WinkAway

So, I have done a lot of online dating in my day and at this point I am tired of it. At first it was a way to meet new people, since my social circle didn't provide much in term of available women. Whether you work a lot or most of your friends are married dating does not get easier as you get older. Also, the amount of quality and available women are reduced. So, what do you do in this situation?

1) Be patient and never cut yourself short. Time and time again, many will fall into the same traps of dating the first thing they see. Most likely, it was the wrong choice. We are charmed by the attention they pay us, what our friends may think about them, or even what social circle they belong to. Just to be disappointed by their loss of interest once they get what they want.

So, make them work for it, by making them wait. Who says you have to kiss good bye on the first date. What happened to just being cordial, regardless of intentions. Instant gratification is not backed by substance. Substance needs something to build on, so a consistence adherence to your essence is required. A simple text, the good night call or even lunch time visit. Building a rapport with someone can only make a relationship stronger. You need someone to prove that they will be there regardless for the ups and downs of a relationship. If someone is going to leave you because they didn't get what they want on the first date, they will do the same on the fifth, sixth or seventh date as well. If it's a guy, let them show that you he cares by planning out the first two or three date then respond by doing the same on the next date. It takes time to recognize someone traits and jumping in too soon will only blind your judgement. So, it didn't lead into something more, but you still enjoy them as a person. Then you made a new friend. I know, I know, you were looking a soul mate. Regardless, you kept your health and your dignity by not being impulsive. But, if all is going well and you are still on the same page, you have a great foundation to work with. The chances of a successful relationship are greater.

2) Join groups. People can become very complacent very quickly, especially when they get the right response. You just got out of a long term relationship and you hear of your friends/co-workers successes with online dating. So, you create a profile online and then 'boom', a ton of emails from available suitors is at your beckon call. Now you fall into a trap of not looking outside the box. I'm not saying that there are not great men when dating online. But, don't you remember being young and meeting people when you played soccer? Well, soccer clubs are still there. Maybe you want to try something new like badminton, or arts and crafts. The best part about it is your meeting someone who already has a similar interest as you. So, you have a similar ground to start on. The other good thing is you probably will not screw things up by rushing. Why is that? Well, you will have to see them again if things don't work out, and I’m sure you will want to continue the activity. So, innately you know to take your time and get things right the first time. So, join a sports group, a movie club or a business association. Starting with something in common gives you a foot up in any relationship.

3) Go where you haven't gone before. So, back to this complacency thing. We all like to do what we have done before because we can expect similar results. For example, watching our favourite TV shows. A quick escape then off to bed. It certainly isn't rewarding, but we know it is not going to hurt either. Sounds crazy though doesn't it? Being caught up in a routine that brings us little to no satisfaction. Is it so hard to put on your shoes and go for a walk, or go to your neighbourhood coffee shop after work and just sparking a conversation with a receptive person? The littlest changes in your routine can bring about neurological and cosmic changes in all other things you do. At the end of your night stroll, you find yourself smiling and of course the people you are passing smiling too. Who knows you may be waiting to cross the light and someone notices your smile and says 'Hi!'. Positive people create positive environments which result in positive responses. Can you repeat that for me? And isn't that what we want from the universe, to reflect the good we emit.

The bottom line is we may have fallen into similar trap and not know how to find our way out. Like anyone, you would like to find your match. So, keep yourself in good health and be the master of your domain. Don't get caught up in old habits that are not working, be patient and try new activities. The universe is waiting to reward you.