Why Do I Still Feel Stuck?

How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ve been working on this issue for years, yet I just don’t seem to be making any progress. Why am I still stuck?” At times I’ve even been known to say to myself in exasperation, “But I thought I’d cleared that!” The issue can be anything at all – attracting abusive relationships, being stuck in financial struggle and lack and not being able to move through deep-seated fears, to name a few.

So why do we spend time, energy and often substantial amounts of money on trying to work through a particular issue, yet it feels as if nothing is shifting, much to our frustration and despair? The long answer would require a whole book, so let’s just highlight 5 of the common reasons you may still be feeling stuck:

1. The Uncomfortable Comfort Zone

Although we may be utterly miserable in our current work / relationship / financial situation / etc, at least it is familiar and somewhat predictable. We may actually be subconsciously, or even consciously, terrified of how our life would look if things changed for the better. The unconscious internal dialogue might go something like this, “What would I do with all that extra money? I’m no good with managing money. I might lose it all and then I’d just feel like a failure, again.”….. or maybe more like this, “I know he’s emotionally abusive towards me, but at least I’ve got a man in my life. I don’t want to go on those dating sites. If I leave him I might finish up all alone for the rest of my life or get someone who is even worse than he is.” So internally we justify our inactions and talk ourselves out of change.

We tend to be very good at talking ourselves out of change, even positive change, when there is risk involved (and when isn’t there risk involved?). It’s easier to stay stuck in our uncomfortable comfort zone. However we always have choice in any given moment.
Usually it is our fear of the unknown or of changing that keeps us stuck and which fuels our resistance to letting go of unsatisfactory situations or of trying something new. As a Hypnotherapist, I find Hypnotherapy is a wonderful tool for changing subconscious beliefs, breaking down old outmoded patterns and for giving us the confidence and motivation to move forwards.

2. Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is in epidemic proportions, with at least 85% of the western world suffering from low self-esteem in one or more areas of their life, according to Dr Joe Rubino, self-esteem expert. As a standard part of any Hypnotherapy work I do with a client, I provide positive suggestions to the subconscious mind to help that person feel more worthy, to boost self-esteem and to help them move through the challenges of their life more easily.

A person’s self-esteem may have been damaged through seemingly innocent remarks made by parents and teachers in childhood. These remarks are absorbed uncritically into the child’s subconscious mind as truth. Sometimes a frustrated parent may have yelled at their child, “You’ll never be any good at anything!” for instance in response to poor grades. The child’s subconscious mind believes that and dutifully makes sure that even as an adult that person continues to perform poorly across different areas of life.

First a person needs to feel they are ‘worthy’ of happiness in their life and of attracting good relationships, jobs, financial abundance, etc, before they can move out of being stuck. If at a subconscious level you believe that you don’t deserve anything better that what you have now, then that’s exactly where you will stay stuck. No matter what techniques you try at a conscious level and no matter how many positive affirmations you make, unless your subconscious belief is that you are worthy of what you desire, then you will only continue to attract more of the same into your life. The subconscious energy you give out is exactly what you attract back to you. Such is the Law of Attraction.

3. Peeling Back the Onion Skin

Interestingly enough many people actively involved in personal development experience what appears to be a complete remission of an issue, only to have it frustratingly reoccur some months or even years later. The “But, I thought I’d dealt with that.” syndrome.

Don’t despair! Chances are you were actually successful at getting rid of the troublesome issue at the particular vibrational level you were working on at the time. As we all know, the more we evolve and clear our issues, the higher our vibration raises. Deeper levels of those issues we thought we had cleared just naturally rise to the surface as our personal vibration rises, as our bodies can no longer suppress these denser vibrations. I liken this to peeling back the layers of the onion skin. We may already have peeled back layers 1 to 5, but now layers 6 and 7 surface for clearing. The good news is, the more layers you clear, the easier it seems to get to clear others as they surface.

4. Past Life Influences

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about some mysterious ‘past life influences’ as a cop-out or as a way to avoid taking responsibility for what you are creating in your life. As a Past Life Therapist, I have found that people often carry soul memories from previous incarnations that profoundly influence their belief systems in their current incarnation.

I have found this is especially the case with healers, who often have lifetimes of trauma, persecution and even death for expressing themselves and their healing gifts fully in previous incarnations. Lifetimes of being burnt at the stake, stoned to death, drowned as a witch or even being buried alive are all common in the soul memories of many healers. Little wonder they are reticent this lifetime to fully express themselves as healers and prefer to deny their healing gifts or just share their gifts, almost in secret, with selected family and friends.

In such cases, working with a Past Life Therapy professional, such as me, can help disconnect the soul memories of persecution and help healers to fully express themselves without fear of persecution.

Another common example of past life influences is of someone who is following a healthy diet and lifestyle, yet has suffered with weight issues all their life and just can’t seem to shift those excess kilos. Under hypnosis it is surprising how often such people will travel back to a previous lifetime of extreme poverty and often death by starvation. In this incarnation the soul is determined to keep the body from starving again by keeping some ‘backup padding’ on it.

5. Failure to Take Action Steps

I love the joke about the man who prayed to God to win Tattslotto and waited and waited, yet nothing happened. Finally the frustrated man asked God why he hadn’t won anything, to which God replied, “You need to go and buy a ticket!” I also like one of my good friend Christine Kloser’s favourite sayings for manifestation, “Pray and move your feet.”

In other words, maybe you have identified the problem, but have you taken any action steps to resolve it? For instance if you find yourself stuck in a dead-end job, have you checked the newspapers and online for job vacancies that might suit you? Have you applied for any jobs, tidied up your resume, updated your hairstyle, etc? If you are in an unsatisfactory relationship, have you sought counseling, checked out how much it would cost you to move out, researched accommodation options, etc? Identifying the issue is only halfway there – you need to take action steps to move towards something better.

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So those are just a few suggestions that may help you to see where you have been stuck with a particular issue and how you can take steps to move beyond that. Of course I am always available to do some more intensive one-on-one work with you if you feel you need a little help in one or more of the areas above. Contact michelle@heal-the-healer.com for further information.