Christian Relationship Help: Four Ways to Respond to Passive Aggressive Behavior

This Christian relationship help will provide you with four ways to respond to passive aggressive behavior in the people you interact with. The closer a person is to you, the more the passive aggressive behavior will be problematic. Jesus warned us to be on guard against people who will attempt to manipulate, harm, outmaneuver, and abuse us. When you have close relationships with people who aren't living and walking in the truth and are engaging in unhealthy behaviors, it is important that you recognize what you are dealing with and respond to it in a way that is healthy for you and the relationship. Here are the four ways:

Don't attack. Passive aggressive people evoke anger in other people and the anger usually isn't passive. You may have so much anger pent up inside of you that any time you interact, you are attacking and intense. This will only evoke more passive anger toward you, so even though it takes a tremendous amount of self-control, don't attack. Remember, you will be accused of attacking even when you don't, so you will need to learn to remain calm and state your truth in short non-defensive ways that focus on your needs and don't label, accuse, or criticize.

Encourage truth. When the passive aggressive person risks talking about feelings, issues, problems, and concerns, be careful not to be defensive. Instead, encourage the truth and listen intently. You don't have to agree with what is being said, but you do need to make it a safe experience for the passive aggressive person who fears being vulnerable and is taking a huge risk in speaking the truth.

Resist lies. You have to hold firmly to the truth about you and the other person. Don't believe the untruths projected onto you. Passive aggressive people see things in others that aren't there. They project their own insecurities and weaknesses. Their fear of being dependent on you will cause them to see you as controlling when you may only be trying to fix the relationship, ask for cooperation, or talk about things that need to be discussed. Stand firm in your truth no matter what is said and even when you can't convince the other person that what they believe isn't true, believe it yourself.

Set boundaries. You will need boundaries to prevent the passive aggressive person from wrecking havoc in your life. Give time limits for what you need and have a backup plan if the person doesn't follow through. Adjust your expectations, so you won't be so dependent on the person acting differently. State your decisions and stick to them. Finally, decide how much you will tolerate before giving an ultimatum or ending the relationship.

This Christian relationship help gives you four ways to respond to passive aggressive behavior. Using them will empower you and enable you to deal with the anger without using anger yourself.