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In some relationships, unhealthy ones to say the least, one person or the other uses their partner as a punching bag as a way of punishment; punishment for hurting them and making them unhappy. Instead of taking responsibility for their own happiness, they make you suffer. They may criticize ... Views: 51
Where There Is a Will There Is A Way
The truth is that we are living in our physical bodies and have “this” one life to live. We each can only take it one day at a time! Of course, I know that this is nothing new to you. In fact, its a philosophy you’ve heard dozens of times before; ... Views: 145
Ana (not her real name*) came to see me because she was having second thoughts about her job and relationship and was looking for direction. She had the desire to switch to a holistic career and had taken some reiki classes. She also remembered being able to see people’s auras when she was a kid ... Views: 167
Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict (which includes an alcoholic), gambler, or compulsive shopper. Enablers suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior rather than the addict. Enabling “removes the natural consequences to the ... Views: 275
I grew up hearing a statement that went like this: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Really? I think not.
Words can cause a great deal of pain to anyone and especially someone who struggles with codependency.
Today I’d like to discuss a little about ... Views: 184
As human beings we all need to let go sometimes in order to experience a happy life. Keeping emotions locked up within ourselves is not healthy for us or for those close to us. This is why emotional release is a necessary thing. The problem is that many people have no idea how to perform this ... Views: 216
If you’re struggling with codependency, I want you to know that codependence recovery is an important part of getting through your issues and gaining some freedom. Not everyone’s path will look the same, but committing to some sort of recovery will be most beneficial to you.
Breaking the ... Views: 207
Codependency is often thought of as a relationship problem and considered by many to be a disease. In the past, it was applied to relationships with alcoholics and drug addicts. It is a relationship problem; however, the relationship that’s the problem is not with someone else, but the ... Views: 926
If you find yourself alone, bored and empty inside during the holidays, then ask God to help you to find your people, your place, your focus and activities. If you are alone, that means that the people surrounding you where you are are not the right friends for you and you have chosen to not ... Views: 391
There was an extended period of time in my life where I was a CAVE dweller. We all know people that are. CAVE is an acronym for Citizens Against Virtually Everything. CAVE dwellers are the people that look at life as a glass that is half full and complain about it. They complain loudly about ... Views: 377
Have you been told, “Just let go of it,” or tell yourself, “I have to let go,” but wonder, how? I’ve asked myself that question. Sometimes you want to let go of a worry or an obsession about someone else. You may try to detach, but can't. Other times when you can’t move forward after a major ... Views: 742
Have you ever felt you were giving too much to others? taking on their problems or allowing them to dump their problems on you? Is it hard for you to say no or tell another person how you are feeling without guilt or shame?
These may be signs that your boundaries are fuzzy and could benefit ... Views: 402
About 30 years ago, my dad joked (or so I thought was a joke): “The soul mate of your dreams is gonna become the cellmate of your nightmares.” It takes some of us decades to realize that our parents were actually a lot smarter than we gave them credit for. What I thought was just ... Views: 565
Most of us believe that we want to have a loving and intimate relationship with a significant other. But we may not realize what that actually means. We may not be ready to deal with and reveal our own inner demons, those parts of our self that cause us to feel hurt, insecure, ashamed and ... Views: 1475
Saying the words, "I want to break up," whether with respect to a marital relationship or any other committed romantic relationship, is one of the hardest things a human being ever has to do.
Making the conscious choice to end one of the strongest bonds we have ever made frightens us to our ... Views: 625
Are you in a relationship with an addict? Have your attempts at helping that person failed? Do you feel powerless? Codependency is a term used when one person develops unhealthy patterns due to the involvement with another person who has the disease of addiction. Some of the negative patterns ... Views: 578
Sometimes, the breakup is initiated by the long-suffering spouse or intimate partner of the narcissist or psychopath. As she develops and matures, gaining in self-confidence and a modicum of self-esteem (ironically, at the narcissist’s behest in his capacity as her “guru” and “father figure”), ... Views: 969
Clinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ... Views: 764
Clinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ... Views: 480
Pathological envy is not the same as romantic jealousy. These two emotions have little to do with each other.
Romantic jealousy is the product of a violation of trust; a breach of romantic exclusivity of intimacy; and a denial of possession. It also involves damage to the self-esteem and ... Views: 461
Stop selling your love. Be You - The Greatest Gift of All. Become a love consultant, share your love freely and openly, and watch love easily and effortlessly rebound to you.
Have you ever met someone who keeps telling you how wonderful they are, how caring and loving they are, and how ... Views: 689
The music industry is obsessed with love. Songs about love reach #1 on the charts over and over again. But the type of love sung about is often more like compulsion, neediness, personal inadequacy, idealization of another, mystery, novelty, unavailability, codependency and actually the ... Views: 998
Not everyone who takes drugs in an addict or even likely to become one, just as not everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic. In fact here are many who, notwithstanding the campaigns against both indulge in substance abuse. Students are especially fond of acquiring a skin full and making ... Views: 570
In the light of Chad Ochocinco & Evelyn Lozada’s domestic dispute, it’s not surprising that many people are speculating the reality of their high-status relationship. According to reports, Chad, ex-player for the Miami dolphins, head butt his new wife, Evelyn, after she confronted him about a ... Views: 847
Shame is so painful to the psyche that most people will do anything to avoid it – even though it’s a natural emotion that everyone has. It’s a physiologic response of the autonomic nervous system. You might blush, have a rapid heartbeat, break into a sweat, freeze, hang your head, slump your ... Views: 1055
Codependence is a new word that became popular in the 1980's. It has become a buzzword and important for you to understand in becoming the person you want to be. In less aware times codependence was considered normal. To be good, perfect, compliant, agreeable, giving, and selfless was rewarded ... Views: 951
Everyday Dilemma: Should I keep my own counsel and accept my partner’s unpleasant behaviors? Or, should I let him know that I reject them and want him to change?
There’s something very odd about us humans. We invite others to be our intimate friends, lovers, and partners because we either ... Views: 943
Throughout the first sixteen years of my marriage my husband, Dean, struggled with his addiction to alcohol, prescription pain pills, and crack cocaine. As his addiction continued to get worse, my ability to set healthy boundaries failed. This didn’t happen overnight -- it was a gradual process ... Views: 1445
Everyday Dilemma: Do I honor my thirst to be alone for awhile, or do I follow the longing in my heart to be together with friends and family?
For years I believed intimacy meant being together with my beloveds - all the time! Everyone I knew suffered greatly from my youthfully exuberant ... Views: 921
The Everyday Dilemma: Do I take care of myself now, or everyone and everything else first, including my career?
Most of us truly wish to infuse our lives with love, compassion, and caring. And, you have probably been enticed by the common notion that bringing these words to life requires ... Views: 837
The dilemmas of codependent men aren’t talked about. Unlike women, men don’t discuss their relationship problems with friends and family. Instead, they internalize their pain. Many are in denial, suffer in silence, or become numb to their needs and feelings. They shun attention and try to do the ... Views: 1403
Are you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, one of the things you might be wondering is what caused your codependency. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called ... Views: 888
Are you with the best partner for you? Whether you are married to yours, living with them or contemplating spending a lot of time with them in the future it is a good idea to know if you are truly compatible with them first.
Remember that sometimes your partner shows a certain side of their ... Views: 1033
It seems to be a silent but growing epidemic of miscommunication between people in any kind of relationships. If you read forum comments, help requests are popping up everywhere, and the hurt from miscommunication seems to be a shared national pain.
Several factors have contributed to the ... Views: 1355
Are you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. Codependents struggle with guilt in relationships because they hold untrue beliefs about relationships. They need to change their inaccurate beliefs about ... Views: 903
Many people claim that they trust others until they have reason not to, but when you first meet someone, you don’t know anything about their integrity or past conduct, except what they tell you. Trustworthiness is proven over time by actions, not only by words. You can get hurt by believing what ... Views: 1178
Satisfying relationships are built on a foundation of safety and trust that you won’t be hurt physically or emotionally. Whether you trust too little or too much is influenced by your past, but once trust is broken, your sense of safety is in jeopardy. You feel insecure and may begin to question ... Views: 1142
The following 6 Scriptural misunderstandings form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural understandings contribute to Christian codependency. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared ... Views: 848
Before we answer the question "What makes codependency qualify as Christian codependency?" we need to understand the history of the term. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called ... Views: 788
Take a close look at the life of any person struggling with addiction, and you will likely find at least one family member or friend 'helping' that person. Somebody making it easier for the addict to continue in the progression of their disease. This behavior is called enabling. The problem is ... Views: 1017
How do we relate to others? One of the key aspects which influences all our interactions with others is the extent of unconscious co-dependent behaviour that exists in us.
Ask yourself this question: Is there anything in my life, right now, that I feel anxious about? Do I feel responsible, in ... Views: 873
Everyone laughs when I tell them that I wrote Codependency for Dummies. But codependency is no laughing matter. It causes serious pain and affects the majority of Americans, both in and out of relationships. I know. I spent decades recovering.
There are all types of codependents, including ... Views: 1233
The term codependency has been around for almost four decades. Although it originally applied to spouses of alcoholics, first called co-alcoholics, research revealed that the characteristics of codependents were much more prevalent in the general population than had been imagined. In fact, they ... Views: 982
What do YOU believe are the 3 causes of all relationship problems?
* Inadequate Money?
* Not enough or too much Sex?
* Friends interfering?
* Family triangles and intrusions?
* Poor communication?
* Emotional Imbalance?
Relationships are more complex than many of us care to ... Views: 1271
Worry Warts Anonymous
By Patricia Potts
Okay, I admit it. Worrying comes natural for me. In fact I will actually admit that at times I am addicted. When I became a parent then a grandparent my worrying accelerated. When my little ones lay cuddled in the warmth of blankets. I ... Views: 997
How often have you heard the following phrases coupled with the most horrific physical, verbal, and psychological abuse: "It's all your fault, you made me do it" or "look what you made me do!"
Abusers have alloplastic defenses and an external locus of control. This means that they tend to ... Views: 1362
Many victims of narcissists are firmly convinced that they have been "chosen" by their abusers because of their capacity to empathize, their innate sensitivity, compassion, and their ability to love and care. Indeed, these qualities tend to attract exploitative psychopathic predators who ... Views: 1288
Not all Emotional Abuse is obvious. In fact, behavior that belies Emotional Abuse often starts out feeling good. Have you ever met the charmer, the smooth talker? Everything you say and do he finds adorable. Narcissists are masters of charm and sweet talk. His doting and compliments feel good. ... Views: 1003
To become consciously aware you that your thoughts and feelings are dysfunctional can be a life-changing realization that is transformational. Any relationship built on the foundations of unstable emotions will be dancing on the knife-edge of emotional stability. If you are experiencing an ... Views: 2361
People looking for the answers to overcoming their love addiction often ask two questions, “What does recovery really mean when it comes to breaking this problem”? ... and “What are key things I need to work on to successfully recover from love addiction”?
When we are new to recovery, we may ... Views: 1386