When people talk about what it means to be an adult, being independent is never too far away. Here, one will be empowered to live their own life and to support themselves. So whereas a child is dependent on their caregivers to survive, an adult is not dependent on anyone in particular.
And so ... Views: 10
The concept as well as the feeling of being in Love has become so distorted and confused these days that few can really tell you, when asked, whether they are truly in love with their partner. Why is that?
Well one of the most significant reasons is that true feelings of Love are often ... Views: 11
What is emotional intimacy? Well simply it is the ability to share your true and authentic self with your partner or lover in a way that enriches the relationship as well as your experience of being alive. Many feel this capacity to be known to another is one of the most powerful aspects of ... Views: 15
Narcissism or what many recognize colloquially as someone with a "big ego" is, in my view, a poorly understood phenomenon. Although it is both hated and at times revered it's presence in an individual severely incapacitates them in many areas of their life. Unfortunately such individuals are ... Views: 18
“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends and it will get you the right ones.”
We all have been there! Maybe you had a friend or you know someone now who is in a big DRAMA! The situation keeps getting worse and you can’t believe the stories… affairs, lying, addictions, bills not paid, ... Views: 21
Do you know that many people harbor a fear of abandonment from past breakups that makes them needy, jealous, controlling, insecure, unattractive, ultimately sabotages their relationships and leads to more feelings of abandonment?
Do you know this vicious cycle can now be permanently stopped ... Views: 36
If you were truly honest with yourself behind all of those things you do to distract yourself i.e. sex, work, drugs, recreational pursuits, relationships, and so on there is lurking a deep sense of emptiness within that many would characterize as part of the human condition. In fact it is this ... Views: 39
Do you know that many people harbor the need to be accepted by others? Do you know this need enslaves you, your self esteem, self confidence, sense of normalcy as a person, and your life to the whims of others? Do you know that means you are not living your life but a life dictated to you by ... Views: 44
Perfectionism is an addiction, meaning we’re repeatedly unable to stop our perfectionist behaviors. Like other addictions, perfectionism varies in severity and can have negative consequences. It harms our self-esteem, make us unable to accept other people’s differences and their mistakes and ... Views: 26
Do you know that needy behavior is the single most common killer of any relationship? Do you know that the majority of adults harbor this destructive tendency within them? Do you know that all neediness is rooted in old emotional baggage stored in the subconscious mind in the form of negative ... Views: 45
Do you know that one of the most significant reasons individuals find themselves a) sabotaging their relationships or) being unable to actually have a fulfilling relationship is because of an unconscious fear of intimacy?
Do you know this fear is often the result of subconsciously stored ... Views: 36
Do you know that neediness is not only unattractive it also has the potential to eventually kill any relationship? Do you know that many people believe it is a normal part of the human condition to be needy?
Do you know that it is in fact absolutely "abnormal" to be needy in any way? ... Views: 50
Do you know that neediness is the result of old emotional baggage stored within in the form of negative memories of abuse, rejection, neglect, humiliation, bullying, failure etc.? Do you know that these memories create the familiar nagging feeling of emptiness that many people have inside them? ... Views: 38
Fun is important in our relationship. Having fun releases different chemicals in the brain that engender good feelings which get then associated with our partner. This is a good thing. Having fun with our partner should be a priority in our relationship. We can get huge returns on this ... Views: 52
The majority of the couples that want to improve their relationship identify that communication is an issue for them. They share how they can’t see eye-to-eye, convey their feelings and perspective, or understand each other. They report they end up fighting every time they try to address ... Views: 52
There is a tendency towards passiveness in our relationship as time passes.
Couples get comfortable in their routine, whether it is an efficient and satisfying routine or not, and lax in their relating, whether they are on the same page or not. They settle into whatever relating they have ... Views: 43
“It comes from saying No to 1000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do to much.” Steve Jobs
Are you beginning to see where we need our tools, ability to say No, ability to make requests, ability to speak our truth in order be a good leader, and in order to be able ... Views: 68
In a recent article I noted that one of the roots of rescuing behavior arose out of one's early life experiences having "programmed" them to believe that feelings of sympathy were normal and/or loving human traits.
If you're reading these articles you may then feel a strange degree of ... Views: 41
In recent articles on relationships, their challenges and their triumphs I have discussed how one's one personal history of trauma:
1. Reduces one's self esteem, self worth, self confidence.
2. Impairs one's ability to be open, honest and relaxed with their partner.
3. Leads to a ... Views: 37
Share Good Vibes With Your Partner
We are energy. We look like solid entities in our human form only because of our limited human faculties. We are energetic beings with vibrational frequencies. Imagine us as energy waves, reaching further than apparent by the illusion of our human ... Views: 33
There is no better way to create wonderful memories and meaning in one’s relationship than with rituals. Rituals are a special way to show love, appreciation and importance for the partners throughout time in the life of the relationship.
Relationships are made up of interactions between two ... Views: 44
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 59
Do you know that the majority of individuals feel needy inside? Do you know that neediness makes them feel weak, inadequate, deficient, defective, vulnerable, manipulative, unattractive, depletes their self confidence, self esteem self worth, personal integrity, and sabotages their ability to ... Views: 55
Couple relationships experiencing difficulties can be categorized into two broad styles of relating: temperamental or tenuous, and can fluctuate between these extremes. These relationships are not satisfying, and not likely to succeed – enjoy couples’ inherent synergy, as the partners are spent ... Views: 71
One characteristic satisfied and successful couples have in common is that they are part of each other’s lives. Duh-ah! I’m sure this does not come as a surprise. The trick though is how the partners are part of each other’s lives.
Partners have difficulties negotiating what this means to ... Views: 39
Do you know many individuals feel like needy, dependent, weak, vulnerable, helpless, frightened children inside? Do you know this "personality state" robs them of their self confidence, inner strength, courage, ability to trust and assert themselves, and ultimately of any real success or ... Views: 53
Be Awesome With Your Partner!
How badly do you want to have an awesome relationship with your partner?How committed are you to making the relationship work? Is failure an option? Do you have one foot out the door? I hear partners complain about how they want things to be different, but they ... Views: 31
You might not have a chance if you keep this up: A tendency to look for weaknesses, gaps, holes, things to improve, deficiencies and the like, and miss the boat on capitalizing on strengths in your relationship. We bring this tendency to how we view our partner and how we relate with them. We ... Views: 75
One would think that connecting with our partner is an easy feat. After all they are the one person we are supposed to be the most intimate with. This is most often not the case and we are actually not that intimate. I find that couples have a very difficult time connecting, feeling connected ... Views: 60
Despite the relief that Craig felt when his wife Sophie did his bookkeeping for his landscape business he was frequently choked with shame. The conflict made him snappy and uninterested in spending leisure time with her. He dreaded going to bed at night because he didn’t want to face his ... Views: 61
Trudy a twenty-nine year old local newspaper reporter and Max a thirty-three year old limousine company owner had endless fights about who was doing the lion’s share of parenting their two children. They argued about what to do, how to do it, when to do it and who should take the blame when ... Views: 50
Driving home from his last landscape design consult, thirty-three year old Craig’s stomach was in knots wondering if Sophie would have gotten over the row she had with her mother the other day. He felt bad for his wife who had tried and failed to arrange a family dinner, taking out her ... Views: 56
Do you know that neediness manifests in many destructive ways i.e. as feelings of insecurity and jealousy, controlling behaviors, the fear of being alone, the fear of rejection or abandonment, the fear of intimacy, the fear of commitment, the need to do surveillance or spy on your partner and so ... Views: 60
Our relationship is one of the biggest, most powerful asset and gift we have in our life! It is a true treasure chest worth a fortune. It can deliver unimaginable heights of satisfaction, peace, joy, love, happiness and success!!
To cash-in on this fortune we have to polish the gems on the ... Views: 91
We all have dreams, wishes and goals. There are things we want for ourselves, our partner, our family. Sometimes though we find that it is difficult, if not impossible, to make our wish a reality.
We may want to start a new business, go back to school, learn a new trade, pick up a new hobby ... Views: 89
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals make an unconscious contract with each other to try to satisfy the unmet needs of the other. Initially, especially in the case of a couple, this contract is defined as "love". For instance, how many times have you heard yourself ... Views: 128
Do you know that neediness is not only unattractive it also has the potential to eventually kill any relationship? Do you know that many people believe it is a normal part of the human condition to be needy? Do you know that it is in fact absolutely "abnormal" to be needy in any way? Finally, do ... Views: 105
Do you know that the fear of abandonment is a major impediment to ever having or sustaining a successful and healthy relationship? Do you know most people who find themselves unconsciously sabotaging their relationships harbor this fear deep within them? Do you know that this fear often arises ... Views: 52
Do you know that many relationships are founded on co-dependent manipulative neediness that masquerades as love? Do you know that most people never realize the difference between the two? Do you know that means the majority of such relationships are therefore conflictual, abusive and bound for ... Views: 95
People usually marry for love. A new phenomenon, only a couple of centuries old, in the history of the institution of marriage and in this culture. I say “usually” because sometimes people just get married because that is the thing to do, again speaking from today’s and ... Views: 50
When was the last time you were physically intimate with your partner? If you say a long time, you are not alone! A lot of couples share their sexual life is in the toilet. They struggle getting along, among other things, to the point that being physically intimate is the furthest thing from ... Views: 116
Do you know the main reason relationships fail is because the individuals in them are emotionally unprepared to have relationships in the first place? Do you know however that emotional adequacy in this context does not require years of psychotherapy but instead simply the recognition and ... Views: 93
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals make an unconscious contract with each other to try to satisfy the unmet needs of the other. Initially, especially in the case of a couple, this contract is defined as "love". For instance, how many times have you heard yourself ... Views: 95
Regain Your Inner Core By Working On Core Issues
The concept of family goes back to the beginning of time. It’s the traditional social system that shapes our inter-personal dynamics and provides the working model for the story we create about ourselves. Of course, we’ve all been children at ... Views: 61
Partners love telling each other what to do, how to behave, how to be, what to think, how to feel, and even things like what to eat and how to dress! They are on a mission to change their partner, consciously or not. This is a sign of lack of boundaries and personal ... Views: 56
Do you know that the reason many people are addicted to toxic relationships is because they feel emotionally incomplete and empty inside? Do you know these feelings desperately drive one to look to a partner for love, validation, security, care taking, self esteem, self worth, a sense of ... Views: 79
Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard a needy person tries at having a relationship their "neediness" always sabotages their most concerted efforts? Have you ever wondered why some people are needier than others or in fact why people are needy at all?
What's more, have you ever ... Views: 110
Do you know that the majority of individuals feel needy inside? Do you know that neediness makes them feel weak, inadequate, deficient, defective, vulnerable, manipulative, unattractive, depletes their self confidence, self esteem self worth, personal integrity, and sabotages their ability to ... Views: 76
If you were truly honest with yourself behind all of those things you do to distract yourself i.e. sex, work, drugs, recreational pursuits, relationships, and so on there is lurking a deep sense of emptiness within that many would characterize as part of the human condition. In fact it is this ... Views: 106
Do you know that many people are not fully mature enough to have healthy relationships? Do you know this immaturity manifests as a fear of being alone, fear of abandonment, feelings of jealousy and insecurity, controlling and manipulative behaviours, fears of commitment and intimacy, self ... Views: 90