn to become responsible for one's actions by being allowed to experience the consequences of their own choices.

Integrity in this context does not mean someone else's outside moral definition or value system. Naturally a parent can guide a child toward the values and morals they hold dear, but the truth is, children will formulate through experience and cognitive development their own value system that will guide their life.

Below are some ways adults can help:

Teach by example -- Children are little sponges and they notice everything that we do. If we do not act in ways that show we are accountable for our actions, and are inconsistent with our values, they notice and will be confused. This is not to say we have to be perfect.

Explain when it's hard -- When, as a parent or teacher, you do not live up to your own ideals and children notice, you need to explain to them as best you can without making excuses. You can acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes at times, and when you know better you can do better.

This is where it gets tricky. As adults, we may know better, but we don’t always do better, and that is what children see. Explain that a mistake is a valuable opportunity to learn and grow. For some people, the lesson takes longer to learn, and for others, they never choose to learn and grow. It is critical for children understand that they have a choice and can learn from other’s mistakes without having to make the same mistakes. In essence, they can follow in someone else’s mistake-ridden path, or lead their own life by choosing to learn and grow from their own or other’s mistakes the first time.

Let them be responsible -- Children want responsibility. They like having control over themselves the moment they realize they are autonomous individuals, usually around 24 to 36 months. Start small with letting them be responsible for picking up their toys before nap or bedtime, and then add to their responsibility accordingly to their age and ability.

Now give it your ALL – Ask, Look, and Listen:

• Ask children questions, then pause and allow them to think for themselves.
• Look for the day-to-day life teaching moments to discuss responsibility with them.
• Listen to the answers they give to your questions and their comments in discussion without judgment.

We can learn a lot from children by helping them learn to be 100% responsible for their life. It is quality gift exchange of personal leadership, integrity, and happiness. What greater gift can we give and receive?