If you are trying for a long time now to find a partner (if you are still single) with whom to develop a successful relationship, or to develop a satisfying one (if you already have a partner), but are unsuccessful – you are not alone. Many do! And like many others you are probably doing whatever many others do: you read advice columns about dating and relationships; you listen to various tips about “how to date”; “how to make a relationship work”; “how to communicate”, and so on and so forth: the sky’s the limit.
Indeed, it is very “customary” to do whatever everybody else is doing and NOT do what others don’t. But if you haven’t been successful until now to develop the relationship that you want, isn’t it time that you find a new way to succeed in developing one?
Isn’t it time you find YOUR OWN WAY to success?
Sometimes in order to succeed you need to take an approach others haven’t taken; an approach you yourself have never taken before. This involves getting up the courage and taking a risk doing things differently.
At times, only when you take a risk and do things YOUR way - you succeed. The movie “The Artist” has taken an unconventional approach to the way movies are presently done and won the Oscar in 5 categories! It hasn’t employed special effects which so “customary” are in today’s films; it isn’t as colourful as many others films are, but rather is a black-and-white movie. And not only that: it is a silent movie!
And a winner!
APPROACH DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS YOUR WAY – AND WIN!
A way to succeed that you have probably NOT tried before (either because others don’t or because you might have not heard about it) is to develop your Self-Awareness. This means, becoming aware of the ways in which you might have harmed your attempts at relationships until now.
If you have indeed listened to advice tips, read relationships columns and done many other things to succeed in developing a satisfying relationship but failed so far, there is probably “something” you do that hinders your attempts. Whether these are your fears, needs, reactions or behaviors; whether these are your unrealistic expectations or fantasies or whether these are your attitudes about partners and relationships – any one, or a combination of some - makes you fail in your relationships.
Developing your Self-Awareness will show you what this “something” is, how to de-activate the harm it does and enable you to understand how to go about developing a successful relationship.
BRAKE THE HABIT OF “DOING” DATING & RELATIONSHIPS THE WAY YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DOING THEM
There is a saying: “If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten ...”
Therefore, the only way for you to eventually succeed in having a satisfying relationship is by attempting to approach dating and relationships differently than the way you have been doing them until now. One promising approach is to become aware of and pay attention to your harmful, self-sabotaging patterns.
Whether or not you have done what others do in order to have a successful relationship, if you have failed until now, why not do things differently? Why not develop your Self-Awareness, get to understand how you have been harming your attempts until now and become empowered to make the necessary changes leading to success?
As you become The Artist of your own way of approaching dating and relationships, you will succeed and win!
Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a Self-Awareness and Relationships Expert, with 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. Dr. Gil has taught thousands of students, wrote numerous articles on the subject and the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship”: http://amzn.to/eAmMmH