People usually marry for love. A new phenomenon, only a couple of centuries old, in the history of the institution of marriage and in this culture. I say “usually” because sometimes people just get married because that is the thing to do, again speaking from today’s and ... Views: 4
Do you know the main reason relationships fail is because the individuals in them are emotionally unprepared to have relationships in the first place? Do you know however that emotional adequacy in this context does not require years of psychotherapy but instead simply the recognition and ... Views: 14
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals make an unconscious contract with each other to try to satisfy the unmet needs of the other. Initially, especially in the case of a couple, this contract is defined as "love". For instance, how many times have you heard yourself ... Views: 22
Regain Your Inner Core By Working On Core Issues
The concept of family goes back to the beginning of time. It’s the traditional social system that shapes our inter-personal dynamics and provides the working model for the story we create about ourselves. Of course, we’ve all been children at ... Views: 14
Partners love telling each other what to do, how to behave, how to be, what to think, how to feel, and even things like what to eat and how to dress! They are on a mission to change their partner, consciously or not. This is a sign of lack of boundaries and personal ... Views: 13
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 26
Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard a needy person tries at having a relationship their "neediness" always sabotages their most concerted efforts? Have you ever wondered why some people are needier than others or in fact why people are needy at all?
What's more, have you ever ... Views: 36
Do you know that the majority of individuals feel needy inside? Do you know that neediness makes them feel weak, inadequate, deficient, defective, vulnerable, manipulative, unattractive, depletes their self confidence, self esteem self worth, personal integrity, and sabotages their ability to ... Views: 26
If you were truly honest with yourself behind all of those things you do to distract yourself i.e. sex, work, drugs, recreational pursuits, relationships, and so on there is lurking a deep sense of emptiness within that many would characterize as part of the human condition. In fact it is this ... Views: 45
Do you know that many people are not fully mature enough to have healthy relationships? Do you know this immaturity manifests as a fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, feelings of jealousy and insecurity, controlling and manipulative behaviours, fears of commitment and intimacy, self ... Views: 28
Being seen and accepted for who we are is a basic need that specially plays out in our relationship. I find that the driver behind most conflict and dissatisfaction in relationships has to do with the partners feeling they can’t be themselves in one way or another.
Partners ... Views: 27
Do you know that co-dependent needy behavior can make even the most physically attractive person a pariah? Do you know however that those behaviors, rooted in old emotional baggage stored in your subconscious mind, can be permanently and completely erased thereby leaving you feeling self ... Views: 44
Two things are certain a) everyone is carrying some emotional baggage and b) everyone struggles to keep it at bay. What most don't know is it's now possible to completely and permanent delete old emotional baggage from the subconscious mind so that all ones time, energy and focus can go into ... Views: 32
The impulse to get married almost seems programmed into us from a very early age. Many believe that being married reflects on how attractive, lovable, and successful they are as human beings. Do you know, however that most people who are thinking about marriage are not yet ready for such a ... Views: 40
What is Co-dependence?
Well in a nutshell its when two individuals form a relationship based on the need to fulfill their mutual needs through the other person.
As you can see there was no mention of the word love in the above definition. That must tell you something about the health of ... Views: 37
There are a number of individuals who are in relationship who are not yet ready for such a commitment.
One of the biggest issues with such individuals relates to what many therapists classify as a personality disorder. Personality disorders pertain to failed maturation of the individual's ... Views: 42
Evolving Through Healthy Detachment
Many Buddhist practitioners claim that the chief cause of suffering stems from any form of attachment; therefore, the converse would also be true, that to experience a sense of peace and well- being would emerge from a process of healthy detachment and ... Views: 39
Addictive relationships are characterized by an inability to let go of a partner who is abusive because doing so leads to strong feelings of need and/or insecurity that cannot be tolerated. There are three important things one must do in order to free themselves from an addictive ... Views: 44
A common habit individuals find themselves caught in when in a relationship is the perpetual need to try and rescue their partner from their own self sabotaging and self destructive behaviors. Often this habit can be so strong and compelling that it actually turns into an addiction.
What is ... Views: 34
Do you know that many people are not fully mature enough to have healthy relationships? Do you know this immaturity manifests as a fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, feelings of jealousy and insecurity, controlling and manipulative behaviors, fears of commitment and intimacy, self ... Views: 63
When we are “too close”, whether we are getting along or not … , we can’t see each other. If we can’t see each other, how can we possibly decide if we like each other and feel attraction?
This concept is confusing to most, when we live in a society where relationships ... Views: 54
Do you know that co-dependent needy behavior can make even the most physically attractive person a pariah? Do you know however that those behaviors, rooted in old emotional baggage stored in your subconscious mind, can be permanently and completely erased thereby leaving you feeling self ... Views: 64
Do you know that many people harbor a needy inner child that hijacks them from time to time and causes them to behave in immature, embarrassing, controlling, manipulative, desperate, self sabotaging and yes, needy ways? Do you know that when this happens it makes that individual feel weak, ... Views: 49
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 44
Couples usually end up accepting the lack of desire and passion in their relationship as a fact of life for a longterm relationship. They are not happy or satisfied with this, but their attempts at remedying their lack of (passionate) physical intimacy don’t usually succeed.
The reason ... Views: 43
Do you have a deep need to get people to like you? Do you spend inordinate amounts of time, energy and thought making sure others appreciate you? Do you feel trapped in this habitual behavior? Do you feel frustrated enough to say "enough is enough"? Well if so then this article may very well be ... Views: 88
What is your definition of a true friend?
Well most start with: someone who is there when you need them, someone who really cares, someone who will listen when no one else will, someone who is empathetic and understanding etc.
Such criteria are usually based on the premise that "when I'm ... Views: 88
Is it not striking that so few good relationships exist these days? So much so that we as a species seem to have resigned ourselves to believing that human beings simply cannot have healthy relationships. Unfortunately this view has only come into vogue because we have yet to appreciate the real ... Views: 105
It has been clear that most relationships wind up being chaotic co-dependent entities that often end tragically. Why is this and can anything be done to stem this epidemic of unhappiness?
Absolutely! First however one must understand the source of this problem. So what is that?
Well, ... Views: 54
Often times couples get so hang up in the business of running their life, attending to their family and other responsibilities, and working that being together, enjoying each other and having fun falls to the way side. This creates a terrible state of affairs where after a while couples forget ... Views: 54
Do you know that most individuals have their lives structured for them by the "need to please others"? Do you know that this means they don't really have control over their own lives?
Do you know that this leads to feelings of low self worth, low self confidence, low self esteem, feelings of ... Views: 79
Do you know that if you're surrounded by needy friends and acquaintances there is a high probability that you too are needy and dependent? Do you know that means you likely lack inner strength and self confidence? Do you know that means your life may not be unfolding in an optimal and fulfilling ... Views: 67
Do you know that the fear of rejection, like the proverbial statement, leads to a self fulfilling prophecy of rejection each and every time? Do you know if you have been programmed with this fear your life will be full of repeated disappointments, heart break, episodes of rejection/abandonment, ... Views: 58
Many individuals suffer with the fear of abandonment. The havoc it wreaks in one's relationships is, just that, the high risk of being abandoned. So like a self fulfilling prophecy it draws the same negative consequences to itself thereby making it stronger and more intractable. Sadly few ever ... Views: 58
Do you know that one of the underlying causes of toxic relationships is the fear of abandonment? Do you know this fear causes one to become needy, controlling, manipulative, bullying, jealous, insecure, vulnerable, anxious and unattractive, to name a few, thereby making them and their ... Views: 64
When individuals lack a sense of self esteem, self worth, and self confidence often they also feel themselves to be unattractive and unlovable. Not only do such feelings impair and undermine their ability to attract a suitable partner they also motivate the emergence of self sabotaging behaviors ... Views: 63
There are many unhealthy unconscious reasons that lead individuals to seek out a relationship. These include things such as:
1. The fear of being alone.
2. The fear that one will not make it in life alone.
3. The need to be taken care of.
4. The belief that one needs the help of ... Views: 115
Do you know that many individuals who struggle with emotional intimacy issues in relationships harbor a deep fear that they may become passive and/or dependent on their partner? Do you know that this fear serves as a huge impediment to relationship success? Do you know that there is a way to ... Views: 61
Do you know that neediness is the central cause of unhealthy and unsustainable co-dependent relationships? Do you know that needy "stuff" exists because you still see and experience your self as a small, helpless, vulnerable, child who needs to be loved, wanted, nurtured, taken care of and made ... Views: 99
In a recent film the actor Tom Cruise makes the famous and well remembered statement "You complete me". Is it really possible to find a sense of completion even in the best of relationships? Here I expound on why a feeling of completion can never come through another. I also outline the true ... Views: 114
Are you one of those people who fears being rejected by others? Does this fear make you overly cautious about how you behave around them? Does it inhibit your self expression and your spontaneity? Does it make you feel and appear needy? Does it in fact make you so unattractive to others that it ... Views: 98
Do you know that neediness in the form of clingyness, jealousy, feelings of insecurity, fears of being alone, fears of abandonment and rejection, the need to do surveillance, the tendency to manipulate and control, and even to blackmail, to name a few are highly destructive not only to your ... Views: 119
Do you know that co-dependent neediness is supposed to help one get others to love, appreciate, need, accept, like, respect, and want (to name a few) the person who is engaging this tendency? Do you know it does exactly the opposite and turns that person into a pariah?
Do you know ... Views: 112
Do you know that co-dependent patterns mean that one is stuck in needy child like states while trying to have adult relationships? Do you know this will only lead to self sabotage and failed relationships? Do you know it's possible to permanently and completely release such unhealthy immature ... Views: 76
Mind Your Own Side of the Fence!
We hear all the time that having boundaries is a must for healthy living and happiness in relationship. The only glitch is that a lot of people don’t have the slightest idea about boundaries, never mind about setting them appropriately.
I find that ... Views: 84
Cultivate Your Intimacy!
The hecticness and speediness of today’s pace of life makes it challenging for partners to synchronize, connect and bond. Add to this each partner’s limitations and the journey to Intimacy can feel pretty daunting. It’s no wonder partners ... Views: 102
Attune to Your Partner!
What is a Successful Relationship?
Is being with your spouse, partner, for decades the definition of a successful relationship? Is it raising awesome children? Is it having financial resources, a beautiful home? Is it having our partner do stuff for us? Is it having ... Views: 82
What is a controlling relationship?
Well it's when one or both partners attempt to get the other to meet their needs in order to help themselves feel secure.
Now this may sound a bit strange to some of you as you find yourselves scratching your heads wondering what the problem is here. ... Views: 85
Why do most relationships fail? Is it because of a fear of commitment, a fear of being honest, a fear of intimacy, the result of co-dependent neediness, etc.? Well would you be surprised that many of these are only the surface veneer to a much deeper problem that each individual presents with ... Views: 140
The fear of abandonment can place significant stresses on a relationship. So much so that it often leads to the very outcome that is feared. Is there some way to permanently release what amounts to early life programming so as to help restore both you and your relationship to life?
As ... Views: 58