Dear Dr Romance

I am hard of hearing, and I have hard time finding Mr. Right.  I grew up around hearing guys  but I haven't often dated.  My first marriage was to a hearing guy and I taught him sign language so we did fine for a short time; but he didn't provide, and he cheated on me and lied. We were separated for ten years, then we divored. My parents really control my life and my kids.  I'm a deaf mother, but my dad wont let me take my son.  My boyfriend is deaf; I know him for two years he;s a good guy, but my dad said we can't be together.  My boyfriend said just forget it.  Your parents control you.  We broke up. Why doesn't my dad trust me, I'm over forty.  It hurt me so much for long time.  I want move out and try to save my money but I can't handle that. I want to be able get married again, and be peaceful in myself.   Why can't find the right guy? Most guys don't want to go out with me because I live with my parents.  Help me find Mr. Right!

Dear Reader:

I understand how your hearing problem can make life difficult, but it's really time for you to figure out how to grow up and run your own life.  Other people with hearing problems are able to live on their own. The National Association of the Deaf can help you find the resources you need. As long as you allow your parents to control you, you're going to have a tough time finding a workable relationship.  As long as you act like a dependent child, your parents will treat you like one. Learn to handle your own money, and your own life.

You are right that you are the mom and the kids are yours, but I'm concerned that your parents are so controlling because you haven't demonstrated that you can live your life responsibly. Is that the case?  Instead of focusing on finding a relationship, why not focus on how to get in charge of your life and your finances.  Your parents won't be around forever, so it's time for you to learn to manage your own life and your children.  

Once you do that, and learn to live on your own terms, and take care of your business and your children, it will be much easier to find a man.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will show you how to reclaim your life from your family and make it your own.  The articles "DetoxYour Life" and "Getting Our of Your Own Way"  will also help you create the peace you're seeking. 

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For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.